so pretty💞

I'm a chronic oversharer. You will know things about me against your will.

People really do just go online, pull down their pants and show their butthole off to everyone, don't they?

It is what it is, but you don't have to be a dick about it.

this skeet goes out to all my other animal parents who have a cat that is a T A L K E R .

Cats prove that people do like a cold and bitchy personality.

I’ve been resisting posting this because I don’t think it’s helpful but I’ve just gotta say… Everything is so bad.

gifted my yoga teacher a shiny red apple and he set it on the corner of his mat

enjoy before they become a beetle snack🤣🌼💞

one unfortunate outcome of this recent AI scam bubble is that it has absolutely killed my interest in AI's in fiction. the Alien tv show doing the whole "is AI a human" routine we've been doing for the last hundred years but now I'm like no, it's a shitty chatbot that destroys fresh water

Million Dollar Idea: qtips that are allowed to go in your ear

“How was your day?” Me:

I would have a heart attack if any of my kids did the shit I did when I was a teenager

Just because I like attention doesn’t mean I know what to do with it when it’s given to me

If my cat could say one word in human it would have to be "PARKOUR"

Use that block/mute button all you want to. It's your feed. You don't owe anybody a reason.

Canadians have a unique, three-week window where it's socially acceptable to wear a parka with shorts. It's called "The Great Compromise," and we don't like to talk about it.

they look frazzled, thank you, beetles and aphids😑🤣💞

I see you being ugly to others & I'm sad you've not found a way yet stuck pushing people away perpetuating a cycle of harm from insecurity that likely began when you didn't have what you needed to feel safe & I hope for better for you to see you can help the world heal if you rock the baby you

None of this is real. Log off to nothing brewing, to not knowing names.

Waiting on October to start.

confident that if they could, cats would smoke cigarettes

The times when you have seen only four sets of footprints, my child, is when ai made your art.

My parents are reusing paper plates. I just don’t know what to do with that knowledge, so now it’s your problem.

I love it when cats

I don’t trust people who “can’t complain.”

Look at this beautiful asshole telling you to have a nice night.

bad news. it’s actually pretty nice having clothes put away instead of in a pile

I'M JOKING.

story of my life 🥲

Try again later, perhaps when your frontal lobe has finished forming.

but your honor it was my je ne sais quoi

big ⊂_ヽ ＼＼ long ＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) > ⌒ヽ / へ＼ / / ＼＼𝔹𝕦𝕥𝕥𝕤 ﾚ ノ ヽ_つ / / / /| ( (ヽ | |、＼ | 丿 ＼ ⌒) | | ) / ノ ) Lﾉ (_／

sabotage espionage decoupage

Hear me out: four musketeers

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, shame on me Fool me 4 times, shame on me (Keep going, I’m really gullible)

pretty color⭐️

does anyone want to buy me a house in California as a prank

yeah that's nice, but are you kind when the internet isn't looking

sticks and stones may break my bones, but I still love the forest.

I'd probably regret a lotta moments in my life if I could actually remember them.

I’m a draft dodger, but only because I get cold really easily.

Seriously tho... I'm here you fuckaas bitch

The type of person The neighbors leave produce for Outside the front door

If someone’s cat wasn’t beautiful I would still tell them it was.

Don't tell me things. I don't actually want to know anything unless it is super gross.

Another way to understand wood grain is to pet a cat

patterns

INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE WHERE YOU ARE NICE TO EACH OTHER AND BOTH LEAVE FEELING GOOD IS THE BEST THING, ASSHOLES!

installing a light switch on the back of my head that toggles whether or not i think the simpsons are real people