I gotta say, filling Europeans up with Ranch was a genius way to lull soccer hooligans into a sluggish, non-violent state.

I've gathered these magical cards to open today on IMBY at 4pm Pacific, and I sure would like you to watch along and tell me I'm big and strong in the live chat www.youtube.com/live/Vff5cZW...

It's @jadomian.bsky.social day over on Jeff Has Cool Friends! James is such an incredible talent, AND one of my favorite people! He's Bernie! He's The My Pillow Guy! He's Bane! But in reality he's so much more, and you can hear more about him over on Patreon.com/jeffmay!

Friday Mailbag live at 4pm Pacific (other times in real timezones) www.youtube.com/live/-88YBCg...

Me: *gives my Subway Take* Host: "100% AGREEEEEE" Me: "...I changed my mind. My take is now the opposite of what I just said."

Hey nerds, you like COMIC BOOKS? Well I'm opening some TRADING CARDS about COMIC BOOKS! Pretty sick, right? 4pm Pacific, come hang! www.youtube.com/live/4fmSIMk...

Figured I'd give it a shot 🥕

It is objectively funny that Trump drained the reflecting pool and filled it with a swamp.

This protein shit has to stop.

This picture, but Jayne is Bugs Bunny in drag and Sophia is Daffy Duck

Doing a sick break over on the JHCC YouTube page at 4pm Pacific! Come hang! www.youtube.com/live/-TfZG2e...

In case you're a stats person, the Department of War is officially 0-1

I'm joined by the diabolical @themightylayman.bsky.social today on Jeff Has Cool Friends! Chew! Detective Comics! Cyclops! Various cease and resists sent directly to me! He's written them all! Patreon.com/jeffmay has early access to uncensored episodes with bonus content, free everywhere next week!

Toys used to be so cool.

HEY GANG, @adamtodbrown.bsky.social and I are going to have a Topps Series 2 Release Day Hobby Box Battle at 4pm Pacific! Come watch! www.youtube.com/live/rhHXZ0C...

Dude in front of me at the car wash is taking forever to wash his HONDA FIT! Bro, you're driving a roller skate, this is a 4 minute process, tops.

Legit got a banger of a Friday Mailbag over on the JHCC channel this afternoon! Come watch at 4pm Pacific! www.youtube.com/live/s7TgySu...

Would've been rad as hell if Meryl Streep and Hulk Hogan switched roles.

Continuing my "These Are an Insane Deal" series of I Must Break You's this afternoon on Jeff Has Cool Cards with these really rad metal Pixar cards today at 4pm Pacific! Come watch live, it would mean a lot because I'm very lonely, probably! www.youtube.com/live/L_vVfdQ...

What I wouldn't give to never wear a Gildan t-shirt for the rest of my life...

I saw that the music department at the Middle School I taught at was in need of sponsors from local businesses, so I said "fuck it" and now my dumbass podcast is right in the middle of these kids' backs at a bunch of school functions

I can't wait until the point when every text I get isn't just candidates in California gossiping about each other into the void.

So Mint on Card is 6/5, which is fun because it's the He-Man movie's opening night and also Prince's birthday. Nailed it. Anyways, this show is going to be even better than the flyer! Come to Blast from the Past in Burbank and hang out and be cool!

I open it the Popeye cards this afternoon at 4pm Pacific! Come watch me do that and hang out! www.youtube.com/live/3L0fnoy...

Man, Abadox was sick as hell

Just walked up and gave my girlfriend a kiss on the neck and she started singing Cotton Eye Joe, so I'm probably going to be murdered soon.

Don't my biggest stream in a long time with the fantastic Jim Fletcher today at 4pm Pacific! He'll be opening One Piece, I'll be opening DC Annual, and there's so much more to see! www.youtube.com/live/QqA2_PU...

My girlfriend did not waste any time between me wearing a green hoodie and her revealing (or developing?) an Arrow fetish.

Thinking about going back to college for another degree just so I can boo an AI-obsessed piece of shit commencement speaker at my graduation.

Hot take: if you talk shit to a pro athlete at a game, they should be able to say whatever they want back with zero scrutiny like it's a roast battle.

If you see a woman dressed like this, looking for any CEO of any kind, no you didn't, mind your business.

Gambling on your phone is the same thing as ordering McDonald's on Doordash: Get up and go to the place, you giant fucking loser

Dundun Dun Duh-Dunnn Dundun Dun Duh-Dunnn 🔥🔥🔥🔥🤖🔥🔥🔥🔥 Dundun Dun Duh-Dunnn Dundun Dun Duh-Dunnn www.youtube.com/live/TkaC0Fp...

Mint on Card is tonight, and if you're in Southern California and you don't go, I can only assume it's because you have bad taste and terrible breath.

Hey, it's @maggiemaefish.bsky.social Day on JHCF! She's such an incredible talent, with incredible projects all over her timeline, including her upcoming short BLOW!, which you should learn more about! Patreon.com/jeffmay now, uncensored with bone-con! Free everywhere next week!

Quote this with the Star Wars character you most relate to. I'll go first. #MayThe4thBeWithYou

posting for academic purposes

Them: "Hi welcome to [Fast Food Restaurant], will you be using your app today." Me (smiling, cheerful): "Hi! I'd rather fuckin die! Anyways, *gives order*"

New month, new batch of minute rips over on the Jeff Has Cool Cards channel! Come watch and hang and also subscribe because I'm nice and you want to do me a solid! youtube.com/shorts/vGDgN...

Rejoice! It's a two-hour HYPECAST with the beautiful @heytherejeffro.bsky.social. Listen to pals talk for a very long time about movies! SoundCloud: shorturl.at/qKWBs Apple: shorturl.at/XKn6t YouTube: shorturl.at/rUXLb

Hey, @startthemachine.bsky.social and I started covering Gotham (😕) and we made our first episode free, AND we got @thelogantrent.bsky.social to join us! Just type "Tom and Jeff Watch Batman" into like, any search bar and enjoy the insanity.

Trump: "My 'Not involved in human trafficking' interview has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my interview."

I hope the next President isn't addicted to staging fake assassination attempt, this shit is getting exhausting.

About to become a fucking PROBLEM at karaoke

. @thelogantrent.bsky.social, @heytherejeffro.bsky.social, and @startthemachine.bsky.social combining to review Gotham is basically: Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen joining in 2008 to make the greatest (now second greatest) Boston Celtics teams ever. www.patreon.com/posts/tom-an...

Overjoyed at the prospect of getting to listen to the journey @startthemachine.bsky.social and @heytherejeffro.bsky.social will be taking as they watch Gotham over at @gamefullyun.bsky.social a show i watched every season of as they aired and maintain was a blast

When I plug something in and I see little sparks in the outlet

Almost midnight on a Saturday? Time to watch another YouTube video about the Mariana Trench and get freaked the fuck out.