On the weather app, days where there is a small chance of overnight rain but it will otherwise be sunny during waking hours should not be represented by the little rainy cloud thumbnail. Bad for morale.

This story was broken by The Cornell Sun, which @nytimes.com nowhere cites. As a former editor-in-chief of The Sun — and in the name of brave, amazing college newspapers everywhere — do not treat student journalists as truffle pigs, taking what they've sniffed out without credit or compensation.

Every 18 seconds someone tests positive for COVID-19. This is that man.

ChatGPT: you’re right you’re so much smarter than him. He’s so schlubby and you’re so suave. Columbo will never catch you.

NASA just dropped more than 12,000 photos from the Artemis II mission. It'll take me a few days to go through them all, but so far it's one stunner after another. Link: eol.jsc.nasa.gov/SearchPhotos... Credit: NASA/Artemis II Crew (h/t @jonostrower.com)

Hello Mother, Hello Father

HAPPENING NOW: Tim Heidecker delivers an update on the future of InfoWars and takes calls from viewers including President Donald J. Trump.

I’m not very good at receiving compliments, so let’s just say, thank you for all the kind words. It has been kind of a surreal evening. And to any new followers, don’t say the governor didn’t warn you, I post a lot about sports (Go M’s, sorry about tonight Twins fans).

I can't believe this. @normcharlatan.bsky.social you're a Minnesota Legend, my man.

Theo Von needs his AJ Hawk.

klay thompson jfk in 1963 🤝 coming to dallas & losing your mind

At Dark Home Depot buying Bar Keepers Enemy

every Pete Thamel haircut is “what if a 1950s Treasury Secretary was getting his First Communion”

Robert Kraft is WEAK on crime

You belong here @kylebrandtsky.bsky.social

GOOD MORNING. The 2026 EDSBS Charity Bowl is now live. #CharitibundiBowl www.edsbscharitybowl.com

I am hearing that on his deathbed Pat McAfee received the light of Islam and unhesitatingly recited the Shahada. Even now he looks down on the Ummah from the gardens of Jannah. Truly there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet!

my youngest grandson returns from The Waste. No food again, just metal scraps. But he's so proud, and wants a reward. "Tell me again about The Great Before. Tell me why The Green went away," he begs. "in the Before," I begin, "people had questions about who should participate in women's sports..."

4/8/26

"Can't come in to work tomorrow, Bosch beat me up. You know, Bosch? The guy who plays Bosch? Yeah, he beat me up in front of my house."

um it’s called earth-temp and it’s what the planet wants us to drink it at

baseball has two basic modes: 1. grumpy, slow-paced cotillion 2. drama avalanche where it feels like you’ve been kidnapped but in a way you enjoy for some reason

"Open the Strait of Hormuz. You may not receive the help of any other sovereign nation. Fastest wins."

this is a red dead 2 mission thumbnail

Jaxson Dart: thoughtful, polished response to impress his new coach Cam Skattebo: sees basket of wings, blacks out

Making the dinner announcement at Davos

Texas A&M - Hormuz - ‘29 @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social

I think it’s sweet that A’ja Wilson lets her boyfriend work outside the home

Eldest boy has taken to sending me messages and emails sporadically that look normal but when opened are just Halal Truck Mr. Beast

2026 has a very 2006 "everybody fucking hates republicans but national media/pundits will be reeaaaaaaaaaaallllllly slow to properly understand that because of their priors about the two parties" feel to it

"My favourite Pokemons? I don't like none to be honest. I just like watching 'em fight each other. You know, they say the Pokemons like it, like fighting each other and getting shoved into those pokeballs, but I don't think they do. And that's fine by me." -Wayne Gretzky, Pokemon Intermission Report

THÅT MF IS NØT RÆL

mayor wesley dingus

"Professor White Boy " has perished. They found him self harmed at the bottom of an elevator shaft. Thanks for the fucking smiles, Professor

here you go

Mikaela Shiffrin wins the slalom gold medal by 1.50 seconds If you add up the winning margins of the winners at the 1998, 2002, 2006, 2010, 2014, 2018, and 2022 women's slalom, you get 1.51 seconds

Me whenever a new Olympics sport appears on TV, even if the screen says it's "LIVE"

Me when we are dominating at curling

ON DAY 9 OF THE OLYMPICS, CANADA FINALLY WINS ITS FIRST GOLD

"They're now into decrepit Habsburg territory." The @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social expertly nailing the Dallas Cowboys.

That’s what’s up.

Epstein Class is a capacious term. Botox? Epstein Class. Crypto? Epstein Class. Obsession with Gender? Epstein Class.

Dogshit.

CORRECTION: The book is titled "I Need a New Butt!," not "I Have a New Butt!" We apologize for the error.

I’m CRYINGGGGG!! Kevin Durant really got a lotion deal with CeraVe 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #NBA #Cerave #Ad

I’m ok. I’m a survivor so this small agitator isn’t going to intimidate me from doing my work. I don’t let bullies win. Grateful to my incredible constituents who rallied behind me. Minnesota strong.

…..should I take a pic w him in Indy