Thank you President Trump without your intercession the USMNT may have lost 5-1.

Senator Mitch McConnell (R-Eternal Darkness)

Early morning press conference at the Whitehouse.

USMNT invited to White House event where President Trump can congratulate team and denaturalize Balogun.

Well, we may have lost but at least we look like we cheated

Belgium is currently leading the USMNT 4-1 at the end of regulation but the mailed-in goals haven't been counted yet.

mr president have you considered perhaps attending a few yankees games sir

President Trump announces that after the World Cup finals he will still present the trophy to the USMNT.

In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court reverses U.S. vs Belgium.

We’re one day closer to Trump leaving office (one way or another).

If only Graham Platner had known about all these terrible things he has done.

Mitch McConnell is the new Strait of Hormuz

troubling ........ not content to simply get Folarin Balogun back from his red card suspension, the FOX desk is talking about how the USA playing in Seattle will provide them a "12th man" in tonight's game tonight. this of course would be a massive breach of FIFA rules and regulations

Mitch McConnell to be moved to the Reflecting Pool for emergency algae treatment.

Bonkers

When you ask my opinion on whether to buy a cashmere sweater

With the latest sexual assault allegation, if Graham Platner does drop out he’s got an inside track to join the Trump cabinet.

Maine Democrats begin canvassing possible replacement Senate candidates with Nazi tattoos.

Susan Collins lobbies FIFA President Gianni Infantino to reverse any decision by Graham Platner to suspend his Maine Senate campaign.

seeing all the trump-FIFA stuff and i’m making the call to root, anti-colonially, for Belgium. now to look up anything they ever did just to make sure,

Sen. McConnell is communicating with staff via ouija board.

Sen. McConnell is ‘continuing his recovery’ in the afterlife.

France to President Trump:

Steely Danish

FIFA President Gianni Infantino defends his actions, saying he’s willing to corrupt the appeals process on behalf of any country if the price is right.

President Trump announces that when Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito retires he will nominate as his replacement FIFA President Gianni Infantino.

I hope her cousin's friend's balls are doing okay.

data visualization is my passion.

In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court incorporates “lol we can do whatever we want” clause of FIFA regulations into Article II of the U.S. Constitution.

FIFA referee to be investigated for mortgage fraud.

The famous Strait of Hormuz nobody ever heard of.

This time tomorrow, we'll be prosecuting the Belgian national team for vandalizing the reflecting pool liner.

Heirbnb.

In a controversial ruling, FIFA President Infantino finds that there is no algae in the Reflecting Pool.

In a 6-3 ruling, the Supreme Court allows Infantino to keep his job.

President Trump shouldn’t meddle in sports and stay in his lane, graft and killing people.

As in 1066 England will prevail against the Norwegians before tragically losing to the French a couple of weeks later.

President says that during his call with FIFA President Infantino he simply asked him to find the 11,780 votes needed to overturn the Balogun suspension.

We’re one day closer to Trump leaving office (one way or another).

Mexico can still win if Infantino has the courage.

England’s biggest win since World War II.

way to go ted lasso nice job

England is currently leading Mexico 2-1 at the half but the mail-in goals haven't yet been tallied.

“We just hope everyone has a good time.”

The United States has both a New England and a New Mexico so is officially neutral with respect to this match.

And I'm proud to be a Canadian Where at least I know poutine’s free

I absolutely believe the women’s team can cheat just as well as the men and that’s what makes me an ally