Prices are up 30 cents since this post and the nearby liquor store has taken down its decade-old Trump Wine display this shit is so monumentally over.

gar prices remain low. no issues for me when I drive in my flar.

busy day, haven’t checked my phone in a while let’s open up bluesky and see what’s goi- OILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOIL

Today I Will Look The Burrito Man In The Eye and other stories of manifesting success

Easier to write one big check to Trump Ballroom Construction A Real Company For Real LLC

The jobs report is actually good because with gas prices so high who wants to have to drive to work? Thank you Mr. President

lol go on home now Peggy Hill

Insane to read this and then remember like 74% of the reason he’s president now is expensive fucking omelettes

Becoming convinced the only reason he’s still nominally a democrat is so he can get inside party info and stooge it off to republicans

Rare post to make me legitimately burst out in laughter

“Corey, get undressed. He can’t fire me if this plane never lands.”

Not a single uncursed word

For Sale: One plane, two bidets, used in ways you don’t want to know

Guys. Fellas. Dudes. What in the blue hell are you doing.

I feel the same way about this that I do when the New York Jets hire a new coach. It’s just going to be terrible and sometimes Aaron Rodgers will be there.

hard no. absolutely not

Hmm, you would hope at least it wouldn’t be so lopsided

Fish

Ok so kudos to whomever put this together and it will bend your fucking mind. Epstein live texting with a Rep while Cohen is being questioned. This is WILD. Shows how much power/influence he has and why it matters. Also, he's putting the screws to Trump in this case, yeah? Very interesting

They’re gonna have to send the national guard to Shamokin

“A situation like this” so a dumb war your idiot boss started for no reason and immediately got stuck in because it’s happening for no reason, a situation like that you mean

i'm taking a brave stance that may get me canceled: there is no reason for the pervert glasses to exist

you know Lurch has a great point here

I’m positive they didn’t work

Some dudes just love enhancing their performance

In 25 years we’ve gone from “they’re religious extremists so we have to go bomb them” to “they’re religious extremists, and we are too, so we have to go bomb them”

Siri, I need you to self-destruct before showing me another picture of his shingles neck

What the hell does he say at the end of this? Sounds like “a really terra” but I can’t even guess honestly

maybe the most concise 2-sentence summary possible of the entire decade-plus Trump Experience

25g of protein, 2,543 comments

time for my mid-morning snack hey wait a second

When you hear Hegseth talk it’s just overwhelming how DUMB he is. Trump is an idiot, but he’s also 80 and his brain is falling to pieces. This is the best Hegseth is ever going to be and he’s just so dumb.

Really good chance he’s asked someone “can we have JD do it?”

The baby is doing this killer new bit where he sharts in his bath towel the second I take him out of the tub

Kalshi lawyers hoping “rest in power” tweets are legally binding

I don’t want to know the answer because it would be infuriating but what exactly do the 21% think they’re supporting when no one’s explainwd why we’re doing this at all.

I’ve done a pretty good job staying off my phone today but every time I pick it up I want to throw it in the street

haha he fuckin got our ass

I think about this Tony Benn speech much more than I used to

our government combines the impulse control of pete hegseth, the intellectual rigor of rfk jr, and the attention span of donald trump with elon musk’s signature sense of humor

World sucks post breakfast sandwiches

Operation What Files

Nope, back to bed.

This guy’s name reminds me of a time I had a group project with a kid who was a Cubs fan that year LaTroy Hawkins blew a bunch of saves down the stretch. We were using his laptop for a presentation and halfway through the projection screen flips to his gyrating “FUCK LATROY HAWKINS” screensaver.

Hamburgers? Who do you little pissants think you are, hockey players at the White House?

Michigan J. Frog is gonna be looking for work, those folks already have a cartoon frog.

Dunkin Donuts: Sorry, we’re out of chocolate glazed. Me: [about to lose it] No Mark, save this feeling. Use it for your art.

Kash Patel Faces Backlash After Partying With Nancy Guthrie’s Captors https://theonion.com/kash-patel-faces-backlash-after-partying-with-nancy-guthries-captors/