Tom Homan has deleted Greg Bovino’s Disney+ profile on the DHS shared account

Hoping for some good news, the feral cats have already offered Kristi Noem a job.

This is how your email finds me, I am quite unwell

Vance has spent months yelling at Ukraine for not being nice enough to Trump, Europe for not tolerating far-right fascists, Canada for refusing our generous offer of statehood. So yes, we have built a foreign policy of hectoring, moralizing and lecturing. The man has the self-awareness of a turnip.

Donald Trump has unilaterally decided that one of America's largest media companies must be sold to one of his cronies. Here's why America has a liberal media bias problem.

My brother in law’s unit does critical satellite communications work, the literal backbone of the modern military, and I promise you they will not be getting “leaner and meaner” lol. Maybe their D&D characters will

This is such an insane thing for our country to be doing. It’s like a bad late night movie. Before Trump no administration would ever conceive of doing this.

Venezuela is a very very long way from the US. Boats under 10m are not trying to travel to the US. It makes zero sense.

Circumcised Husband (Taylor's Version)

Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting (College Students)

Send a platoon-sized element of attractive, tattooed women with dyed hair armed with enough drugs and alcohol to share and a willingness to have casual sex to the front lines of the 82nd Airborne and you will defeat them within 72 hours. I believe in you, Portland.

see how easy this is going to be

reminder: Jimmy Kimmel is enough of a mensch that he devised a segment on which actors who are just short of having enough work to qualify for union healthcare come on his show and deliver a single line of dialogue deadline.com/2024/07/jimm...

Remember this. The Nazis were defeated by geologists and car mechanics and school teachers and milkmen. Ordinary people from all over the world who risked their own lives to put the fascists in the ground where they belong.

pretty fun when you could just bash the shit out of gay and transgender people without a care in the world bit tougher now that commodities prices are collapsing and nobody wants to buy your soybeans my advice is to rethink your choices, but you won’t do that, so just go die i guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

blocked another rando lib for dropping AI art in my feed

Not great lawyer: my client was protesting the seeming occupation of the city Judge: bail 25k Ngl: he's fighting authoritarianism, he's part of J: don't you goddamn dare.. Ngl: Hoagies Heroes Judge: bail 30k, see me in my chamber

"What is the charge? Throwing a meal? A submarine sandwich meal?"

FBI agent to a woman getting a coffee: did u kill Jon Benet Ramsey Woman getting a coffee: no FBI agent: the hunt continues, sir did you-

guys it’s really not funny that the fbi agent took a footlong to the chest. stop laughing. it’s NOT FUNNY that an fbi agent in head to toe tactical gear tried to chase the guy who hucked a sandwich straight at his bulletproof vest but couldn’t outrun him

The pro-cancer administration.

[Penis Nickname Committee] DICK JOHNSON: how bout "wang" lol PETER WANG: or "johnson" haha DICK JOHNSON: *glares* or "peter" PETER WANG: *leans in* or "dick"

I reviewed THE FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS, which is outstanding stephensilver.substack.com/p/the-fantas...

Tapping the sign

traveling back in time 10 years to tell my past self that the wall street journal is the only paper to challenge a republican president and i am instantly shot dead by past self with a tommy gun. a previous time traveler has already altered 2015 to a chicago gangland timeline. the logic is confusing

You know how often your autocomplete is completely wrong? Good news, now it's in charge of what's safe to eat!

Democrats getting handed "The entire Republican Party stops governing to further the cover-up of the elite pedophile ring of which their leader, the President of the United States of America, was a prominent member" is like finding the Ark of the Covenant of political scandals

Overdosed on Gatorade and threw my dad like a football

lol, ordering some piñatas

every time i meet someone older than me who’s more successful i’m like “okay, well they’re older than me.” every time i meet someone younger and more successful i’m like “their dad must be the mayor”

Good news, turns out "Big Beautiful Bill" is actually just a guy the President has been imagining

Work requirements for Medicaid? How about mandatory weekly drug testing for government contractors? JFC

Musk looked blitzed out of his mind again

sitting in the icu right now and reminded of my least favorite song

@bubbaprog.lol Is it my imagination or are the NBA playoff feeds particularly garbage right now?

This is the autistic man who doesn’t date, play baseball, write poems, or pay taxes. RFK should try meeting some autistic people that aren’t talentless freaks who mail their cum to women from the internet.

Buster Posey adds a handlebar mustache tattoo to an index finger on the roster and suddenly they’re 11-4? Baseball is so funny

I'm going to start saying "art of the deal" every time I do something really stupid and then start backtracking

The lesson for universities is you may as well fight back. You'll lose the money either way. The only question is whether you keep your dignity.

Three separate but equal branches of government is cool but what if we tried One Terrible Guy?

Rumor: Trump not a complete fucking moron. Trump Press Release: The rumor that Trump is not a complete fucking moron was "fake news"

googling “will tariffs make my junk larger” and getting very disappointing results