Never Conway.

Damn, I forgot they used to have the ring post cameras, that takes me back.

Let's talk about generative AI, contaminated information, and rhubarb. Once upon a time, Europe was at war. Food was scarce, and the government of the quote-unquote United Kingdom looked for alternatives. 1/

Damn that's crazy, someone should probably take any action whatsoever, do you know anyone who works in government?

i remember when creating CSAM would mean your website was shutdown immediately and people not only wouldn't choose to hang out there but literally couldn't because again it was shutdown immediately

Local cops are just another arm of the feds.

Yeah, it has long been the case that adult-oriented businesses have to be careful or risk the wrath of everyone from prosecutors to payment-processing companies, but "prominent social media company owned by world's richest person swiftly became world's largest CSAM producer" produces no reaction.

You gonna, y'know, do anything about, y'know, any of this shit?

The wisdom of Mr. Rogers is eternal:

We interrupt our regularly scheduled Star Trek for something that made me laugh for a solid 3 minutes.

for real

You couldn't publish this today. You'd have to cloak it under several layers of metaphor.

Great Value Satan

Yes, hello? I don’t think 2026 is working properly. I’d like to cancel my free 5 day trial please.

The rogue fascist administration MUST lie to us in the correct order as soon as possible this week (no worries if not)

Oh my god

Reminder for everyone operating at situationally-diminished capacity.

They're still fighting over who gets the 20th Century, and they're burning the 21st Century for fuel to do it

thinking about PSY, who was right

Thank god Chuck Schumer isn’t alive to see this.

Jesus Christ

Come on man, you can just condemn this shit on its own merits, the affordability talking point is, at best, a non sequitur.

Stop calling it war. These are terrorist attacks being committed by the US government. Every foreign nation should be lining up sanctions.

This is a good time to actually be honest about the country.

FIFA is going to be very disappointed when they wake up

Just once I'd like to wake up to people freaking out for good reasons

Just woke up even angrier. Impeach, convict, remove. Draft articles now. Either we have a representative government or we don’t. Do not shut up about this until there’s a vote.

the ICC has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

I just don't understand why Netflix hates money.

I know I’m probably just a foolish Luddite, but I am pretty sure we can do without plagiarism and misinformation machines that generate horrible sex crimes for the amusement of rape aficionados.

Last Christmas, my child was in a residential treatment facility for a little-known neurological eating disorder called ARFID, so we missed @allelitewrestling.com's Christmas show at the Hammerstein Ballroom. This Christmas they're healthy, so we went. I wrote about all this for @defector.com.

"Six-piece Chicken McNobody" is hands-down THE most withering insult known to man

I got asked if I had any Fantastic Four puns. I handed them a segment of Reed Richards. They said that was a bit of a stretch.

wait I didn’t know this??????? I thought it was just like “Ol’ Mississippi”???? hooooly shit I mean my best friend taught there for 10 years during the “do we take down the huge racist statue at the front gate y/n” battle so I have no illusions but I did NOT know that was the origin of the name

I had the thought during the worst of the pandemic that “not wanting your countrymen to die unnecessary deaths” was the lowest imaginable bar for patriotism. And yet.

This is correct, and to piggyback on it, I think it’s impossible to have a national identity around personal responsibility. We are responsible for each other, and that is the barrier for entry for being an American.

fuck it HURTS that I understand this

aloof wife / mayor boyfriend

They're prepping folk for the fields, the mines, and never being able to arrive at a conclusion beyond "plausible as long as you don't care to know more." And y'all defend their exploiting workers in the global south, squandering finite resources, and actively poisoning human habitats to do so.

I called this “The Orville Peck Principle.“ I did not get on the Internet one day explicitly looking for a masked queer cowboy to start crooning at me, but guess what? It was exactly what I fucking needed.

And your early retirement?

"Place frozen pizza directly on middle rack" place your mouth directly on my middle balls! I'm using a pan!

Were 90s kids clamoring for a Batman cartoon with 1930s Art Deco aesthetics? Is that what the market demanded? Or did some really smart creative people have a vision and make a genre-defining hit that sustained 20 years of TV shows? If you want success look for vision, not just metrics.

Happy New Year! 🎉 Walking into 2026 like Victor Laszlo ... 🗃️ #HATM www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOli...

It’s been real gang

And to Tiny 2025, who DID die, the little rat bastard,