A dildo is already on the court

Dunks and layups are cool but tonight id like to see some shooting from the corner

Oh is there a new york sportsball tonight? Sorry the only “MSG” I care about is the delicious ingredient in chinese food thanks

Knickerbockers are loose fitting trousers. Spurs attach to boots. It’s pants vs boot accessories.

Karl-Anthony Towns will be too worried and preoccupied with airspace safety in the skies above Madison Square Garden tonight. Spurs by 13.

Oh is there a new york sportsball tonight? Sorry the only “MSG” I care about is the delicious ingredient in chinese food thanks

Only took a month

Ohhhhh you broke your picanha cherry 👏🏻

True Romance doesn’t hold up. She’s free and clear from Drexl but Clarence HAS to go confront him for roughing up her friend because Elvis told him to? Why did we watch this movie so much

[Ed Kowalczyk in 1994]: 🎶 Gotta live / gotta live / gotta live in

Turning the AC temp from 72 to Max Cold when you get in a hot car does not cool the car down any faster. Discuss.

They came up with the name for He-Man’s cat while reading a series of your posts

Ben Stiller is a drip

“Same era though” killed me

To be the single greatest person in the history of mankind at something you can’t really monetize is like a Twilight Zone episode. Sour Shoes is as good at imitating radio voices as anyone has ever been at anything.

Wife asked about the anti circumcision movement and I said apparently you lose millions of nerve endings and she says “yeah THAT’S what YOU need down there, more nerve endings”. I cried myself to sleep.

Jalen Brunson can win 100 championships and he will never escape the shadow of his famous father, the author of Doyle Brunson’s Super System, legendary poker pro Doyle “The Texas Dolly” Brunson. It’s sad.

The world’s hottest charging cable is called “USB-C”. It can charge everything: AirPods, a PS5 controller, a frisbee with lights in it, a vape pen, an iPhone, an inflatable couch, rechargeable batteries, a

Screaming into the mic during your PGA 2k25 online opponent’s backswing isn’t just fun, it’s an effective bit of gamesmanship ⛳️

You ladies like bad boy Hunter Biden, eh? You know the tag on the mattress that says “do not remove under penalty of law”? I just cut one off. While vaping.

Feels like you couldn’t “get away with” this bit today

My little sister hitting the family slack channel with pictures of her getting on a private jet for the first time and just above her is my picture of a pork chop from the other night. What a bozo. What a schlub.

Sixers fans Trump during Vietnam 🤝 Relying on spurs

It’s an easy life with guaranteed success when you have a 2 syllable name that’s easy to pronounce. Wade Boggs. Bill Burr. Brooke Shields.

The only way to stop a bad guy throwing a dildo at the WNBA is a good guy throwing a dildo at the WNBA

Schwarbarian is the Junebarian. June Barian is the nice lady at work you email questions about PTO. “Did you reach out to June Barian?” “Ohh, no, I will” “Give her my best, tell her congrats on her grandson”

🎶 on the road again 🎶

Padres overpaid Casty DFA’d That’s what’s iiiiiiin

Spin Doctors, you got a dynamite yyyeeeeeeeeeaassahh, badibadip! sound….but im gonna need more badibadubbadubbadubbadubba

Just gonna say it: I don’t like your hairstyle AJ Brown, never did

Who is the richest person ever to empty a dishwasher

When Fogo de Chão caters the NFC Championship postgame celebration

Whoooa Nelly, they fired Scott Pelley, he’s out on the street with a bowl full of jelly

Good girrrrrrl. Who’s a good girl. You’re a good girl.

Watch the Eddie Murphy AFI thing on netflix but pretend it’s to honor him for curing cancer. You’ll still think they’re laying it on a little thick.

Dana White seems like a guy who tells his employees about his bowel movements

Howie Roseman has implemented “the pornhub protocol”, a zero tolerance policy for hanky panky with massage therapists

Drake Maye is short for Drake May(not g)e(t you the ball enough)

The losing superbowl team usually struggles the following season unless their head coach’s weird affair and crumbling marriage are exposed humorously in the offseason, those teams actually do very well. Have fun, AJ.

I think it’s absolutely disgusting that the Phillies make a whole night to “celebrate” a group of people so repugnant and abhorrent that they turn off the majority of decent americans. “Italian heritage” is nothing to be proud of or celebrated and im glad the night has come and gone.

Sure the team is better but it is not yet known whether Myles Garrett will enjoy living in LA more than Cleveland

By the power of Greyskull! (gets struck by lightning) I’d like to watch Evil-Lyn take a showeeerrrrrrrrrrr

The tears will fall steadily, like drips of fat from a slow cooking picanha, landing softly upon the Flavorizer Bars 😔

Have to say goodbye to my best friend of 12 years tomorrow. It’s an odd feeling to know tomorrow is that final visit to the vet but you also know you’re coming home with a better, cuter puppy with an infrared side burner perfect for searing steaks, shrimp, pork chops, etc. 😢

Mike Vrabel thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wideout