I have thoughts about the something or another

ME: team rocket will never steal these rare Pokémon! Not unless they wanna take on me and my fully evolved Miss Cigarettes! MISS CIGARETTES: miss cigarettes

I let the Tetris pieces fall where they may. If that's just the middle, so be it. I'm a busy man

New formula

[board meeting] (slapping both palms on the table) I HAVE TO POOP I'LL BE RIGHT BACK CEO: was that the donut delivery guy

i don't know about you but wow!

Having a coma dream of an imaginary life that's exactly like my own and I wake up screaming

*my friend misgenders me while explaining the rules of a board game* ME: it's "they", not "he" FRIEND: shit, I'm so sorry ME: also I didn't understand anything else you said

Being bad at video games is so embarrassing, what do you mean I got a failing grade in playing toys

Is there a way I can check how many strikes I currently have? I want to advocate for violence again

progress my tasks or die... hmm... tough choice

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life.

i feel like a decent person when i gently relocate a bug that has found its way into my house but would be happier outside on a plant i talk to them in a friendly way and think i might be ok sometimes

happy 420! ehehe. #art #sketch #groundhogs #weed #420day

it's in the interest of plants and animals to kill all of us but they refuse to join forces

damn girl, are you a tiny chunk of cat food? because i just accidentally ate you off a cutting board because i thought you were a banana bread crumb. i don't think i'm doing this format right

i would like to be one of those nature guys but there are too many ticks these days

every second i can't scroll i put one more second into building My Device. and do you know what happens when the device is completed?

it's this for me

German photographer Christian Vieler captures the hilarious moments when dogs try to catch treats mid-air. [📹 vieler. photography] Original post

bro you look incredible. have you been eating protein doritos or something?

you guys ever think about how caterpillars turn into primordial ooze in their cocoon before their metamorphosis into butterflies

Anyone wanna see the funniest 12 seconds that include a murder?

I hate that saying “if you know you know” because no I don’t know

This damn post has absolutely ruined my brain every time I hear someone mention "for the time being." Major kudos to the poster, if I ever meet you in person I will congratulate you and then punch you in the face.

there isn't much documentation of the Basque–Icelandic pigeon language that formed among whalers in the 1600s but at least we know these phrases

we’ve moved on to Vanlife (tm). Next, living in derelict sailboats

Choochoo! It's time for the goblin snail train again! If you have a goblin to join the goblin snail train, please comment them below! This time I'll try to edit them all into one train if that is ok!!

I have never seen an albino fry-up like this in the wild before.

3 stars is good actually

guy whose says "liminal" too much found dead at the end of a normal hallway

Ask not for whom the keys jingle; it jingles for thee

This has been in my head all day to make and I made it so now you have to see it

they are adding a sixth stage to grief called monkey mode

I’m wearing my long shorts and some son of a bitch just passed me wearing longer shorts

Ok step one is to make them look less delicious

Western Gray Squirrel in peak PNW setting checking in for #SquirrelSaturday #mammals #becurious 🦊

I have made like 4 minor social faux pas this morning which means I will be functionally useless for the rest of the day

getting started as a rat influencer

At chili’s

Elsie was hands down the most affectionate cow at the petting zoo.

FRODO: [shoving the One Ring slowly into a dog turd] SAURON: oh EW! what the fuck dude. you're such an asshole for real. great, [gestures to army] everybody, pack it up, go home. yeah. no, im serious! thank this guy right here!