Parallel parked (perfectly nbd) in front of a bar patio and a crowd of gay men drinking outside cheered. One yelled “take your shirt off” when I got out. Still got it.

I know it’s almost hack to point out at this point but do you remember how bad republicans were bitching when gas hit 65% of what it costs now?

Musk sobbing furious tears that Odysseus returns to his family in the end

He’s offended because The Odyssey is about something near and dear to him: being an absent father while chasing vanity for 20 years

ASU is robbing you.

[email protected], 415-275-0030. The lines are open. The lines are always open.

I see Netflix is letting Francis Ngannou murder a middleweight www.instagram.com/p/DYXhhf0m3c...

/Donald Trump, submitting a captcha to ask a question about socks "I've passed all the cognitive tests they give, aced them all, they said it's the best score that a president has ever gotten. BIDEN, you know he couldn't even find the motorcycle, where's the motorcycle he asked, he didn't know wh

Man. Had to stop listening to this in public transport today - AMAZING

Today on FAT City (sign up for FREE!): I'm pondering how friendly is *too* friendly when it comes to customer service: fresnoland.org/newsletter/f...

Frotcast 680: Yung Hitler. This week we watched Max (2002), a movie that actually exists, about a young Hitler before all the Holocaust stuff. www.patreon.com/posts/frotca...

I'm willing to test this theory

You give our salon a name yet? Sure did, boss! Made it sound exactly like a hotel PPV porno, just like you asked. What

Frotcast 680: Yung Hitler. This week we watched Max (2002), a movie that actually exists, about a young Hitler before all the Holocaust stuff. www.patreon.com/posts/frotca...

I see Wordle bot has been spending time with @justinhalpern.bsky.social’s mom

Wondering what to order at Fresno's hottest new sandwich spot? I got you covered. fresnoland.org/2026/05/13/t...

Pistons playing like they need a three even though they’re down by four.

I’m convinced Australians pronounce puma “pyooma” and debut “dayboo” just to fuck with us.

interesting rationale from a prospective juror in the Elon Musk Twitter stock manipulation case

If anyone knows of a non-scary spider I could hire to rid my house of flies, drop their info in the chat

This site is never beating the allegations of being filled with the most joyless hall monitors in America as multiple dorks are asking Parker to delete this tweet to defend the fascist freak’s obsession with making dick cutting content

This is America, naming shit after stuff we killed and using them in our iconography is one of our most closely held traditions.

Wondering what to order at Fresno's hottest new sandwich spot? I got you covered. fresnoland.org/2026/05/13/t...

I married a lady with a house, I highly recommend it

7/7 This entire building in the center of Manhattan was expected to have fewer than a dozen full-time residents. It was designed to provide the ultra-wealthy with palatial homes (often full floor) for the few weeks each year they spent in NYC.” These are the targets of Mamdani’s tax.

Am I crazy for thinking that in a fishing challenge, the fishing should have real consequences?

Top Chef Power Rankings, Week 10: A Raw Deal at the Bassmaster Classic open.substack.com/pub/vinceman...

trump: no one knows why it's called 8mm. the director doesn't even know. but i'm watching it and nicholas cage, he's on top of Machine and i said "don't do it," i said "don't stab Machine," but he does it. melania, our beautiful first lady was watching too weren't you? melania, off mic: he stab hem

The machines crave the sea

This is a perfect encapsulation of what makes Baywatch great www.instagram.com/reel/DYNFcHq...

big this energy

Went by this restaurant once and didn't go in, regretted it for the rest of my life

Dead man wankin! Dead man wankin' here!

Top Chef Power Rankings, Week 10: A Raw Deal at the Bassmaster Classic open.substack.com/pub/vinceman...

Ratatouille but it’s like a tiny dog in your chefs hat and he makes you fuck doggie style.

High on the sides, waterfall down the middle… shit middle school boys all have Flock of Seagulls hair

Loling at "...fiery debate over comedy"

i had a similar thought that lead me to look up how long he's been calling himself that and the answer is since he was 13

I’ll bet the guys that knew Will.I.Am when he was William fucking hate his guts

I know I shouldn't hold onto stupid slights, but I really hope the guy yelling at me for clowning Janet Mills for vetoing that ban on new data centers sees this www.politico.com/news/2026/05...

Byline: “editorial board.” Ah, so it seems you DO believe in collective action, as long as it’s to insulate you from the reputational damage of being a grotesque bootlicker.

I dunno man JD Vance was an under-baby and look how that worked out

Seeing someone’s grandpa tell a large chested model that he wants to do her is the most 2026 social media experience you can have

This dude has barely been president for a year and has managed to thoroughly put the lie to "checks and balances."

Wanted to give this card to my mom but the tent flap feels overly vaginal

/deep sigh, puts on trench coat and propeller beanie Well, I'm off to the posting factory. Son, you're the man of the house while I'm gone.

When you’re tryna figure out what to write on the Mother’s Day card

Lol that UFC decision. Come on, man.