I like to to hit it (repost you repeatedly) then I quit it (quite accidentally forget you exist for a period of time) because I’m a stone, cold player (nope, just smoked too much weed)

I was going to make a witty observation around people reading history 100 years from now and then I realized how many unrealistic and optimistic assumptions I was making so I deleted it.

Built a castle in the sky. Did not get authorization or permits first. Zoning board is going to kill me.

THEY SHOULD ELIMINATE THE BEST EDITING CATEGORY. MOVIES ARE WAAAY TOO LOOONG. -me, if I were our current President

Puttin the ol spectacles on for this USA/Slovinia hockey game-so much red white and blue in different places.

a movie about the invention of gift baskets called When Harry Met David somebody write that down

No one out here drinks Dunks because it tastes good, doyyy. We drink it bc it’s just kinda everywhere, like despair

I love it when I’m hitchhiking across the desert and a semi carrying ufo parts races by, gently moving my sideburns in the breeze

That noise was a last chance to be right about something, paranoia or just reality or nothing means anything. I listened for what seemed like two meaningful noises and realized I'm philosophically nosey

they should invent a doctor's appointment time that happens exactly when I arrive

These figure skating beauties would kick big Buddha ass at competitive yoga.

Talk about last minute ( or so)…How bout that USA Hockey team!! Wooohoooo!

Whoops, this was supposed to be a draft

i guess i'll have to move to canada to avoid the draft folder

if i had a bunny, i’d name him Bad. if i had a dog, i’d name him Snoop. if i had a cat, i’d name her Doja. if i had a snake, I’d name him White. if i had a hammer, i’d name it MC. if i had a

I tell my wife I'm the boss like every husband does. Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.

Wonder how many Republicans are feeling threatened by Male Figure Skating tonight?

I miss the 70s when you and everyone you knew watched the Olympics every evening for two weeks because TV was crap and there was nothing else to watch.

Don’t you make these Olympics get all up in m’feels, Maxim Naumov. I’m only here for the curling

I become the world’s tiniest lady when I have to reach for the ticket in the parking garage.

Of course there was a guy at the bar tonight who was a curling expert.

For a long time i thought the saying was "existence is futile" and honestly that still makes more sense to me

Wind chimes like awkward singing for the gathering of pendulums, which is called a murder of the earth's rotation the musical

Anyone else open up their email and watch all of yahoo slip away from your phone?

Came back secondhand, born in thrift. It never could have all been brand new but some say there's an invoice somewhere. It would mean we're alive not just curses in old things. Me, I astral project to Etsy

Like any red-blooded American male, I'll be watching the game tonight in my favorite pink lacy thong, caged and plugged, sipping on a soju. But first, Puppy Bowl.

outside of my usual corner of the metropolis. an a ways back...so can't really ID the location, (guessing it's Sunset Blvd) nor artist. Just someone painted this on the sidewalk because they wanted to... Feet added for perspective.

I will also be putting on a half time show but only for my cats

today is like the super bowl for snacks

Windswept on sand for a look that says I will always be there because I have been here always, or perfectly raked perimeter around a campsite for a look that says I'll be with you until the hose runs out

Survived 1st 24hrs as remote cat trainer

Pass me the test tube with the drama in it I have a hypothesis. Now put it back. You just wanna drag me into your science but I almost proved I mind my own business

I fell asleep while a Jellyroll song was on and now all of my neighbors’ catalytic converters are missing

It’s not just that everything he touches dies, it’s that he wants anything he can’t touch to die too.

Holy what the fuck is going on-watching Sinners and totally lost

Student: I spent most of the break on the East Coast. I was working in Dallas, Texas. Me: Dallas isn't really...part of the East Coast. Student: I mean, like, the Midwest.

Another winter birthday in Santa Barbara!

GIVE IT UP FOR THE LOVELY, THE TALENTED @nowimhere.bsky.social ON HER SPECIAL DAYYYY!

The ritual of reading a newspaper upside down in public was not even noticed so it worked, we are now incognito to invisible people reading right side up newspapers

Every day I star in my own before and after ad for antidepressants.

Laying on an icepack but you can only feel it with the good side of your ass. They're going to name that after me. Sorry, Bro. You got an incurable case of Pam Ass.

combination sock slippers clalled Sloppers

I brought a ziplock bag full of meatballs for my work lunch today

Respectfully, I am going to whisper to some of our white comrades a truth that should be more widely known: You definitely have some ancestors to be proud of, ancestors who refused white supremacy, and poured out their lives in many of these struggles over time. Time to claim your true history.

solar-powered oreos

A lot is riding on the autonomic.

The little old ladies who have dogs at my mother’s Santa Barbara retirement community are sharing these poop bags! Some of these gals were so R before all this SHIT!

Take off…

As I pack my lunch in a brown paper bag that I am also breathing into, I can't help but appreciate the simplicity of my first paper bag love, discreet pharmacy item

sorry I snort laughed when I said sorry