"No worries!" I say, underestimating the number of worries considerably

Morning.

insisting on 'depoliticizing'' certain conversations is part of racism. too many liberals fail to see this and get taken in by the bad-faith rhetoric

LOU HOPE BUTT ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

whenever someone has “HUMAN, NOT AN AI!!!” in their bio i’m always a li’l 🤨

"Boxing Day!" I shout, uppercutting you into 2026

Die Hard is a movie

🎶 SALAL THIS IS CHRISTMAAASSSSS…

we don't have to spiral alone

I don't know who needs to hear this, but don't leave town

But have you considered that I may just be that stupid?

If my Christmas present to you comes in a fancy gift bag with unruffled color tissue papers and a blank name card, consider that an extra gift because we both know you’re going to be reusing all that shit.

What if I told you the bells weren't actually jingling. What if I told you that's how they scream.

Following up any questionable decisions I make by saying “it’s the holidays 🤷🏻‍♀️”

Day 24 #ArtAdventCalendar merry christmas (ya filthy animals)

and if i’m being real i’m not making my life better by being here this much, so i’m gonna try and be a little scarcer for now🤞🏻

Day 23 #ArtAdventCalendar sun’s waking up (have u heard?)

ope! there's some "feels"

i win?

you know what yoga WAS bad for me actually

boop

i wanna say something but i don't want you to take it the wrong way but i also still want it to be funny so i'll just continue to silent

omg get out of my way! (i’m HEALING!!✨)

you don’t have to wait for the world to get better before you make your life better (and other reminders i need on a regular basis)

sometimes you post the shit and sometimes the shit posts you

Take this 5x a day Take this 3x a day Take this morning and night Have you been sleeping Stand up without holding on Push against my arms Hold your head up Don't stop Blow out as hard as you can As hard as you can Do it all all the time As hard as you can As long as you can Harder than that

My grandmother, a socialite with Alzheimer's, said one of the greatest things I've ever heard. I asked what she was doing, and she responded, having no idea who I was, "Oh, I'm just sitting in a house, doing things that people do when they're sitting in houses"

Marrow-deep fatigue All resources committed No zygotes allowed

Hood rat

(and i’m not sorry about that dorky pun)

bah humpug

i don’t want to talk about it, but i will (threatening)

i’ve turned a corner so many times this week i’m just fully going in a circle at this point

last night i was visited upon by three spirits (they were all my cat and they all wanted to be fed)

inside of me are two wolves and i’m still hungry

Christmas comes early for pets around here...

The only part of my body I can't reach is the part that itches.

I'll come to your party if there's no one else but me and it's also at my house.

What are you dingleberries saving skeets for anyway? Is it a holdover from the Great Depression?

Anything you can do, I can do louder.

Go find some beauty.

naming a dog “Champ” will jinx them into being dumb as fuck

Senior discounts: sorry you had to live so long, here’s 10% off

Day 22 #ArtAdventCalendar 2025, wrapped

Almost feel sorry for people who've always had their shit together and will never experience the surprise and delight of getting their shit together.

bro thats literally just amore

Behind every good hostess is a good doggo who knows how to work a crowd

"I just think drag hurts kids" I say as I spray tan my toddler so she can look her best in this rhinestone ball gown

Obsessed narrative Spoken into a mirror You don't see yourself

god knew i’d be too powerful if i could fully expand my diaphragm