Thanks, Vonnegut. 💜

That's what they call m-- *gunshot*

That's what they call m-- *gunshot*

BREAKING: I have just planted so many flowers and I am gonna keep planting flowers until I run out of room, by god

I just think I should be allowed to revoke old people's drivers licenses on the spot if it's very obvious they cannot operate their vehicle in a safe manner

Do I have any friends on here who are good with cacti? If so, can you recommend what tf I should do w/ this lad? I literally did not water it for 2yrs bc depression/chronic illness & it just does not die. It obv needs a repot bc it's clearly not thriving but idk how to handle the flopping. Thoughts?

Okay I am FINALLY slightly better regulated; the planes overhead aren't upsetting me as much, my neighbors are positively screeching at their pool party and it's fine, and the only thing that gets me tense is the occasional subwoofer passing by. Hopefully fireworks tonight don't set me off again.

Why are you single? I'm single bc I'm a seven-course banquet and everyone I meet only has a palate for the McDonald's value menu

There it is, my gender

It happened again 🙂

I went I survived I still think queer people deserve their own hour to speedrun the IKEA before the cishets clog it up with their inanity, kinda like during lockdown when they'd let seniors and immunocompromised people grocery shop in the first hour of the morning

My man Sy Oppington has been BUSY on this here web site lately.

i’m so SICK of sneering, condescending nihilism masquerading as the only form of serious political analysis. stop it!!! the arc of the moral universe is long as hell & we’re all gonna need to push if we want it to bend toward justice so pull yourself together!!!

the timeline of humanity is disaster upon disaster & in the wake of any disaster, whatever it is, most people know that humanity and this planet are worth the herculean effort. doomers & contrarians & fascists are so unnatural to this which is why they never truly win.

thank god we have kelly. this is such a perfectly phrased reminder of something i’ve been ruminating on a lot lately. this hit me like a lightning bolt. stop inviting people to surrender.

despair is not a synonym for political clarity!! yes! it’s cool to care, it’s not cringe to dream. be realistic when you talk logistics but believe in impossible beautiful futures the rest of the time! we can all take turns being hopeful, you don’t have to do it full time. but you do have to try.

There should be an IKEA Express solely for people like me who need ONE (1) $5 item whose exact location in the store we've already triangulated bc we do not deserve to waste our Sunday wading through legions of listless heterosexuals arguing about what shade of beige their throw pillows should be

This is how all men should be imo; men, adjust accordingly plz

Is it time for...a sumo nap? I THINK IT MIGHT BE Anyone local, come on down and join me 😴

Had a nightmare where SwampDad was dying of cancer and I begged him to record all his stories before he dies bc I never got to do that with my mom but he just kept saying sadly "I don't have any stories" and "I don't have time". THANKS BRAIN

Shut it all down, I took the greatest photo of myself of all time today No you can't see unless you ask for it elsewhere I'm very hot and very gay tho

Y'all can safely assume that there's at least a 75% chance I am at least partially unclothed while posting at any given time Not in a sexy way, I just get sensory overload at the drop of a hat

Hokay well I did get some sleep but I can tell I am still hyperaroused bc my head is on a frantic swivel at every sound and I'm having panic attacks about the thought of trying to sleep tonight in case it comes back. I am not thriving today, lads.

Starbucks done EFFED up in Korea. Bad. May 18th just passed, Democratic Movement Day, when rose up after the military dictatorship sent tanks to mass-murder citizens. Some inappropriately call it "Tank Day." Starbucks commemorated Tank Day with a sale on tank tumblers. It gets much worse...

I post to make anyone with my notifications on regret doing that

Something outside is making horrific rumbling sounds like a plane overhead roughly every 30-90 seconds for the last hour or longer and I am literally going insane, like I'm trying to SLEEP??? And all I can think is "are these ICE flights or are they secretly trying to build a data center at night".

It happened again, this time by stumbling across a Reddit post where a woman's husband was putting bleach in her fertilizer jars to kill her houseplants bc he felt she "needed to be knocked down a peg or two". MAYBE DYING SINGLE IS GOOD AND OKAY ACTUALLY

Fun fact: you can sing "There's no bike rack at Menaaaaaards" to the same tune as their jingle

Me complaining to my endo about my perimenopause concerns earlier this morn: "idk, I just feel like I have zero sex drive now, which I guess isn't a big deal bc I'm not dating anyone, but it's pretty disorienting and I'd prefer not to be that disconnected from myself" Me now, hormonal cycle renewed:

Me and who

Late to this, but Rodrigo Da Costa deserves to aggressively shit himself every single day for the rest of his life so he has to wipe his mudbutt with the wrong hand since he was clearly so injured on his poor uWu widdle baby hand

All y'all's takes and discourses are awful today, I'm going outside to listen to soccer games from last night and plant flowers

THE DEVIL'S CUM TREES HAVE BEEN OUTLAWED IN MICHIGAN STARTING 2028!!! YESSSSSSSSS

Thinking about this again Someone get me Ichiyamamoto's phone number and also teach me to speak Japanese so I can text him

Rehab taking longer than expected, aye?

🚨 🚨 🚨 ROSE-BREASTED GROSBEAK PAIR ON THE FEEDER FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY, THIS IS NOT A DRILL 📢 🚨🚨

I literally don't trust people who engaged with higher learning and came away conservative. I think it speaks to character in a really bad way.

"I need AI art, otherwise I can't make my project." Randy Savage cut a promo with nothing but a coffee creamer he swiped from craft services. Stop making excuses and do better.

my haters have made a couple salient points

And as the plastic, oil, and █████ fly, I will have done something worth doing, with my own human hands, my own human heart, and my own human tools. And we'll find out whether human work still matters

RIP in pi$$ bozo, I hope the afterlife is full of trans people giving you wedgies forever

another one who pissed on his legacy on the way out bc he couldn’t help going insane about trans people

So when a robot, a very impressive piece of work I'm sure, is just imitating a human, doing a thing we've already seen? It's a travesty, a "grossly inferior likeness or imitation". It's grotesque. It's *a* grotesque. I strongly feel that this is an insult to life itself.

Petition to dissolve all small town/village/township governments and absorb them into their nearest larger city government; the people in charge of these entities are always the people who should least have access to any kind of power.

yes all of these are biographical because I am a large, loud, messy human constantly barfing my weird emotions and observations all over my life, and I would have it no other way bc say it with me...

AI will never dig its heels in and push back to defend itself; it will never shout at the powers that be "no, no, NO, you're WRONG, my ideas are IMPORTANT and my voice needs to be HEARD", and that's why it'll never write good

AI will never experience the pain of rejection, whether that be from submitting a creative work, expressing an idea, or shooting your shot by hitting on a modestly well-known niche musician at a merch stand in the basement of a dive bar it drove 5 hours to visit and that's why it'll never write good

AI could never coax fragile, beautiful green life out of a tiny seed, some water and some dirt, and that's why it'll never write good

AI could never spontaneously shave all its hair off on a cold January morning to assuage the burden of being gendered and that's why it'll never write good