Rosie The Reaper
@mytai.bsky.social
📤 1801
📥 351
📝 311
Manic pixie soul reaper.
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Rosie The Reaper
𝔏𝔦𝔩𝔞𝔠
8 days ago
Flamin' Hot Mosquitoes
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Ennui Doofen
14 days ago
anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
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Sam Whyte
19 days ago
"Out damn clot, out I say" - Lady Macbeth performing vascular surgery
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TwoSense
about 1 month ago
number one reason sock puppets become single is laundry
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Frovo
about 1 month ago
we’ll we’ll we’ll if it isn’t my old friend autocorrect
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Luke Steuber
over 1 year ago
It is offensive to me that even in our late stage capitalist society if I want pizza and sunglasses I have to go to two different huts
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2 months ago
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Kellalena
2 months ago
I can do anything I set my mind to after panicking first.
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Sorrowscopes
3 months ago
Virgo: This is the week you finally find out how guillotine-proof your neck really is.
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Anhedonia Karenina
3 months ago
sometimes you bada your bings sometimes your bings bada you
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Stalled Traffic
3 months ago
Just got dream job with DOGE! Thanks to everyone’s help and advice here. You all were right! Changing my name to Goebbles D. Znutz clinched the gig.
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Esme Weatherwax 📚🧶🦉🌳🔬📸 🌈 ally
3 months ago
“Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder. Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels. Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies. Elves are glamorous. They project glamour. Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment. Elves are terrific. They beget terror." Just feeling Pratchetty today.
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Lupita Nihongo
3 months ago
If you say 'heteronormative' or 'unhoused person' or 'food insecurity' you're basically talking gibberish and nobody can understand you but if you say you can see inflammation in children at the airport and that vaccines lower IQ or that germs are a myth you get to fire all the scientists.
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Jason, ex Inferis
3 months ago
She slayed. I slode. We slew.
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Marrying a man with excellent taste has its downsides. The main one being that he refuses to buy me spaghettios.
3 months ago
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C 🇨🇦
3 months ago
Getting all oiled up for my date with destiny
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Barba Papa 🏳️🌈The Bear Did Lady
3 months ago
What I have isn't exactly free will, but it's similar, like an orca.
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Rosie The Reaper
Jake_Vig
3 months ago
The abyss called. Your screams are noted.
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RM
3 months ago
We must preserve the US Postal Service because UPS or FedEx would never do this.
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mammon
4 months ago
[whispering at the deli] i too would like to be cured
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Stalled Traffic
4 months ago
Eminem says he’s gonna be rapping until he’s 100 years old and I, for one, cannot wait for him to drop his Social Security Administration diss track.
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Stalled Traffic
4 months ago
I assume that Cap’n Crunch had to work his way up the Navy ranks like everyone else, but turns out his first cereal, Seaman Crunch, was premature.
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Stalled Traffic
3 months ago
Somehow my life went from “thrift” to “vintage” and I have to admit it’s better that way.
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Stalled Traffic
3 months ago
She was so gassy that with just a gentle tummy squeeze you could play her like a novelty accordion.
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Stalled Traffic
3 months ago
My standup set at the astronomy conference failed to launch. Everyone was just too Sirius.
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Rosie The Reaper
Stalled Traffic
3 months ago
I was invited to do standup at the supercomputer conference, but the previous guy pentaflopped.
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Stalled Traffic
3 months ago
I tried to do a standup set at the vintage animation conference but there were too many Heckle and Jecklers.
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Rosie The Reaper
inkedupandsonic
6 months ago
anybody can breakdance if you tase them hard enough
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Jake_Vig
4 months ago
Please don't make me choose between you and honey mustard.
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Humor For Resistance
4 months ago
If you can't build your own guillotine, store bought is fine
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Dr. Peter Paul Rubens
4 months ago
Lemons, oranges, & pomegranates in a wan-li bowl, 1630. Beautiful bounty from Jacob van Hulsdonck of Antwerp, whose day is today.
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Frovo
4 months ago
[wedding] PRIEST: and now the exchanging of the rings BRIDE: *holds out hand stuck in a pringles can* GROOM: *can’t get ring out of pocket because hand is stuck in a pringles can* PRIEST: *drops bible revealing both hands stuck in pringles cans
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Stalled Traffic
4 months ago
You get more flies with honey than with vinegar, it’s true, but corpses work better than them both.
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Stalled Traffic
4 months ago
I can’t help my intrinsic style. I’m just giving off those old trailer park money vibes.
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Rosie The Reaper
4 months ago
Set phasers to agog
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darth™️
4 months ago
“did u finish the work on the terrifying dread kraken to strike fear in the hearts of men” “sure did boss just like u asked made him goofy as hell all googley eyed and waving his lil tentacles up in the air’ “wait wat”
add a skeleton here at some point
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The brave knight waves his sword and yells at the beast, “You are the Anti-Christ!” The beast thinks for 12 seconds, “I hear you—and I understand your concerns.”
4 months ago
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born miserable
4 months ago
excuse me, but do I look like I give a shit? well, you're damn right I do. make sure you're eating, hydrating, resting, taking your motherfucking meds, and looking out for your best interests in the spirit of your health and well-being and fuck anyone who dares derail your path to joy
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Stalled Traffic
4 months ago
The spirit is willing but the flesh is gross.
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debbshock
5 months ago
when life gives you demons, make demonade
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Jason, ex Inferis
5 months ago
A Waymo named Desire.
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E.D.D.I.E.z
5 months ago
cloudy with a chance of death rays
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Stone Cold Jane Austen
5 months ago
It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this
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Stalled Traffic
5 months ago
I’m still hanging in with the fandom, but if Disney ever comes up with a character named Jon Bon Jedi I’m done.
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Mary
5 months ago
I can raise just one eyebrow, but I have to be looking in the mirror to do it. So if you need me to look incredulous, give me a minute to set it up.
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Steven W Skinner
7 months ago
Wrestlemania is ok but then comes the Wrestledepression
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sweetie π
10 months ago
i don’t want to keep calm and carry on i want to shoot lasers out of my eyes
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