Popeye was just a marketing tool used by big spinach to get us to buy their product

cut down on expenses by canning farts for later use

Therapy isn't enough. I need to fight all 3 branches of government.

Fartasstic episode @thegargle.bsky.social

Confusing Japanese Glory Hole Has Too Many Bells And Whistles https://theonion.com/confusing-japanese-glory-hole-has-too-many-bells-and-whistles/

yes of course i like to FAFO F un A round and F riend O ut

4loko and seven years ago

When you go to a guidance counselor establish dominance by suggesting new career paths for them

Saw this in Discord and it’s amazing

For who and for what occasion is this card for?

excited to hear tech companies will now be allowed to build their own power plants for their data centers. i am sure the makers of "the app that tells kids to kill themselves" will responsibly operate coal plants

State of the union about to finish *glass break* STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN CHUCKS A BEER AT JD VANCE’S HEAD AND GIVES THE PRESIDENT A STUNNER!!!

taking my sweet honey angel pie to the local StinkCenter and winning her an onion

I really need my heights wuthered

love when democrats talk about kitchen table issues as if trans people and immigrants don’t have kitchen tables 🙃

Me after sex: My cumpliments to the chef

Trump Suffers Setback Unrelated To Child Rape

where did all these damn skeletons in my closet come from

Let us be merry before we go

I'm so cute and good 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 Moreover, ICE must be destroyed

Can we start over

Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz

RFK Jr. Demonstrates How To Remove Tapeworm By Scooting Ass Across Carpet https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-demonstrates-how-to-remove-tapeworm-by-scooting-ass-across-carpet/

Me: Nice perineum… Him: Thanks… It’s Goochi.

Hrnnng

Who up feeling like spontaneous combustion is a good retirement plan?

The Dems are more out of touch than my sex life

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom, eat some cheese

:) #doodles #IGuess

If you like cheese enchiladas and getting caught in the rain

the grateful dead is one of the great symbols of american freedom. not the semblance of freedom enshrined in the bill of rights that can be stripped away by the state, but true freedom that can be taken by no one—to explore and express one's mind, body, and soul uninhibited, to fly your freak flag.

The heat come round and busted me for smiling on a cloudy day

Darling, fetch me my bathing toaster won't you

*trust falls into the abyss*

My tummy hurts and I am mad at the government

Radical fuckin idea but maybe we let ppl find enjoyment however they can because everything sucks

important message to all bluesky users

Slapping on a pair of big ole titties and driving through Yellowstone as god intended

If you are what you eat, we could all be billionaires by the end of the week.

sex with me is like bowling. there’s a lot of drinking and cursing. sticking your fingers in weird holes. you have to rent shoes

As news breaks please be mindful of how you post. Remember: - the government would never lie to you - double check all sources with your chiropractor/astrologist - every tiktok is real

oh yeah? well, could a dying sex criminal do THIS? [bombs venezuela]

Trump: LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIINS! CIA: Oh my god he just ran in

YES - Empathy should never be this hard

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM MAMDANISTAN!

A message for you all to carry through the year

I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t have a reflexive mistrust of Ryan Seacrest.