he’s gonna get grok reprogrammed again

wandering the Sonora desert in a carefree fashion like

Oh come the fuck on man how come every morning it’s more Airbud shit to wake up to, except the dog can only play basketball if it’s racist or whatever

there it is. The perfect name

me sleeping seven hours vs. me sleeping six hours and 42 minutes

Fuck it, Zordon Mamdani

I don’t think Americans with hypertension and various other treatable conditions deserve to die. Sorry to get so partisan, but that’s how I feel.

It’s Saturday at 6:05. You’re settled in for 2 hours of WCW action. You’re relieved the Braves played earlier in the day. You ponder why the wrestler Terminator factory blows up.

an abject failure in any way no matter how much they keep trying to polish the turd they laid. it’s unbelievable how bad all these morons have screwed everything up www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...

Dog IG account starts showing the people more

Sting paying tribute to Ted Turner is fitting

Great closing stretch to one of Nitro's best matches, DDP vs. Sting for the World Heavyweight Championship. #wcw99

anyway i'd say approx 80% of presidents i could beat up. especially the early ones, they all had malnutrition and scurvy and shit like that and lived off idk bourbon and coal tar. they all smoked and had blood infections and were deaf in one ear due to a mine collapse or something

Alright that should do it for the day

imagining the version of Cartoon Network funded by Elon Musk and shuddering in revulsion

funniest thing i’ve ever seen

Finally!

COLBERT: How dumb do you think it is for people to say that I should run for president? OBAMA: Well, you know, the bar has changed. I think you would perform significantly better than some folks we've seen. COLBERT: Is that an endorsement? OBAMA: It was not

RIP Ted Turner, you should've run for president in 2000. At the very least, he has an amazing legacy (WCW Monday Nitro).

Thank You for World Championship Wrestling, Ted Turner. Rest in Peace.

least evil unhinged billionaire on record

I personally love to read shit like "U.S. Pauses 'Project Freedom'" in headlines. Not all good jokes need to be complicated.

i hope i never accidentally get locked in the hotdogs factory at night and am forced to eat ninety six hotdogs until i am eventually rescued twenty three minutes later

A little bit of bolognese in my life, A little bit of pesto on the side, A little puttanesca here I am, A little bit of this goes in the pan.

Man it really does be like that sometimes

i am tired of having to listen to dumb assholes just because they have a lot of money

cool

HULU: here is a surprise prequel ep of the bear ;) ME: [looking at my to-do list]

For when I get my shot to do a long skate in the Olympics (per our discussion on the @sickoscommittee.org podcast: open.spotify.com/episode/1qPi...)

RFK Jr. looks like a red potato that a Kindergartner glued hair to

[RFK Jr. voice] bananas have tentacles and we are going to do something about it, thank you for asking

This is the funniest joke ever made

2nd grade Mina Kimes would be GEEKED

BREAKING: Disbarred Lawyer Rudy Giuliani Dies After Drinking Big Hot Cup of Liquid Shoe Polish

Just wanna post this

He is not a cartoon

happy star wars day to this tweet in particular

If the Democrats let Republicans have this INSANELY easy W, I am going to be apoplectic. This shit polls like chlamydia. Get on the other side of it now and be loud about it.

Weep not for the oil execs! Chevron’s profits are expected to more than triple this quarter, and ExxonMobil’s will double. 10-12% of the oil is stuck in the Strait of Hormuz but oil prices have doubled, QED. More from @whitneycwimbish.bsky.social & @ryanlcooper.com here: prospect.org/2026/05/04/a...

NASA just dropped more than 12,000 photos from the Artemis II mission. It'll take me a few days to go through them all, but so far it's one stunner after another. Link: eol.jsc.nasa.gov/SearchPhotos... Credit: NASA/Artemis II Crew (h/t @jonostrower.com)