Vote em out

Don't talk back to your Grandpa Bill just go fuckin do it

Hey friend ❤️Wow! Looks like you’ve been arguing online with the stupidest fucking people imaginable. Have a hug 🫂 There’s still a lot of sensible, sweet people who agree with you and I’m proud of you 🙏 Take a little break. Play with your cats. Get a snack. Drink some water.

Rightwingers be like “umm i’d bet you’d feel differently if it was [describes completely different scenario having nothing to do with this one] wouldn’t you? Hmmm?”

Jacob Frey: "To ICE -- get the fuck out of Minneapolis"

ICE just murdered a US citizen. Straight up murdered. If you exist, they can kill you and there is no accountability, there is no justice, there is no one stopping them. Your rights mean nothing and you should be very very angry (if you weren't already)

Freeloader

GO GO GO

If Dems talked like this regularly, we wouldn't have to focus on "how to win close elections in difficult environments." We would have a lot fewer close elections, and a lot fewer difficult environments.

Happy Normal Nothing Happened and No Cops Were Murdered Day

You know, on the list of “Reasons Why What Trump is Doing is Wrong” I gotta say “if we don’t stop our dependency on oil our whole planet is fucked” seems insanely low on the totem pole.

If you ever want to know if someone works in an office just play the Outlook notification noise near them. If they start shaking and throwing up they work in an office 😊

Just gonna being this up real quick

“No war” President

Me: *walks into sperm bank* Person at front desk: “get a load of this guy”

The year of the fuck up!

Me: “they should make a donut/bagel store called HOLE Foods haha” *FBI violently breaks down my door and shoots me to death*

Well alrighty then!

I am once again asking you to not fall for what is obviously a billionaire hatched plot to make us even MORE docile and defenseless

Woke up to “trump orchestrated baby murder” today. It’s always something with this fuckin guy

“Ai can help us learn so much” -the stupidest fucking person you’ve ever met

The Beach Boys: “Let’s write a song about Santa Claus but make him small” Me every Christmas: “oh fuck yeah turn up this banger”

When we find the smoking gun in the files I don’t want to hear any of the republicans officials be like “i didn’t know” you’re evil ass is going straight to the goulash with him bitch

Ooohhhhh yeeeaaahhh

the other good news about jake paul getting his jaw broken is maybe he'll stfu for 5 minutes

So like…..bill clinton should DEFINITELY be in prison right?? (Like I know trump should he’s a convicted felon and definitely a pedophile) but like the clinton photos are craaaaazy bad

It is completely legal to hope that the president gets Final Destinationed in some hilarious way

(1/2) The moment someone says “the civil rights movement was a mistake” YOU are supposed to make the rational decision to dismiss that person entirely. You’re not supposed to say “okay but tell me more? What do you mean?” Like no you stupid fuck that is a objectively racist and evil thing to say.

“Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin beat” is a crazy tough line to sing whoever wrote this (i assume frosty the snowman drunk off Hennessy) was spitting fire

CW

Trump has been saying for years "Let's just go take the oil" it's not subtle like at all. www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRpG...

When the lady I buy my breakfast from sees me I bet she probably thinks "there he is. there's that guy with the most amount of cat hair you can possibly fit on a coat."

I’ve realized lately i’ve been googling way too many things and i’m not retaining any information. I don’t know how to fix this. I tried googling what to do but I don’t remember what it said.

Please don’t let jared leto ruin Skeletor like he does every other roll he’s ever been in ever??? Like why tf would he be in that movie??

"LIBRALS HAVE TDS" Hell yeah my dudes I love The Daily Show

Trump making jokes about Rob Reiner and his wife after they were fucking m u r d e r e d is one of the pettiest, sleaziest, absolute sack of shit moves I have ever seen. I do not want to hear anyone on the right complaining about charlie kirk jokes ever again.

☂️

how is this anything but terrorism? "Do what we say or we'll take away your resources" like wtf

The Supergirl trailer looks siiiiiiiiiiiiick

logging on

Daily reminder that anyone who grew up in NYC and has critical thinking skills has long known trump to be a con man and not even a very good one. You have to be one of the stupidest, easy to pickpocket, snake oil buying, just bought a time share ass suckers to actually believe anything he says.

WHOOOA

Referring to it as an "E-guitar" near my guitarist just to feel something

If you're device makes the Outlook notification noise in public I just want to say THANKS FOR THE PTSD ON MY DAY OFF

Nook and Kindle are such lame names. Like Electric Book is right there and up for grabs.

Oh y’all are merging? So i only have to pay for one of you now right?…………….right?……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..right?

Me at trivia: “I hope my knowledge of comic books helps me tonight” Host: “Who was the 9th US president?” Me: “dang”

Seems legit

I could think of at least 4 unnecessary letters in the word "queue"

An episode of Smallville where I.C.E is sent to Kent Farms because they can’t believe the Kent family can tend to 12+ acres of land by themselves and think they’re harboring immigrants. I.C.E.: “So you just plow a dozen acres before sunset? Everyday” Clark: *uppercuts ice agents head into space*