even many years into a relationship it’s important to surprise your partner. I just surprised my partner with 20 seconds of sexy interpretive dance while brushing my teeth & when I said “are you into this” he surprised me by saying “absolutely not please spit that out and come to bed”

I don't mind blocking Swifties as it's super easy, but I really can't name a single musician I'd act like that for. Not even the ones I know personally! Oh you think @paulandstorm.bsky.social are complete shit? Okay! Sorry P&S but I'm too busy playing pinball & getting high to defend your honor

Good news! the label maker is charged so I was able to make this year’s neighborhood plum brandy without accidentally using the vodka we infused with habañeros

Taylor Swift is bad at singing, songwriting, and playing instruments but I don’t think she’s evil or anything. That said I do rank her wedding guests at the same level of the comedians that went to Riyadh. Like have some self respect Also she’s a billionaire so actually she is evil lmao

Listicles today are all TEN MOVIES TO WATCH ON THE 4TH OF JULY and it’s Jaws, Independence Day, and eight movies about how awesome America is

not seeing the issue here

Happy Pickle Beer day to all who celebrate

Tour de France teams are funny. I’m rooting for Build-a-Bear/Bank of Saudi Arabia

Finally watched Obsession and it was very enjoyable besides the guy behind us who wouldn't stop talking about how one minor plot point was a HIPAA violation, which made the whole film unbelievable for him. My man. There's a magic wish stick.

I emailed The Onion bc after two months I hadn't received my Infowars rainbow onion tote and within like 48 hours they sent me TWO OF THEM. I'm still recovering from this level of customer service, which I never got from Alex Jones. Alex Jones never sent my anti-gay-frog pills

Announcement: I have decided to get into the Tour de France. This is the next natural stage* of my evolution as a cyclist over the past two decades. It was inevitable after my most recent long group ride, during which I finally learned and appreciated why cyclists wear tall socks. 🙏 🚴‍♀️ #bikesky *lol

For some reason, June was "Study Proves Giant Vehicles Are Terrible for Humanity" Month. Here's a video (+transcript) going over a few of them 🧪 skepchick.org/2026/07/gian...

In case you were wondering, hasbarists have not updated their messaging in light of the entire world seeing Israel blow up babies and famous turtle conservationists. It's still just "antisemitism!!!"

Ready for some GOOD NEWS about US congress critters actually standing up for science? The Trump admin tried to dismantle a crucial ocean monitoring system & two senators stopped them 🧪 skepchick.org/2026/07/how-...

personally I think it's important to never stop trying to educate nazis www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMBr...

we have 3 months to launch a nonprofit that gives assault rifles to trans children. trust me, this worked on Reagan

Angry commenters on this video, ranked by how angry they are: 3.) people who hate monsanto 2.) people who love monsanto 1.) people who noticed the typo in the thumbnail

The Supreme Court has been pumping out a lot of bad decisions, but their ruling in favor of Bayer(/Monsanto) and Roundup has at least one silver lining 🧪 skepchick.org/2026/06/is-t...

YouTube just recommended a video to me of a guy talking to camera intercut with visuals. I was playing it in the bg when I noticed he said "woke up at 9 inches" instead of "9am." When it happened again I looked closer. The entire thing, including the guy, was AI. 80k views. Fucking nuts.

Israel purposely murdered a woman who dedicated her life to protecting endangered sea turtles and raising a generation of conservationists in Lebanon. skepchick.org/2026/06/isra...

I was explaining something to my husband and a few minutes in I got a text message. it was this picture and he said “I can’t pay attention to what you’re saying when you guys look like this”

have you even tried teaching an animal buttons youtu.be/UAQy3uh2mJQ

genuinely gutted that Rob Reiner isn't here to appreciate this

To answer the number one question, yes, I did give him another chance. When we actually did get into bed he didn’t want to fuck bc I wasn’t on birth control. He wanted to know if I could get some, at 1am on a Saturday. I kicked him out of my apartment. And yes, he was very good looking. So.

I once got stood up on a first date and the guy called me that night begging for another chance. He said he had to go to urgent care but wouldn’t say why. Finally he admitted that in anticipation of a successful date, he Naired his balls, fell asleep, and woke up with chemical burns.

brb turning into the joker

Yet another Steam sale where I open the shop, click around a bit, and realize that all I want is to "Eternal Sunshine" my brain and restart FTL from the beginning

ok tbh I forget about this stuff but I did appeal the mstdn ban and never got a follow up email so sorry for people who prefer that place to this place. I assume at some point I can migrate to a better server but I haven't had the energy to figure that out as I'm still catching up from the ride/cold

Tonight I made a red curry stir fry but realized we’re out of coconut milk so I added not-enough yogurt. The heat from the dish was so intense I poured myself a shot of vodka. Upon taking said shot I realized that was the vodka we infused with habaneros. My husband is laughing like this is funny

mainstream news: degenerate lefties have infiltrated the democratic party and are burning it down from the inside!!! me:

Last week I made a video about perfectionism & the fear of failure, using as an example my own failures training for a 6-day bike trip that raised money for climate action. Today I learned that Lael Wilcox just had to stop her round-the-world ride bc of a heatwave www.instagram.com/p/DZ2PmulCU65/

It's 2026 there is absolutely no reason why I can't just buy tickets to a concert without using multiple browsers and devices and then still not being able to get them because the website is so overwhelmed that I can't put in my payment info. I am trying to give you money why won't you just take it

genuinely angry I did not think of "Gwenocide" first

In the past, Gwyneth Paltrow has promoted eggs you stick in your vagina, ozone you blast up your asshole, and bee stings as medicine. This month, she managed to reach a new low. Her latest product? Drone strikes on Palestinian children. skepchick.org/2026/06/gwyn...

Season 2 of Sugar has dropped, which means that from here on out spoilers are allowed. Consider this your last warning to watch S1 unspoiled bc the twist is so genuinely hilariously fucked up you WILL get fomo when this becomes a cult classic and you weren’t there at the beginning

In '24, 1 of the docs at my dog's vet left. Then I learned the clinic was bought by private equity. A few months ago the other doc left. At his last annual exam they said his teeth cleaning would cost $15k (no extractions). Just got an email: they've reduced hours bc of staffing shortages. Sigh.

Recently, we all found out that Peter Thiel has a secret society of powerful people who get together to control the world. Here's why that is not, in fact, surprising skepchick.org/2026/06/pete...

My street shares a talented contractor. I just ran into a neighbor who said he needs him to paint his house. I said "I think we're next on his list for our house." He balked & asked when I got my estimate. I said "Estimate? Oh, I told him I'd just pay whatever he wants." He got so mad ha ha ha

OK now that he's gone, I'd just like to say that "Keir Starmer" is the name of a lead antagonist in an Indiana Jones movie. How'd he get anywhere with that evil ass name? He's trying to get his hands on the god damn Ark of the Covenant

Love Island US is unique in that every other trash dating show is mostly white Republicans but Love Island only allows one white person at a time and they always look like an offensive stereotype of a white person

open letter to the guy who puts the sku sticker over the holes on the apples: bruh what are you doing. you don't get paid enough to do that for them

Recently, fans discovered that one of the guys on the podcast I used to co-host is a deranged genocidal Zionist. Despite this & despite the past year of Epstein revelations showing I've always been 100% honest about all of this, this guy showed up in the comments to say he STILL doesn't believe me

I’m still a bit sickly but in one year I’ve managed to take 11 minutes off my round-the-block regular bike ride. 15%! Judging by the (likely inaccurate) calorie difference, it wasn’t just that I’m more confident flying down the hills. #bikesky

Finally saw Spielberg's latest, Disclosure Day. Minor spoiler alert: In the 2nd act, someone has a knife & could use it to end the movie an hour early, but they're thwarted. This is a subtle nod to the fact that a good editor could have saved this movie by cutting out a solid 60 minutes of garbage

It's such a self-own when people cry "#thathappened" on relatively simple but clever bon mots. It tells me you have no one in your life with a shred of comedic instinct, and in my experience clever people tend to prefer the company of other clever people >_>

My delightful neighbor needed to harvest her plum tree this AM, so I took my husband over to help. As he cleared the branches, I asked her if she was doing anything fun for Juneteenth. She said she was already celebrating by making her white neighbor pick fruit for her 💀

Republicans are blaming Biden for screwworm infecting US cattle 70 years after we eradicated it. But it was Trump who declared "open borders" for parasites that make your hamburgers more expensive skepchick.org/2026/06/trum...

it’s a me

Showing early ER seasons to my husband as part of a lecture series on pop culture called “why I am this way.” Yes, much of it is about Ross & Hathaway but also we just paused bc William Sanderson showed up & I needed to detour to Bob Newhart

At that point in the head cold where I have the occasionally coughing fit and I'm more tired than I would prefer, but my brain is at around 85%, I'm getting excited about all the shit I'm about to get done in the next week, and on my bike ride today I fired off some truly satisfying snot rockets.