Coworker Laid Off Solely For Performance-Related Reasons Warns AI Coming For Everyone https://theonion.com/coworker-laid-off-solely-for-performance-related-reasons-warns-ai-coming-for-everyone/

This GOOD BOY ran onto the course during the Women’s Cross-Country Skiing Team Sprint event, crossing the finish line and being automatically recorded by OMEGA’s photofinish camera 😆

RFK Jr.: ‘Time In Hot Cars Helps Babies To Sweat Out Toxins’ https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-time-in-hot-cars-helps-babies-to-sweat-out-toxins/

Is the cure to male loneliness the Seattle ‘89 show? Lemme get a hell yeah

Time to dust off a classic

Can’t believe we are still doing this

LOSER

POV you are about to lose at Guess Who

Democrats should promise, today, that Melania Trump, Elon Musk and Peter Thiel will be stripped of citizenship and deported if the administration advances this effort

Guy's Entire Job Just Asking People If They Have Time For A Quick Chat https://theonion.com/guys-entire-job-just-asking-people-if-they-have-time-fo-1819574667/

Pam Bondi: ‘What Is The DOJ Hiding?’ https://theonion.com/pam-bondi-what-is-the-doj-hiding/

Inherent Contempt for all these fascists as soon as we take back the House

Pam Bondi needs to be impeached. With the split in the House and Massie where he currently sits, it could pass the House, and trial in the Senate would be a necessary truth telling exercise.

No appointee of this administration even bothers to create the appearance of doing their job anymore, just openly serving as the president's personal apologist and attack dog. Completely illegitimate government

?

Shut it down and prosecute everyone

See? We just have to play the long game until they’re all locked up for molesting children

This is the second time an ICE employee has been arrested in in a Bloomington, MN underage sex trafficking sting www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/ne...

One of every thousand American residents has been taken into custody by ICE in the last year.

Report: Employers Created 40,000 New Jobs For Existing Employees Last Month https://theonion.com/report-employers-created-40-000-new-jobs-for-existing-1819575878/

This is why primarying people matters. Suddenly everybody involved in this race is in a firm spine contest.

These guys are such pussies

Trump Attempts To Distract From Epstein Files By Gaining 200 Pounds

Listen to this. Not a penny more for this. Abolish and prosecute anyone who had anything to do with it.

Maybe it’s because large swaths of the media are devoted to protecting him in order to protect their owners? Could it be that?

I'm convinced AI is our generation's radium - a discovery with genuinely useful applications in specific, controlled circumstances that we stupidly put in everything from kid's toys to toothpaste until we realised the harm far too late where future generations will ask if we were out of our minds.

doing commercials used to be a shameful thing that you had to go to Japan to do

Nation Furious After Realizing Super Bowl Ad For Kindness https://theonion.com/nation-furious-after-realizing-super-bowl-ad-for-kindness/

give me the ferments and free my soul I’m only eatin yogurt at the super bowl I’m RFK

If there's ever been a time to NOT be incrementalist, this is it. The most political capital you're gonna have is right now. And we got Gestapo death squads in MSP and TB spreading through concentration camps in Texas. If you can't find a win there, get out of politics. The Epstein Class, baby

Social media addiction doesn't affect everyone the same, but for sure it has cooked some people's judgement to the point you should question their ability to manage any position of responsibility.

If there's one benefit from all the Republican criminality and corruption it's that you never have to treat them like good faith interlocutors again. Every currently living Trump accomplice should be treated at most to a reflexive "Eat Shit" for life, and that's better than they deserve

(a guy has pulled my sweatshirt over my head hockey style and is absolutely beating my ass) ME: WHO IS FUNDING THIS??

Look at these fucking goons

Once again, it turns out “fully autonomous” means “a guy in the Philippines.”

Fondly remembering a time when "woke' meant being an anti-vaxxer who thinks jews control the weather, 5G causes cancer, all-meat diets are ideal nutrition, and seed oils make you gay.

top schumering lately. his party's supporters want ICE abolished; he proposes ICE being reformed, & then those reforms are a bunch of half-measures like the agents not wearing masks, & then he waters that down until we land on the agents not wearing masks unless they say they have a reason. 10/10

yikes ok, unfollowing now. really enjoyed her exhibit at the louvre, had no idea she’s in the epstein files.

the rich & powerful are having a class solidarity moment

it’s genuinely reassuring to me that this is the most miserable and paranoid person in the entire world

I think it's best for everyone to understand that the unified class project of billionaires right now is to do to white collar workers what globalization and neoliberalism did to blue collar workers.

Fuck Jeff Bezos. Subscribe to The Onion. membership.theonion.com

Woody Allen and Jeffrey Epstein emailing each other "at least we're not as repulsive as Alan Dershowitz"

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

Just spitballing here, but maybe in the land of the free we shouldn't have a pedophilic ruling elite class, police who kidnap people off the street, and concentration camps?

This shit hits like a sledgehammer right now. It's not even remotely an exaggeration.

liam and his dad are home! and someone please get rep. castro a coat!

Boxer Jarrell Miller's WIG gets KNOCKED Off During Match 🤭🤭🤣🤣

I saw it too: