Oh wow, the thing that literally everyone warned Trump's people would happen is happening, how crazy.

Here's a new one: Bessent claiming the US is benevolently letting Iran let tankers through Hormuz so the rest of the world will be "well-supplied." Sure thing, dude. www.cnbc.com/2026/03/16/u...

Second time in the last couple of innings the ump called a strike on a slider below the zone with 3 balls. DR fans should rightfully be very pissed off.

Oh no.

THE MIGHTY US MILITARY HAS COMPLETELY VANQUISHED THE ENEMY. WE HAVE ANNIHILATED HIM IN HIS BED. WE HAVE MADE OF HIM A VOID THAT SHALL NEVER AGAIN HARM THE FREE WORLD. WE JUST NEED EVERYONE ELSE TO DO US ONE TEENSY LITTLE FAVOR.

What a genius.

You don't send an entire Marine Expeditionary Unit because you're worried about a drone or two.

I keep hearing this in Mojo Jojo's voice.

🎵🎵🎵So I'll sneak like a cat, And hope, You don't catch The bourbon on my breath, my breath, my breath🎵🎵🎵

You have to have a good goddamn reason for these investigations and she goddamn well knows "Jerome Powell isn't lowering interest rates like Trump wants" is not a good goddamn reason.

IIRC, Walz supported a measure to study the feasibility of legalizing sports gambling sometime in the future. So he was in fact suggesting the state needed to anticipate problems before deciding what to do about gambling.

If you're conflating "Jewish people" with "the Jewish state" as if we're all one and the same, you're part of the problem.

The ODU shooter on Thursday was in this country long, long before Biden became president.

This might be one of the more pathetic displays I've seen from a high gov't official. So whiny. Worry about your soldiers, not about the headlines, Alpha Pete.

LOL, Tim Canova, there's a name from the past.

Hanoi and Saigon then spent several months arguing over the shape of the table before they even started negotiating on all the other issues, you boob.

Just reading the story in the Times the other day about these two kids made me want to punch them both, I'm afraid watching the videos will end with me buying a gun.

Here's what we do: take all the old surviving space shuttles out of storage, fill their cargo holds with oil, and then have them orbit the earth and land in America.

They say you have to spend money to make money, so if I'm paying $5 a gallon instead of $2 just so I can drive a few miles to my favorite sushi place, then, uh ... wait, this must make sense somehow.

"We're killin' all the right people and we're cuttin' your taxes."

Well sure, they get the money for nothing and the chicks for free.

Yep, that unconditional surrender is coming aaaaannnnnnnyyyyyy minute now.

Starring Haley Joel Osment's sister.

Look man, my depression is already bad enough.

Just once, I want a witness to say to Kennedy, "Senator, you went to Oxford, spare us all the dimwit Foghorn Leghorn routine."

Usually you plan for all these scenarios BEFORE you start bombing everything in sight, dipshits.

This is amazing stuff.

The ways in which Trumpists like Eagle Ed have tried to throw their weight around never fails to smack the old gob.

Ha ha, how delightful! You, Mr. President, are truly the greatest wit of the season!

Single people should start putting something about this in their dating profiles. "Oh ladies, do you want a man who can make you laugh and won't destroy Western civilization by ordering skim milk in his latte?"

Ooo, I love these sorts of hypotheticals. "What if Rick Scott was really a vampire? What would be the cost of not driving a stake through his heart?"

I do not say this lightly after watching this video: Lindsey Graham has always been a weaselly panic mongerer, but he's moved beyond that. Something has genuinely broken in his brain.

Oh no, now how will our children participate in the time-honored American tradition of drunkenly vomiting off a Daytona Beach balcony?

LOL, remember when he accused Kamala Harris of secretly planning to bring back the draft? As ever, accusation, confession, and so forth.

Hard to believe the Iranian people aren't rushing out into the streets that we have literally set on fire.

Bari called Nellie the funniest writer in America recently, to give everyone a sense of the level of humor in that house.

She's still DHS Secretary until March 31.

Okay.

Anyone else, I'd say this is a reasonable q, but Tapper's got such a long-standing reflexive "support the troops!" shtick that it's hard to see it as anything other than him circling the wagons at the cost of questioning what the troops are doing and why they're doing it in the first place.

As Robin Williams once said in the context of a different war, Sir, I believe you are in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history.

I can't get over him wearing that fucking hat like he's hitting up the omelet bar at Mar-a-Lago. What a weirdo.

And I hope I wake up tomorrow with my original hairline back, but life is full of disappointments.

Pffft, Pete, you gotta put your whole chest into it if you really want to sell it.

Dude has a 24/7 case of the Mondays.

I'm sorry, I misunderstood your instructions. I shouldn't have blotted out the sun and ushered in an age of eternal darkness. That was my mistake. But it's probably not irreversible. Let's talk about some ways you can fix it so that no one can blot out the sun in the future.

How long after he issues this order does he start saying that the NCAA should rename a bowl game after him? Is everyone ready for the Donald Trump Rose Bowl?

Hopping, sir.

This is such pathetic stuff from Ryan, it's sort of gobsmacking.

Appointing this woman Press Secretary was a war crime.

"Well, we're building hundreds of factories, so all sorts of jobs will soon be available." "But aren't there a ton of construction jobs now because of all that building?" "Well, you see--" *disappears in cloud of smoke*