The moment I set foot on a bus my loyalty is to that bus driver so if you cut them off just know I’m team bus driver 😤

The new york post be like “Zohran HUSSEIN Mamdani 😤😤😤”

O:

Godzilla??? Big if true

Me: “RISE AND GRIND LET’S GET THIS BREAD!” Werner Herzog narrating: “but he would in fact be getting very little bread. This optomistic proverb is often merely a sort of battle cry for people going to jobs that do not provide sufficient income for the level of work being exchanged”

@corybooker.com is more useless than a parka in the summer.

“There he goes. There goes that man who has never ironed a shirt a day in his life” -anyone seeing me at any given time

There was a good chance I was gonna see He-man but you put jared leto in it! Why would you do that??? Stop putting him in things! He is BAD. It is that simple. You put jared leto in it = I’m not gonna watch it. The same thing happened with that new Tron movie.

I know it's already been said a lot but it is so fucking funny that trump boasts about "acing" a test they only give you when they think your cognition is noticeably declining. Then further be like "Why haven't other presidents had to take the Prove-my-brain-still-work-good test hmmmm??" hilarious.

I want to do small things to fight back against authoritarianism but the problem is every time I ask people to help I sound like I’m reading an fbi informant’s script “Would you guys like to do some graffiti?” “Hey chums! We should find and destroy flock cams” I’m just polite it’s a disease

Bands be like “we should work on our stage banter” and then 5 minutes later it’s like “okay wait so when do I throw the pie?”

It’s a good thing that Dio’s stand could only stop time and not something serious like summon a tiny shark in your mouth

Oh boy!

Work deadass be like “leave your family for 8 hours to come look busy or we’ll take away your healthcare. Lawl”

“I have an IQ of-“ you have already lost whatever conversation you are having at this point

It's only a matter of time really

The democratic party is simply not far left enough. I don't see anyone talking about free health care, free college, abolishing private prisons, fighting climate change, lowering our military budget, taxing billionaires, fighting molopolies, reperations, forest preservation, housing homeless, ect

I do love that he keeps conning you gullible fucks

Just swimming by to say hello.

Me after several drinks: “We did not deserve how good the first Spider-Man movie was “

Doesn't hurt to know where they are :)

Every article right now is like “Is New York City the next Soviet Russia? We sat down with this land lord from Ohio to hear what he had to say”

In the book 1984, "the party" brainwashes people using a complex network of workers to carefully comb every article, book and photo to alter it so that it matches what Big Brother says to be true. In real life trump just goes "I never said that" and his stupid fucking supporters just go "YEAH!"

Read that hat again

When trump first ran, me and most New Yorkers knew about his past as a conman. It is common knowledge that he would regularly be in lawsuits for not paying workers or for breaking contracts or lying. This has not changed. What has surprised me in these years is how stupid the average American is.

You could not PAY ME to sign into linkedin

Rich people will dead ass be like “has you tried just having more money??”

Ai data centers are a lot like piñatas in that I want to destroy them

epsteins suicide note they just found probably: "I AM GONNA HANGED MYSELF BECAUSE I TRIED TO FRAME TRUMP 4 BEING A P3D0FILE BUT IT DIDN'T WORK HE IS THE GREATEST PRESIDENTE AND I CANNOT LIVE WITH THE SHAM GOOD BYE CRUEL WORDLE"

Oh is the met gala run by someone corrupt this year while also featuring a bunch of tone deaf celebrities? Crazy. Wow.

Trump: “I have released 88,000 feral, mutant, bloodthirsty, wolflike creatures into the streets to combat shoplifters” Democrats: “We need to RETRAIN these feral, mutant, bloodthirsty, wolflike creatures!”

Good morning have some stupid

Ever since high school, I've thought most of the worlds problems could be solved by the general pop having a better education/access to education and that's why things like turning-point and prager u scare me. Because they're actively trying to make people more stupid and more racist.

“We just sent you a verification code :)” Wow that’s crazy! Here I was thinking my FUCKING PASSWORD WAS THE VERIFICATION CODE 🤬 (Good morning)

Everyone google “stimulus check” until it gets on the news and then they have to send one. GO. DO IT NOW.

No one suggest this

no one: The offical whitehouse page for some reason:

I love gummy worms because they have all of the essential food groups: •worms •microplastics

When everything is super fucked up and you want to help, it's hard to pick a direction. Just try to make sure it's not down.

It's just cheaper this way

Okay if Disney is really firing 1,000 artists I am DONE with Disney. I’m talking never spending another penny. Disney will never work in this town AGAIN 🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️ Make sure they know. DON’T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT. This is the thing we care about this week 😤

FUCK

Pretty crazy how if I say “stupid hitler” we all know who I’m talking about

Nailed it

Netanyahu has prostate cancer. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA good. Hope he fuckin dies.

Focusing

"Oh yeah? Well how come [insert democrat president] never tried to solve [insert problem that didn't exist before trump took office]? hmmmm?"

PLEASE TAKE THIS EZ ACTION IF YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK STATE! 🙏❤️ A coalition of labor unions & progressive groups released a letter this AM urging Gov. Hochul to tax billionaires to help close NY budget gaps. YES!! Please ask everyone you know in NY to sign the petition to Hochul in the first comment.