Thank you for being a lunatic during this difficult time.

You know what's even less than finite? A finite for a limited time only deal from the drive thru of what we can handle.

great work guys

if i wake up in pain i wasn't in when i went to sleep, i just assume i fought the monster under the bed. clearly i won, because it's gone

I just got a DM from the US Government calling me four-eyes and asking for my lunch money

With the newest wave of right-wing creeps coming in to troll, I want to remind everyone of the most important thing here. Blocks are very powerful on Bluesky. Not only do they get blocked, but the replies they leave on your posts gets hidden so they can’t argue in the comments. Block the fuckers.

Not to brag but I got a full 8 hours of over-thinking

i wish there was an automatic car wash but for your body. lemme just walk through the shower and get soap sprayed all over me

I won't tell people if one of my shiposts goes viral, but there will be signs

Back when posting was good

This is not a child.

If you’re new to Bluesky, the only thing you need to know is that we go by prison rules so you have to go find the biggest account that you can and kill them to gain respect

it's hard to see this kind of violence in our streets

"I was married but I'm not married anymore. Women don't like the vehicle."

Be sure to leave the bathroom door open to let in the WiFi.

u look like u need a cat picture

It's weird how nobody ever talks about the fact that we all hear incredibly loud discordant high-tempo circus music in our heads at all times

man i freaking love Bob Dylan

The greatest Halloween post in the history of microblogging websites or certainly the greatest of the last 100 years

i'm slebby

I'm heading to the red spot later y'all need anything while I'm there maybe some poop catchers, lide, gledge, walways, n & n's, srittles, baked says or mow chips maybe

sidebar — posts suck when they’re not done for love of the game anyways

"but brit, that's not funny; it's how catturd makes a living 🥺" ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

it costs $0 to be kind, to compliment someone, to help someone. if you can do something nice for someone you can just go ahead and do it. you’ll both be better for it.

maybe the real treasure was the cheese we ate along the way

at work I’ve started jokingly saying “we’re like a society here” when someone starts talking about it being like a family

chekhov's bluesky account would have been 🔥

“RE-PR-SENT-A-TIVE!!!”

i really really love the bluesky swiftie community, everyone is always so sweet and supportive and there's hardly ever any drama 🥰❤️

you know bluesky is for 38-year-olds because the website takes a little nap in the early afternoon

guess i'm sleeping on the couch tonight

i love pop music i will not be apologizing.

make him president

poobing and farding

"hey are you a fucking loser? Well boy do I have some bullshit for you!"

look i made it the 1979 ibm warning

I'm sorry, is the Trump Administration talking to a tech platform? Is it...requesting content moderation?

waaaaahhhh waaaaaahhh i don't wanna work

this meeting needs a jump to recipe button

Already today, Israel has: -Conducted a drone strike on Khan Younis in Gaza -Shot & wounded two others near Khan Younis -Killed 5 Palestinians in Gaza City -Fired on & wounded a several others near Jabalia All in violation of the “ceasefire.”

reminder to stop arguing with randos on this app - block and move on! your energy is a luxury.

WHO'S PORTRAIT'S ON THE MANTEL? WHO COVERED UP YOUR SCANDALS? MISTAKE MY KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS AND FIND YOUR CARD CANCELLED

Tropes are good

Idk, ever since the release I have such a bad taste in my mouth about the people insulting others in the name of being a swiftie. You can be a swiftie if you don’t worship every single thing she does. And that’s ok. And pretty healthy to not worship everything one single person does.

*hovering over you like a ghostly apparition* what do you mean you thought my scones were a little dry

when the title is also a line in the poem