of course, uh huh, makes sense, absolutely, naturally, wut

Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.

Should we all reintroduce our baseball allegiances for a quick refresher? No explanation. 1) Blue Jays 2) Your Toronto Blue Jays 3) Toronto 4) Vlad & Co 5) Whichever team has the jerkiest jerkiest left hander in all of baseball 6) Whoever’s currently busy ending the Yankees World Series dreams

First Mets win in the Mayor Mamdani Era

Tough when Fox News is doing this

🎶 Van Lingle Mungo 🎶

I fully support making Opening Day a national holiday, but also understand the obstacles (the date shifts, different teams open on different days, lesser sports will pout). There's an elegant solution: make April 15, Jackie Robinson Day, a National Holiday instead www.nytimes.com/live/2024/03...

It's Opening Day!!!! "That’s the thing about Opening Day. We get handed this beautiful present, these 2,430 games over 186 days, and today we open it up and see what’s inside. It’s never the same thing twice." www.joesheehan.com

currently booking a flight to toronto

finding out the opening game of the baseball season would be the yankees and the giants is for me personally like finding out the MCU was going to be built around Iron Man and Captain America

what is going on

it is, in fact, big ball chunky time

Baseball’s ongoing refusal to have one big splashy Opening Day with every team playing seems vexing and self-defeating! Anyway Happy Sort Of Opening Day to all those who celebrate ⚾️

Ask for Janice

trying to think of one single example — one — of an unqualified person claiming to be a disruptor put in charge of a large institution in the last decade who excelled and made the institution better

It’s the future, it’s inevitable, just accept it, it’s the way we will all be working very soon and there is no point in trying to oh wait it sucks, no one asked for it or wants it, and it’s shutting down forever.

Six months into Bari Weiss’ overhaul of CBS News, new ratings data obtained by Status shows its flagship programs are shedding viewers at an alarming rate, collapsing to historic lows and accelerating the network’s decline. Details in @status.news: www.status.news/p/cbs-news-r...

I’m at ICE HQ

I'm not a lawyer does lack of evidence impede your case www.washingtonpost.com/national-sec...

just wrote a dumb skeet, suspected it was dumb, confirmed it was dumb, then deleted before sending, please consider this a teachable moment

ahahahahahaha

Started/going

there's no conceivable way that having armed ICE agents in airports makes travel a) quicker or b) less stressful and unpleasant, this is perhaps the most spectacularly ill-conceived plan in the history of optics

this is what happens when you have an administration full of people who always fly on private planes

go ahead, start a band. yes, you. yes, even you. Start a Band, Even if You’re Terrible

how was I not included in this

chat is it based to order milk

Guy at the slightly snooty Brooklyn used book store bought 75% of the books we brought in and told us that we had good stuff and we should bring more if we’ve got it and for me that is really a top 5 compliment of my life

BREAKING: The Rapture happened

"What can I say: The internet used to be fun. And so did the movies. This is the simplest Chuck Norris fact of all." @sonnybunch.bsky.social remembers Chuck Norris: lnk.thebulwark.com/4m0GMsV

people's attention spans are shrinking and no one can sustain focus also: a novel was pulled from publication largely due to a 2 hour and 40 minute video expose of its AI content on YouTube that has a longer running time than PROJECT HAIL MARY www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbeK...

if you think about it soldiers are often running so half the time one boot is off the ground and then the other half the other boot is off the ground so the boots are fully off the ground 100 percent of the time so there really there aren't ever any boots on the ground at all

i like my blu-rays lined up on my shelf with the spines perfectly flush, and my books all over the fucking place looking like a crazy person arranged them, and i think this makes spiritual sense

how did this fail

i guess i should probably be clear about something: if you see me reposting my own jokes, it’s probably not for the reason you think. it’s because i want the post to get more likes, which makes me feel good

Democratic consultants: To replicate Mamdani’s success with the young people we must appeal to their short attention spans with memes and TikTok Mamdani (actual quote): In the fifth century in what we now know as Ireland, a British warlord named Coroticus had laid waste to the countryside

lots of people mentioning their notification hygiene in response to this finding that notifications are cognitively disruptive. I'll only add that, in addition to regular DND intervals and silencing most notifications, I hate my phone so much and would love nothing more than to throw it in the sea

I haven’t had notifications on my phone in a decade. A list of exactly five people can break through my DND if they call twice. This freaks 1) millennials 2) Gen Z 3) students out to no end. I don’t know how we ever thought this was okay but then again I’m old.

That’s funny, because Nate Swanson, who used to be the point guy on Iran at the NSC but got fired because of Laura Loomer, warned of this in an article written four days before the war started. It was called “Why Iran Will Escalate.”

just leave it open and let this guy wander around the green landscape and go up and down the Eiffel tower for eternity

Happy Afroman Rabbit Hole Day to all who celebrate

Happy Afroman Rabbit Hole Day to all who celebrate

I just clued into the Afroman defamation lawsuit. Amazing. Absolutely amazing content. Actually, it surpasses mere content. It is art.

if you’re already missing the sight of grim baseball players who exhibit no joy while playing and who seem to feel entitled to a championship and nothing less then may I introduce you to the New York Yankees

Judge pulling Bryce Harper over in the dugout: so this big hits in big games thing how does that work exactly

the hottest that two people have ever been in a movie prove me wrong

modern day equivalent

If Venezuela beats USA tonight at the WBC than MLB has to throw out all unwritten rules, these are the stakes