One guy tried, unsuccessfully, to blow up a plane with a bomb in his sneakers, and everybody had to take off their shoes at the airport for the next 20 years. Chatbots have a collective body count equal to Richard "The Night Stalker" Ramirez, and they're trying to put them in schools.

Trump just issued threats to attack Mexico, Cuba, Colombia, Iran, Venezuela (again), and Greenland (which would be an attack on all of NATO).

I just thought about hacky sacks tonight. Been a good 39 year run with my mind space hacky sack free.

What about if you arrest the winner and have a Sharpie?

Odds that this person's last name rhymes with "Dump"?

Shout out to the people still using the obvious AI voice for their voice overs when better more natural voices exist. You are the reason I can scroll away immediately.

This. Cannot overstate the weariness from every product I buy, every interaction I have, every website I visit, every place I go, and every service I already pay to use turning into a vehicle for advertising about unrelated bullshit

sam altman is just a sales guy with one goal: getting obscenely rich in silicon valley. his big thing previously was an app where you can find your friends on a map and after he sold it it turned out to have 500 users. he's not a stemlord he's just a run of the mill song and dance flim flam man

It’s done: The four MTV UK/Europe music channels have shut down. But they went out cheekily. Final song on MTV Music was “Video Killed the Radio Star,” natch. youtu.be/9hqJ9Fe-FeQ?...

Blustery night in San Francisco. Lots of wind on chime action.

[somberly] You cannot serve both god and money [upbeat music hits] Until now. Introducing god as a service

This is the Holiday Taint. Luxuriate in the taint.

Chocolate oranges are great for when you want to thwack something on your counter and eat part of it and go "hmm" and put the rest back in the cabinet

Hear me out - Children’s show idea Breaking Bad Babies Walt & Jesse are back at it in the prequel nobody asked for. But this time they’re toddlers cooking meth. Hilarity ensues. Streaming on Disney+ this summer.

OMG, Bari Weiss just did a network kill switch to the longest running broadcast investigative journalism show in network television history. Unbelievable. Long live PBS Frontline. Please everyone, contribute to PBS. Don’t let broadcast investigative reporting and journalism be censored and die.

you don't see many debates about batman's nipples anymore but pepperidge farm remembers

Bari Weiss is going to utterly destroy CBS News’ credibility—and ratings—which i guess is the point www.nytimes.com/2025/12/21/b...

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Full story about what's going on at CBS News: www.cnn.com/2025/12/21/m...

A modern day Hanukah update during the San Francisco blackout this weekend. I was at 17% battery when the Sunset Dist went dark. Maybe enough battery power to last for an hour But A MIRACLE - it lasted eight hours. J/K the thing drained to nothing within five minutes of light use #SanFrancisco

My current fave jam #BMFS youtu.be/ZCtQdALo9DI?...

The Big San Francisco Power Outage By The Numbers 130,000 w/o power 8.5 hours and counting 1/4 cup of Walnuts eaten 1 small bowl of Chicharrones eaten 8 times I’ve tried to turn on the kitchen light & shouted DAMMIT 4 times I’ve thought “I should turn on the tv” 3 Inktobers drawn 1 confused cat

Let’s play everyone’s favorite game show - Big Truck or Earthquake… Survey says… Big Truck. Thanks for playing.

I had a blast editing this A Day In The Life of an Exhibit Preparatory for Cal Academy of Sciences. Check it out. youtu.be/tXnbpygHlos?...

He'll start a war to: 1. Distract from the Epstein Files 2. Steal oil 3. Justify emergency powers 4. Justify use of the AEA for deportation/internment 5. Help the drug lord he just pardoned

Dear SAN FRANCISCO, I don’t want to sound like I’m begging you to hurry it up, and get your tickets to my NEW YEAR’S EVE show at The Palace of Fine Arts, because Im not, but Jesus it’s starting to feel like Peter Brady’s hero party. www.purplepass.com/events/33288...

Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It's not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.

all i'm saying is that there were better options

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At what point did being completely wrong start counting as an “opinion”? Claiming vaccines cause autism isn’t an opinion. It’s utter bullshit. And then they say, “Well, that’s my opinion, you have to respect it.” No. I don’t have to respect stupidity. Fuck off.

Indianapolis Star, November 22, 1918

This should be the biggest story in the country right now. The sitting US President was extorting state lawmakers from his own party by threatening to withhold public money if they didn’t gerrymander for him. I don’t know how else to say it…

I am dead serious when I say that if one of the most vulnerable people in the country can do this with the right allies, no fight in American politics is completely hopeless.

Rich Dipshit Says Something is like 80% of news articles these days

( •_•) (•_• ) ( ง )ง vs ୧( ୧ ) /︶\ /︶\ Time to set Walk on up new health Lego pile insurance plan barefoot

I believed in god until 3rd grade when my teacher told me there was no Santa Claus. Then i was like… oh ok, so all these mfs are liars. Got it

PSA: if anyone in your life is trying to dissuade you from getting the shingles shot, you should probably assume that person hates you, and wants you to suffer. There is literally no other explanation. Shingles hurts worse than childbirth. Worse than knee surgery. Worst pain of my life.

All media mergers end up hurting writers, actors, directors, and everyone else who works in the industry. Executives, assistants, caterers, teamsters, everyone. Fewer companies means fewer jobs, period.

I've invented a game, kind of! It's my version of Pokemon Go!, but for broke weirdos with no data connection. Instead, I take a walk and watch the list of wifi networks on my phone, then challenge myself to identify which homes they belong to. It's actually fun as hell!

Wait, does he think the fog of war is literally smoke?

As in so many things, the British public is wrong.

Just as horrifying: I polled my students a couple years ago and almost all of them admitted to watching the movies I assigned them at 2x the speed!

apparently the two turkeys pardoned by Trump have been arrested for committing a number of other crimes

(TV Ad) "Have psoriasis? "Yes" "Want to be able to leave the house? "I leave the house all the time" "But ur a hideous monster" "It's just dried sk.." 'HIDEOUS MONSTER" "I barely think about it" "LEPER" "It's nothing" "FREAK" "Freak?" "MUTANT!" "Mutant?" "GET UR SELF ESTEEM BACK WITH OTEZLA™️"