I hope Gen Z discover Tales from the Crypt on Shudder this summer and realize how dystopian the America of today is compared to when we had a zombie muppet yell at us and call us “Boils” and “Ghouls”. He’s a good guy, he’d be woke now and probably add “and non-DIEnary fiends”

Bill Maher not used to hearing people laugh

@ahhhhhlt.bsky.social what happened to your main account?

the people who lie about this shit are absolute vampires and society would improve measurably if we just starting putting stakes through their hearts instead of what we do now

how did I just find out they call Hikuleo "Talla Tonga"

I refuse to take the fertility decline seriously until the borders are open and they start welcoming migrants. Until then just seems like white supremacist panic

me when i get shot

politically correct with bill maher

Announcement: chat jipiti

And once again, Happy May Day

Stephen A. Smith? The guy who last week told his co-worker live on national television that her French accent turns him on? That tracks.

They think you're stupid

Bluesky, famous for our refusal to ever blame Chuck Schumer.

Board at the Timberwolves game advertising #WWE “Blacklash” 😬

marie gluesenkamp perez rn:

these fellows certainly look like they know what they're talking about, best to take their advice

Good news! You can buy hot rotisserie chickens with SNAP benefits now, which you could not do before now for some insanely stupid reason Bad news: you are no longer eligible for SNAP benefits

Barry Bonds, noted American League great.

if laws were enforced this would be a good start

maybe bro should consider writing a story with a satisfying ending

I don't live in Maine and the federal government is one person now, so the deaths head guy ain't my problem

Oh, she's gonna destroy an insurance giant? What does she think Aetna is, an 8-year old boy who paints his nails?

which stage of democracy is this

The Two Trumps

Druski gave her such a complex that she dresses like antifa now

Shout-out to the Bond movies for making an evil tech founder a super-villain back in 1985, at least 25-30 years before the rest of us caught on.

his name is Hasan Piker but I've never seen him utilize a pike

This👇🏽 deserves to be posted 100 times but I’d be labeled spam.

Hasan this, Hasan that, do you Hasan other thing to complain about bro shut the fuck up

The owner of Zorro Ranch? Don Huffines, GOP nominee for Texas Comptroller.

nxt is on the cw because it's a content warning for bad wrestling

We should regard people who make pro-smoking arguments exactly the same as anti-vaxxers.

getting addicted to the holographic video game from Star Trek The Next Generation where the Bugles snack chips suck up wafers was probably cool as hell, sign me up for that shit

He wants an eternity to know your flesh. That's pretty much it. Feel like you could have just asked Clive about that one and saved everyone some time.

🧽+⭐=🦪?

when you realize this is the average median voter, all the online debates about "why kamala lost" go out the window

Fancy a laugh? Google translate "a baby seal pushed me yesterday" into French then click listen. You won't be prepared enough.

is there any better metaphor for the democratic party than an old man on his deathbed trying to impede progress

During his meeting with King Charles, Trump reportedly showed a dead wasp he had found to the King: "Isn’t that interesting?" 🤣 #Trump #DonaldTrump #POTUS #FLOTUS #Melania #DozyDon #KingCharles #QueenCamilla #WhiteHouse

this is so important

yeah, you put one of my posts there and my mentions got filled with bad replies

reminder that Gemini will not plainly answer who won the 2020 election

“Nick Khan and Triple H are using AI for storylines with the WWE" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Some pretty crazy stuff that somehow didn’t make it on the air.