Rep. Yassamin Ansari has set up a table and this sign outside Speaker Johnson’s office.

i hope this is how you find out about dick cheney

It’s time for Dodger baseball

while disappointed I can't make the joke, glad to see someone already went viral for pointing out this is the biggest baseball game Toronto has seen since Sonny Koufax and Kevin Garrity drove up for the night and created the plot of Big Daddy

Remember: this afternoon is the ideal time to visit your local historic cider mill!

Playoff Kiké is inevitable

dodgers if you want to fix this you need to eject marlins man

Blake Treinen jailbreaking his PitchCom so it can play the worst podcasts you've ever heard.

Ohtani is the first player to reach base nine times since Darryl Strawberry

you can get $300 when you bet $5 on draftkings using promo code INTEGRITY

Trail Blazers fans have achieved the mythical "our team started out 0-1 and now the head coach is going to jail" that college football fans have dreamed of for years

People, please! We're all frightened and horny.

It's been one year since the greatest announcer call in college football history: "OH NO! DISASTER! WHAT A BAD IDEA!"

Not sure the folks at NBC/Peacock thought this one through

Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work

I'm Still Standing is ELECTRIC at any moment

ahahaaaha hit him with the GTFO

Hopefully @ericstephen.bsky.social gets to see this.

👑 👑 👑

I’m trying

walking on stage at my spouse’s memorial like I’m wrestling D-Generation X at Summer Slam

meanwhile at Big Ibuprofen HQ:

the sooner the Dems learn how to cut a wrestling promo, the better off we'll all be

They couldn’t find any footage of him speaking that made him sound like a decent human being.

[flipping a tarot card and it's a bullpen engulfed in flames] me: is that good

It’s true. Tell your liberal friends it’s about taking down Pat and Brittany Mahomes. Tell your conservative friends it’s about canceling Kelce and TSwift. Everyone wins!

In honor of the four-year anniversary of Norm MacDonald's death, I'll drop this here.

“THAURON!”

You know this isn’t true because if Trump were a secret FBI informant he would have announced it immediately, in all caps.

nick castellanos has prepared his entire life for this weekend.

Timeline delivered the Hank Hill

its fun seeing "americas team" honor the nickname by circling the toilet due to mismanagement by a dictatorial, dementia addled old man in a position of power hes unqualified for

Indeed.

Dreyer-Sheets

Yep, it's Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator

Welcome home! Now time to deploy to Chicago to kidnap a roofer

Trump seize 11 herbs and spices 🍗

Vampire who’s been wallowing after a bad breakup whose buddies finally convince him to get back out on the blood rave scene and he immediately gets cut vertically in half by Blade

if you’re wondering what paul wall is up to

Justin Verlander at a presser after signing a one-year deal with the Reds in February

Benny Johnson looking out his window every day in DC

Yelling "RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES" at the Dunkin Donuts kiosk when it won't take my credit card