big 🧅 🧅

just hanging out on a bridge, blowing into an empty bottle and thinking about the Empty Man

football really is a lot of standing around

we still can't control Godzilla, but maybe we can reason with him

David Ferrie - you know about him? @joelastname.bsky.social

how can we manipulate events to convince Jerry to make Deion the Cowboys head coach

"Left my wallet in El Segundo" lord of mercy

yes I know in hindsight it was not a good idea to look into that big leather egg because that weird squid thing attached itself to my face, but I'm feeling much better now

hmm what's that, I wonder

space cocaine

why does AJ Pierzynski look so much like Vance

good morning to Maple and no one else

Padme runs weird lol

these hot dogs are medicinal

Ready my ship at once

"Pumpkin Spice is the real MVP"

I had to pick up a package at hole foods and decided to get a few treats from the bakery. I drive carefully all the way home so as not to disturb them...until they flip over a block from my place

Live...Laugh...AND Love?

there's not enough magic in porno anymore

logging on

I'm allergic to movies where the title is the name of the protagonist

sometimes a horror movie is "there's weird little guys in the attic"

OUR car, Walter?

I SAID NO COPS

British food that sounds like shitposts

I am fond of pigs.

does Björk pronounce anything in a normal way

a Cherry Coke for what ails you

I think that's enough of Dakota Johnson, thank you

sexting to the automated messages from Taco Bell's online ordering system

what if you were "too old for this shit" ...but in space?

I keep thinking people referencing Kirk are talking about Captain James T.