[Going to the doctor and showing them this picture] can you make me this? Is there a procedure to give me a Dog in Hat Eating Hot Dog kind of life? This is what I want

This is your periodic reminder that the STAR TREK: A NEXXXT GENERATION PARODY is on YouTube with all the sexytimes skipped over, and it is at the very least better than "Code of Honor" #trek

I have the sneaking dread that I'll be using this image a lot more as things get worse

there is a scene in MANDALORIAN & GROGU where Grogu attempts to walk on that beach but gets poked in the coconut by some small seagull-shaped bugs. Five stars, no notes.

wow that sucks, posting dereck rodríguez's Michelle Pfeiffer As Catwoman tattoo to cleanse the palate

Blackalicious and it isn't close. I saw him in St. Pete and he was clearly just checked out and didn't give one shit; between every song was "Saint Pete... <wait for applause> how we doin'?" Also the backup singers were mixed WAY too high and drowned out everything

introduce yourself with 10 bands / musicians you've seen live Cake Eels They Might Be Giants Crystal Method Presidents of the USA Reel Big Fish Snoop Dogg Eminem Good Charlotte GWAR extremely "the last time MTV was good" energy in that list.

You start out in 2024 by saying, "clanker, clanker, clanker." By 2026 you can't say "clanker" — that hurts you, backfires. So you say stuff like, uh, stochastic parrot, next-token predictor, and all that stuff, and you're getting so abstract.

Carmen Mlodzinski Leaving the game after pitching the Bucs to a lead Eating some seeds

I don't know, man, I think we're all going through a lot and none of us needs to walk outside and see this right now

Whomst among us hasn't showed off our sick new dance moves at the club, ate shit because we didn't see a step, and then laid there motionless while everyone looks on in silence?

When you get down to it, we're all humans. We all looked at dough and said "what if we put something super-delicious inside it and fried it?" and we weren't wrong about the results.

"BAH GAWD ED ZITRON HAS KILLED [the managerial class]!! AS GOD AS MY WITNESS [the managerial class] IS BROKEN IN HALF!"

When you turn 48, you have to choose to get really into birding or WWII, and as more of Gen X turns 48, they're choosing birding. The Merlin app doesn't help, just makes it way too easy to get really into birding.

BROKE: It's anti-Semitic not to root for the OKC Thunder WOKE: The OKC Thunder must be returned to their ancestral Zionist homeland, in Seattle

14 Coffees and I'm pocketing a dollar.

how does the bat signal work on clear nights? do all the villains just agree to only do crimes when it's overcast?

Classic win-now move. You have to give Pittsburgh credit for going for it while their championship window is open.

why'd my job put me up in the cuck hotel room?

a specter is hanting europe the hant of virus

to my @mtgarena.com friends:

Slightly increase a band Wu-Tang Loose Affiliation of Federated States

No probably about it, that is definitely a minor

I don't see any potential risks in banning antidepressants in a nation with iron-clad access to as many guns as you want any time, no questions asked.

Happy #LetterboxdFriday! Time to post your #LastFourWatched Sequels and remakes that don't hold up to the originals, plus a 48hr film jam movie from Gareth Edwards. None great, but RUNNING MAN was at least an interesting polemic.

Saw the cloud that looks like a skeleton jacking off again

/horn fanfare from the beginning of "Ante Up" starts playing faintly, it's unclear from where

I think the thing that gets lost in how funny #TWKYK is, is how angry Trevor and Zach are. They're so, so angry at how stupid and venal and hypocritical our government is, and no matter how on-the-nose this critique is it's defanged by the messenger being a bunch of sketch comedians.

It can't be overstated that the first Death Star, moreso than destroying a weapons platform, was an incredible decapitation of the Empire in that Tarkin, Motti, Tagge, and probably thousands of elite, high-ranking officers all disappeared, forcing a lot of undeserved promotions (coughOzzelcough)

Here's an actual Hot Take™: Fast Travel ruins games. There's no reason to make a sprawling open-world game if 90% of your players will only experience it as a series of loading screens between hubs. Turn off (most) fast travel and encourage users to engage with routes and emergent little moments

I saw Nosferatu in theaters with a live band consisting of a cello, a theremin, an organ and a goth chick in a corset trilling wordlessly. Did the organist have a top hat? Yes! Did that top hat have gears glued to it? Do you even have to ask??!

@amerrill2.bsky.social this is your moment!

Now how am I going to see a movie starring someone I am confident is still a virgin?

It's #letterboxdFriday, #Filmsky! My #LastFourWatched include an utterly charming farce in TABLE 19 and a whole knotted mess of missed Werewolf opportunities in HOWL

Way better "yearly race to post it first" thing than Justin Timberlake

oh right I have an actual college degree in taking pretty pictures #DURM

I have personally met this cat, and I gotta say: A+ accuracy on the alt-text

New #SWU @unlimitedffg.bsky.social Initiative tokens just dropped

𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘀 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵 is Zach Cregger's 𝗞𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘂

cmon @mtgarena.com print Smokestack and Ensnaring Bridge into Timeless. I am a normal person and can be trusted with prison pieces.

Post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet(s).

OK, Constant Reader. Here's my pitch, I need $45m to make a reality: Blockade Billy, and it's co-directed by Kevin Costner in the first half and then Ryuhei Kitamura in the second half. Just pure baseball hagiography followed by nightmare bloody violence. hmu, Castle Rock. #horrorsky #Kingsky 📽️📖⚾🪒

Desktop computers that you can still enforce your will on as to what they do and what they are not allowed to do are the only computers that should exist. The black-boxing of computers into unrepairable, un-upgradeable toys like iPads/Chromebooks has harmed our ability to problem-solve for ourselves

JAKOB'S WIFE is a #horror film that dares to attack the philosophy of reactionary horror films by arguing the transgression is to *not* give in to your desires:

Only one real answer:

Does anyone remember a website that gave a complete history of techno from musique concrete to the present ? Every section had heavily-editorialized one-paragraph summaries with several buttons that played low-quality samples of the most famous exemplars of each. It looked kinda like this:

#LastFourWatched for #LetterboxdFriday Two shorts (one atrocious, one decent), revisiting Mars to make sure I wasn't unfair to the Ghosts thereof (I wasn't, it's still bad) and having just the 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒕 time with my revenge thrillers courtesy of Lynne Ramsey.

"A living wage is cheaper than revolution" is a line I expect to hear more and more.