Incredible

Finally

“The bushes keep catching on fire. 1/5 stars”

Bible: In the end times there are gonna be charlatans who use my name to trick you into supporting evil and it will be incredibly obvious to everyone except you. Evangelicals: This section of the Bible has always been mysteriously vague.

man, when *germany* is telling you “yo dawg y’all gotta cool it with the nazi shit,” you seriously need to get right with jesus

Out of office up for two weeks, baby.

worst democratic governor in the country imo

10/10 no notes

I forgot I had made Peyton Fivehead

I got a fast car

10/10 no notes

There should be a Tampa Bay Lightning blog called Jon Cooper Yelling Camp

…. ……. boldy

THE MUSIC

right now the astronauts are calling houston because the computer on the spaceship is running two instances of microsoft outlook and they can't figure out why. nasa is about to remote into the computer

checked into the astronauts and they're still trying to fix the toilet

Just looked at the moon and was like “Someone’s going there right now”

on balance, I would rather social media had not achieved a ubiquity that has destroyed, perhaps permanently, the social contract and the very fabric of human connection, but otoh it’s fun that there are astronauts up in space right now who have almost certainly seen the “moon’s haunted” tweet

Has anyone plowed in space? Probably not, right? My thought is that someone's definitely cranked it though. Anyway that's my thoughts on the matter.

*walks over to model on desk* "Oh, so that's what it looks like. Huh."

wasn't sure if elon was involved in the spaceship thing until it actually worked

Why are we traveling to the moon when we should be blowing it up

I GOT AN APRIL FOOL FOR YOU TRONALD DUMP 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm sorry are they Miss Cleo-ing this shit

Average HOA email thread reply

But it’s the campus protesters we need to watch out for

Up the Sums

Injured from falling between buildings trying to impress a date. Had to get me out via cutting a hole in the wall of the Qdoba Staff was gonna get lunch from said Qdoba that day and are upset and complaining while I have to sit there and hear about it

Tiger Woods has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

*a deep mournful wail* go Rockies

lol “thousand”

wawa would never

You can't possibly make me consider Rockies baseball in these turbulent times

legit lol'd at the title @diceenvy.bsky.social

looks like Gabe's been hitting the spice

at least he’s in prison where he belongs

boiling the oceans for this

Postgame fit aura. 📷 X/ryangreeneDNVR

lol weed

There's nothing quite like buying tiny little plastic dudes and having to explain to everyone why you need so many

thread of my tiny lego plane designs! Bell X-1

Avs still down two on aggregate, but they did look dead in the water after the home leg

lol it should be 3-1 Pens already to be honest

Nate!

Yes. I love opening this app everyday and dreaming of all the two factor authentication I can perform all day

Yeah because I like having tabs open and a spreadsheet to make notes, compare with.

*deepest sigh*

I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO END BEFORE PITT GETS GOOD AGAIN. BUT I'M ALSO REALISTIC.