The joy of the back squat now in a soft drink.

It’s not that complicated. y’all are all a bunch of dorks who don’t talk to people IRL.

i shan't be quote tweeting the original quote but this is untrue for many reasons, most notably that your entire life was labor from waking to bedtime. peasants weren't clocking in for 5 hour workdays in the field and then scrolling reels on insty all evening.

its not a podcast if youre not listening on an ipod. Otherwise its a sparkling winecast

Villagers from Boy who Cried Wolf: "i know the last few times Trump said we're close to a deal were a lie, but I think hes got something here."

i love the columbos when he realizes very early on that something was up based on a very subtle villain behavior.

the real boss move is to get take out and zhuzh it up.

I deal alot of this for work so I ask people about this all the time. I called up my insurance carrier and said hey lets save some money together Ill give you a CPT code and you tell me which doctor charges everyone the least well both save money. They couldnt tell me.

they really should have just ripped off the entirety of bonanza

all the discussion about James Bond casting is silly because we all know itll be a never before known actor named Beff Jezos.

the great conservative project is the end of the society and we should fight with every breath against that idea.

i was wondering what would happen if I carried an M-16 while riding.

The entire concept of talking about AI at a commencement makes no sense. "Congrats on all the hard work you did. Dont forget about all the people who supported you along the way. Your parents, your teachers your friends. and the pens. How about those pens folks?"

im just so ready for all my old reddit posts to go viral after I run for office. I fully stand by my 40K fan Theories no matter how many mods I offend.

he told me he was single this is so fucked

google destroying the search engine is proof of the adage companies become their money maker. Theyre an ad company not a search company.

maybe the most brilliant piece of insurance fraud

Steyer flubbed this one. As soon as she said “I run WIRED” he should have responded “so you’re management?” and immediately ended the interview to show solidarity with the working class

id still put money on Cornyn winning

its an obvious problem of us all being siloed into a few platforms. Right now r/Tulsa is losing its mind over something youll never see

I can save them

Speedrun xkcd.com/3246/

Only voting for Dems if they create a larger fund for people named Ernie.

Airline that flies millions of people a day: “somehow we didn’t expect so many people would have bags. Would you mind helping us with that?”

My nephew is so cool he makes your kid look like a steaming pile of shit.

ME: Okay—back on track... How do you feel about the modern takes on the Odyssey? HOMER: Show me Grindr again. Show me again now.

i maintain that this was a fine use of 9 minutes of my life.

ME: b-but Reverend Mother, we mustn’t, what if Shai Hulud hears the rhythm of our prayer and comes here and devours me?? MY DOMINATRIX: …I’m sorry can you explain all this again please

*cuts into it eats a slice of bologna off the knife* it’s pure

Saw the dude

just open contempt for the united states as a pluralist and secular democracy. and a reminder that the function of the fiction that the united states was founded as a fundamentalist christian nation is to establish a hierarchy of human worth with white christians at the top

This is located right next to Irans nuke program

Putting up a sign that just says “Some Soliciting”

I need people to stop getting mad at bait.

Getting mogged by your judge is crazy

Ladies if your boyfriend won’t do this that’s a dealbreaker

He’s not wrong.

Mr. President, we must not allow a big natural gap!

She’s crazy

"A new report is raising questions about how U.S. law enforcement agencies across the South classify the deaths of transgender women, arguing that some cases ruled suicides may warrant deeper scrutiny"

I ran this comic past one of my Warhammer buddies and asked "Is $5000 an appropriate number here? Should it be $1000 instead?" and he said no. He said $5000 was the most accurate number.

goddamn, dude.

I wish anyone who doesn’t give a full throated defense of trans people a be in middle of a Final Destination movie.

Absolutely devastating read. www.them.us/story/slain-...

She’s baby

It’s not what you think. they criminalized courthouse marriages where kids dressed up as adorable judges

Gf moving to China so I have to pick up a new hobby. has anyone tried flatlining?