Get your flu shot and mask up ppl. Influenza A and specifically type H3N2 is wrecking both patients and hospitals right now. I am so serious some of the patient complaints are- “Like coughing up razor blades” “My body is on fire” “It hurts to breathe” (typed out by pt)

"new year, new you" = "this year i'll learn a little bit of what fat politics is"

take fatness off the indicator list of how kind someone is

take fatness off the indicator list of how clean someone is

take fatness off the indicator list of how savvy, sharp, and smart someone is

take fatness off the criteria list for how you exercise

what if you take every "new year, new you" you see this year and change the meaning from "make yourself smaller because smaller is better, make sure you're never too big" change the meaning to "fatness is neutral, fatness is good, take fatness off the criteria list for how you eat"

What's your winter look? 1. sweater goblin 2. coffee witch 3. shambling fog 4. Zamboni driver with dark secrets

Weather app: "It's going to rain in the next 120 minutes; stay dry!" Me: *sodden from hairline to heels from inflating my tires before the overnight freeze* "you don't say"

it does kind of feel like a lot of bluesky users spent four days around their extended family and immediately got on here to be like "the pizza you ate as a child sucks. the twin cities are overrated. what else. pencils should be illegal" you all are disregulated and you need to settle down!!

Y'all remember when Zuckerberg *allegedly* unleashed a highly-coordinated bot farm on Twitter, etc. accusing people of antisemitism for criticizing him in the slightest about building our modern panopticon and y'all fell for it bc you were terrified of being seen as committing wrongthink? Anyway.

MICHIGAN Missing since Christmas morning Selena Strain: 48, 5’4”, twists, glasses 🙏🏽

Holding space for all of the liberals who've been comatose the last couple decades only to wake up precisely now & learn that Jon Stewart has always sucked. We must give them the support needed as they grieve, lest the devastation to the boxed wine aisle rival the supply chain disruptions of COVID.

"I follow Shithead McGee because I hate him" babe I think you need therapy

next year will be my year

Did something just happen? Y'all are vagueposting p hard and I can't figure out the context

Prayers up for ya boy, whomst forgot their NGS scarf and is armed with only their favorite aggrotech playlist for protection against the hells of this earth

Venus Buying Eggs & Toilet Paper, I guess

Good morning, it's boobs. Tits, even.

Happy Futch FThursday to all who celebrate

My body hurts so much now 😭

Hello friends I come to you with a warning If you ever think "hm, my 'memory-foam-on-only-one-side' mattress is really starting to get incredibly uncomfortable and rotating isn't enough; maybe I should flip the mattress to sleep on the non-foam side for awhile", that is the devil talking. RUN.

The realization that a trip to IKEA on the Saturday after Xmas is unavoidable because of murderous intent from the immune system

It happened again, this time trying to scavenge 50% off Xmas stuff at a rich-city Meijer amidst all the silicone-packed Real Homunculi. I can feel "you don't belong here" dripping off their glares like oil.

Was fixing to leave for my allergy shot until I noticed that the rain outside had picked up massively and was starting to form soft proto-icicles on the underside of the deck railing Afk, rescheduling my shot immediately 😭

Had yet another bad sex dream where one of you kinda showed interest but as soon as I attempted to reciprocate even the tiniest bit, you fled. I am so tired of this shit.

this week's post is something i've been working on for a long time, and is a little guide to living the good life. Or it's early aughts punk nostalgia. Or it's my response to tradwife culture. margaretkilljoy.substack.com/p/the-punk-r...

any sufficiently advanced catholicism is indistinguishable from witchcraft

Okay so it appears like I was being obliterated by allergies and that weird pressure system moving through last night. I am mostly better now and on my way to SwampDad's with a Dutch oven of parboiled beans and a pan of greenish cornbread bc all I had in the house was blue masa harina. XMAS MAXXINGG

Old man Potter, the evil billionaire from It’s a Wonderful Life calls the working families of Bedford Falls “a bunch of garlic eaters.” The oligarch class has always tried to squeeze in new slurs to keep the rest of us down. Merry Christmas to all of us garlic eaters. There are no rich men in heaven

The actual two genders

Grinch-ass child

Starting to feel extremely not well, and if I am, I have literally no idea how I got sick because I mask everywhere and barely leave my house. I am so scared. I can't get COVID again; please, please, please not that. I won't survive it twice; I barely survived it the first time. Please no.

🎶"It's beginning to look a lot like... COVID"🎶

“How can you suddenly dislike art when you find out it’s made by AI?” For the same reason I can dislike art when I find out the employees were overworked and underpaid. Because I care about people. You dipshit.

Can someone explain to me why in Pokémon Shield, Eevee sounds like it's saying "Che fai?!" all the time?

to these upcoming eves, days and feelings, wishing everyone the best they can muster

Hey Charlotte folks, heads up, 107.9 just got changed to conservative talk radio delivering nazi shit in NPR voice The prior station that used that spectrum is just moving, not dissolving, so the intent is clearly to sneak in and capture the existing audience

Some of you have forgotten that only three years ago you were perfectly capable of writing a text, writing an email, telling a bedtime story to a child, and it should worry you that powerful companies have convinced us we can’t do things we’ve been doing since the dawn of time.

and there are absolutely people who see themselves as “liberal” or “woke” or whatever who are taking way too much fucking glee in the knowledge that everyone in a position of power is a fucking predator and abuser, as if there aren’t real people who are suffering at the other end of their punchlines

wendell berry QUESTIONNAIRE

The enemy of your enemy is not your friend, and there is no Deus Ex Machina or Adultier Adult in the room who's going to save us so we can go back to "normal". "Normal" got us here. The villains of decades ago who built the foundation of the hell we're in today want you to forget it. Don't let them.

Marvel Syndrome meshes very well with the Unifying Political Theory of Everyone is Twelve, imo. I understand it's a reactive emotional response to not being able to process the constant onslaught of horrors beyond human comprehension, but it will never succeed in solving the issue.

And Evil, sufficiently cowed, will repent, at least until the next exciting episode. Never mind that the current rule structure is what allowed Evil to flourish in the first place -- in Marvel Syndrome, the master's tools will always bring down the master's house. There is no other way to exist.

I've begun referring to this behavior as "Marvel Syndrome" because it feels like a child's understanding of society/the world through the lens of superheroes: Good & Evil are clearly demarcated, and Good will always triumph over Evil w/o deviating from the current rule structure we call Justice.

This take won't earn me any friends I'm sure but the "big-tent"/"welcome to the resistance" people who insist on redeeming yesterday's villains are an insurmountable liability to any movement bc they lack the emotional resilience needed to understand that not everyone deserves a redemption arc.

Fkn told y'all. We live in a nation of adult children who cannot cope with the reality of the horrors.

Thinking about this again, some good morning 🙄

Your power bill has tripled and you can't afford new PC parts just to create this.

MrBeast is just David Parker Ray with an audience of broccoli-headed puppets. Mark my words, he's gonna go full Koresh one day.