Finally got round to watching Blue Lights. We just finished season 1. Absolutely perfect television. Superb writing, superb acting, superb direction. Just great, great work all round. A pleasure to watch for pleasure, a joy to dissect for the craft.

As a guy with half a trillion dollars, I have lots of options: 1. Enjoy a 100% stress-free life doing whatever I please in unfathomable luxury all over the world with people of my choosing 2. Have 87 meltdowns a day on a website

*Reads off Would I Lie To You card* In our teens, the man who did this week's Building A Library on BBC Radio 3 and I used to share a joint account at the Halifax Building Society with two others, into which we deposited all the money we made busking as a barbershop quartet.

Also, annual tweet: Graham Norton is absolutely superb. Makes a ridiculously hard job look easy. Treading that line and staying entertaining is HARD. #Eurovision

Goodnight, Vienna. #Eurovision

Neither Israel or Australia should be in Eurovision. It's mental that they are. Mental. #Eurovision

Super catchy song, brilliantly done, not trying to be some big emotional ballad. SLAVA BULGARI! Or whatever. #Eurovision

What a facking relief! Also: THE BEST SONG. #Eurovision

People have had that haircut in Germany for the last 40 years. #Eurovision

Love that she's come dressed as the architecture behind her. #Eurovision

Israel voting for Australia. Not-actually-Europeans really looking after each other, there. #Eurovision

Many countries run a 'Most Irritating Citizen' competition when trying to work out who should present their votes to the Eurovision hosts. #Eurovision

Victoria looks like a glamourous herring. #Eurovision

No wonder Ukraine are so good at drones. They're in Star Command. #Eurovision

Guten Evening. #Eurovision

When you've got a business meeting at 3pm but a Japanese Tea Ceremony at 6pm. #Eurovision

Here we go, lads. The closest the continent ever gets. Judging time. #Eurovision

This Vienna Waits For You is ace #Eurovision

In a minute, about 50 European Presenterbot 3000s will try and use their alloted 30 seconds to launch a continent-wide career. Nobody remembers a single one of them, except the Icelandic "SING JA JA DING DONG!" guy. He now reads the news in Slovakia. #Eurovision

American Bluesky: TRUMP LIED (AGAIN) European Bluesky: These hosts are terrible (again)

I'm enjoying this HazMat Busby Berkely routine. #Eurovision

Voted! In order of most votes: Bulgaria, Norway, Malta. #Eurovision

This sounds absolutely like 2010s Deutschpop. I approve. #Eurovision #Österreich

Yeah, a lot of people used to walk round Vienna with a different coloured star, Graham. #Eurovision

Porn of The Rings. #Eurovision #Romania

1970s Freddie Mercury playsuit, 1980s Freddie Mercury moustache, 2020s Generation Doodlepad tatts. #Eurovision #Norway

Oh. This is already good. #Eurovision #Norway

Skirt ripping off? Il Fizzo di Buckso! #Eurovision #LaBellaItalia

It's amazing what you can do with six notes. #Eurovision #Cyprus

In a minute, Peter Davidson will fall off Jodrell Bank and this dude will walk over to him. #Eurovision #Lithuania #OneForTheTeenagers

Absolutely delighted, by the way, that Austria have chosen to use Papageno's little four note signature from The Magic Flute to introduce the acts and just not mention it. My people. #Eurovision

This song needs to go backpacking for a year. See if it can find itself. #Eurovision #Poland

Guys! Think I might have got to the bottom of the European Wet Look Gel Shortage. #Eurovision #Finland

Linda and Pete? Are we going to a 1980s dinner party? #Eurovision

Aaaah, it's Moldova on the Big Dress rota this year, then. #Eurovision

You could sing Kokomo by The Beach Boys to this. #Eurovision #Moldova

Bonkers voice for a 17-year-old. Hat. (French for 'chapeau') #Eurovision #France

Swing big. Respect. #Eurovision #UK

Buffy The Song Slayer. #Eurovision #Croatia

*Gandalf voice.* You. Shall not. Win! #Eurovision #Croatia

Macbeth! The Musical. #Eurovision #Croatia

Fair play, #Bulgaria. Properly choreographed madness. This is what #Eurovision is about!

This is the most interesting minicab waiting room I've ever seen, for sure. #Eurovision #Bulgaria

Czechia! Remember, those people serve pickled sausages and therefore automatically get an extra ten points. #Eurovision

Really interesting and different that Malta song. Well done, lads. #Eurovision

This is the closing song from the new All Of Us Strangers musical. #Eurovision #Malta

"Seriously lads, we drop the close harmony, go down the death metal musical route we can absolutely clean up the scandi votes." #Eurovision #Serbia

I do quite respect it when a #Eurovision entry basically just puts the outcome of national trauma onstage. #Serbia

What We Do In The Studios. #Eurovision #Serbia

ChatGPT, write me a Eurovision song. #Eurovision #Australia