Thinking about how back in the day we used to keep a bottled water bottle full of GHB in the fridge, marked with a piece of electrical tape so we didn't accidentally chug it when thirsty.

This is MAGA in a nutshell. 😂🤣👇

Do you hear what I hear?

Hurry up and be over, stupid day.

When your mom spins up her vibrator.

I GENERALLY just prefer black coffee. But a latte just works SO WELL with peanut butter cookies.

I have an unholy craving for peanut butter cookies and the biggest latte imaginable.

Yes Finally Fantastic The most practical use of tungsten cube youtube.com/shorts/4-uA2...

It's even long-expired, just the way you like it!

If you have ever doubted that human beings are primates, our orgasm faces and noises are irrefutable proof.

I saw "Suckerpunch" in theaters like 4 edibles deep and was just so confused. I thought "Maybe I was just TOO HIGH to get it." Later, I watched it sober. And no. Its just kind of nonsensical.

You know what I haven't done in awhile? I've not cracked any Catboy Twink Augustus jokes.

Post hog ergo propter hog

NEWS: A federal judge has ordered the Trump administration to remove Trump’s name from the Kennedy Center, ruling that only Congress can change the institution’s name and directing officials to remove it from the building façade, all physical and digital signage, and official materials.

A limerick. Based on a true story.

Aaannnnnnnd everything is done in the queue again. 6.5 hours to go. Wheeeee.

"Rocket Explosion: what went wrong?!" Uhhh its being made by MBA types who's only real goal is to make money off it?

Making an animated series is arduous work, often times it’s a miserable experience but the one thing that makes it all worth it is knowing I’m making a crew of actual, talented humans suffer and sometimes die by screaming orders at them. Take that away and what’s even the point??

Wait wait wait wait.. are all the 4th tier musical acts booked for Trumpothon 250 backing out? XD

Anyway. Its Friday. So let's get out there and uhh ..not die or whatever. Go team.

Me in 2014: Man the death penalty is monstrous. Surely there are better ways? Focus on rehabilitation? Me in 2026: I want to see the fuckers swing from a short rope. See em shit themselves in fear walking up the gallows steps.

Not in the greatest place brainwise today. But I have OBLIGATIONS this weekend so I cannot just go hide in my hermit cave.

tips on how to save money: 1) simply pass away. follow me for more tips! 💸

Long, long ago I had a coworker named Lance. He was always hurting himself. At least once per week he somehow managed to damage himself. Rarely seriously, but often enough to involve the first aid kit. Anyway, our nickname for him was "Ambu-Lance".

What is a "back rooms", and can I eat it?

I have just been so HUNGRY lately and I do not know why. Im not particularly any more active than usual. But I get hungry faster, eat more, and feel hungrier when I am.

Sometimes I forget I can actually draw and then I do things like this and I'm all "Oh. Right."

This is, perhaps, the most Japanese thing I have ever seen.

Yeah, I'll turn this money in. Turn it into an order of fried chicken.

Thinking about the time I found $20 on the sidewalk on my walk into work early one morning. Said something about it on twitter and some rando started calling me a thief because I didnt "turn it in". Turn it in where, Sharon? This is a city of half a million people. Not a grade school playground.

Cleared out the production queue again. Nothing to do for the rest of the day. La la la la.

Normal people: *Still mad about that time their friend Todd made fun of their outfit 6 months ago* Me: *Still mad about something that happened 700 years ago between people he couldn't possbly ever have even known*

So Mark Zuckerberg's yacht was in Seattle the other day...

King Charles III eyeballing Andrew and wishing there was a tub of malmsey wine handy.

I absolutely DETEST Henry VII Tudor but Richard III was a cunt widget. Sorry not sorry.

It was definitely Richard "Oh hey did y'all hear? My nephews are illegitimate! Crazy development rifht!? Hahaha! Guess Im king now. Wild shit" III what did it. * *It being murdering his nephews*

Soon I am going to have to go fight with the envelope printer and print a couple thousand envelopes and I really don't want to. (I'm the only one who knows how to use it except for the shop boss and he's out today)

"Fluffy puppems" just makes me cackle.

Me: OH MY GOSH WHO'S A GOOD BOY WHOS A FLUFFER WUFFER WHOS A FLUFFY PUPPEMS Werewolves:

Anyway. Today I am doing a bunch of printing for a cancer research center and their funding drive. So at least I feel like Im doing some small amount of good in the universe.

Its adorable watching some people FINALLY figure out that we're living in a corporate cleptocracy run by barely disguised gangsters. Been that way for a long-ass time y'all. It ain't new by any stretch or exclusive to Trump.

My heart's a tart. Your body's rent. My body's broken. Your's is bent.

Perfume (2006, Tom Tykwer) is an absolutely bizarre little film but I recommend it. Sort of a cross of Dangerous Liasons and Blue Velvet. I do not know how else to describe it. Just check it out.

Starting a go fund me for my new app "Pûnchr" in which you pay a small subscription fee and select a techbro douchebag then we kidnap them, bundle them into a car and bring them to you so you can punch them to your satisfaction.

I was not feeling ambitious enough for tacos norteños. So I made some cheeseburger macaroni instead. :P

I have a sudden craving for tacos Norteños. Basically (at least in southern new mexico) ground beef and potato in a corn tortilla, deep fried then dressed with shredded cheese and onions.

You should think about little Frederick then, and how he just moved to Seattle so no one told him that's not the right kind of beanie but he's rocking it anyway

It JUST occurred to me that I have stuff to make peanut butter cookies. Also: oatmeal pecan cookies.

Its dead at work again. So I'm just sitting here trying not to get too deep into my head