THE Burger King
@aburgeraday.bsky.social
📤 2794
📥 359
📝 1384
Semi-talented mimic. That cargo space guy.
pinned post!
Everyone else is doing it, so I might as well do it too.
go.bsky.app/ERJL1qL
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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THE Burger King
dan mentos
12 days ago
I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises
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THE Burger King
It's Abby. Yep.
18 days ago
I'm not saying life is a vicious circle. But it may be a cruel rhombus. Or a callous trapezoid. At the very least, life is a bloodthirsty parallelogram
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My favorite song about an average guy who lost a lot of weight is Dolly Parton's "Joe Lean".
13 days ago
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THE Burger King
Swim Jeans 👖
15 days ago
ME: I’m not really into horror scenes or melodramatic roles, I can’t cry on command and I definitely won’t do nudity KFC RECRUITER: ok
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THE Burger King
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
15 days ago
ME: Can you show me how to make jelly? WIFE: K. Why? ME: *turns to face camera* No, just the regular stuff.
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Jason
about 2 years ago
My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them? Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
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More like Paul Danot going to be in one of his films.
16 days ago
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You're Audi 5000? Why stop there? Agreeing to an event? Innie 6000. Not sure you can make it? Maybe 7000. Pretty sure you have plans you can't cancel? Don't Think So 8000.
16 days ago
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THE Burger King
Travis comma bitch
19 days ago
kids will straight up tell you that there’s nothing to eat when there’s an untouched head of cabbage in the vegetable drawer
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Jerry Chen
17 days ago
nice bit you got there. be a shame if i asked you to explain it to me
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[If I wrote Star Trek] Spock: Captain, keeping track of time with a device on your wrist is not only convenient but also (puts on Geordi La Forge glasses) chrono-logical.
19 days ago
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THE Burger King
19 days ago
excited to see my post about snow tires is gaining traction . folks,,
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THE Burger King
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
22 days ago
My poetry brings all the boys to the yard And they're like, you're a wonderful bard Damn right, I'm a wonderful bard I could teach you, as it's not that hard
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Netflix: We would like to have a one-night run of the Stranger Things finale in your theaters. AMC, Cinemark, Regal, etc.: We would be delighted to show it in our smallest theaters with our crappiest projectors!
20 days ago
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THE Burger King
Ygrene
21 days ago
an advent calendar with each day providing a small piece of the mystical sword needed to fight Santa when he finally breaks in
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THE Burger King
David Buchanan
21 days ago
users with similar passwords also liked:
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THE Burger King
weeder
22 days ago
Your motherboard? Not when she's with me 😏
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THE Burger King
My wife always wears a cocktail dress to prequels because she can't stand seeing movies out of sequins.
about 2 years ago
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THE Burger King
Chestbursty
26 days ago
We've had one Thanksgiving, yes. But what about 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 Thanksgiving?
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THE Burger King
lanyardigan
22 days ago
Drinking a cup of coffee at 4 p.m. This won’t be a problem
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THE Burger King
Jimmer Cork-Bottle
22 days ago
As soon as the tide comes back in it's over for you beaches.
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THE Burger King
I moonwalked into a police station and got arrested for breaking and entering.
about 1 year ago
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THE Burger King
d.ly
over 1 year ago
[to the tune of The Distance by CAKE] she's reading the discourse she's scrolling through skeets she’s all alone (all alone) all alone in her Bangers feed
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THE Burger King
Ygrene
24 days ago
me: *googling symptoms* webmd: you’re being murdered murderer: see i told you
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THE Burger King
Jason, ex Inferis
24 days ago
To all the elderly ladies who told me I’d be a real heartbreaker when I was 7, I have some pretty devastating news
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THE Burger King
Ray (Krampus mode)
26 days ago
Which parade balloon is the one filled with deadly nerve gas again?
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Accidentally logged into an app I haven't used in like half a year, so now I'm getting 4 to 5 emails a day from the company for the foreseeable future. (The next decade or so.)
26 days ago
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THE Burger King
Frankenfreckle
about 1 year ago
Really enjoyed eating all the repressed sexual energy my mom fisted into the turkey.
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THE Burger King
d.ly
26 days ago
happy birthday, dinner
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THE Burger King
Chris Calogero
about 1 month ago
Finally a MANLY guide to saying what you’re thankful for this holiday season! Sorry ladies, men thankful now!
loading . . .
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THE Burger King
kim
26 days ago
sad news from the thanksgiving day parade: ICE just detained the dora the explorer float.
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THE Burger King
Viktor Winetrout
26 days ago
He is risen
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Hey "Content Creators", it's not a "review" if all you did was "look at it in the store".
26 days ago
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THE Burger King
ceej
27 days ago
thank you for putting a wide variety of $600+ items on your holiday gift guides. I never know how to spend my gift budget of $600+ per person
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THE Burger King
Lock Wilford
27 days ago
Publix had a liquor ad in today's paper that's going to cost me a fortune
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THE Burger King
batkaren
almost 2 years ago
"Your money's no good here." - vending machines
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Why did they make such a big deal about it? He pardons turkeys every day!
27 days ago
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THE Burger King
Jason, ex Inferis
29 days ago
White people love a good pie chart
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THE Burger King
Ygrene
27 days ago
hoping that grandma does not bring her "Pineapple Surprise" again tomorrow because it is actually a live grenade
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THE Burger King
andy vs
about 1 month ago
Coffee isn't enough I stare directly at the sun for 30 seconds
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THE Burger King
Memento (merry) Morty 🌙
about 1 month ago
Our ancestors slept on cave floors and I need a pillow for my head, a pillow for my body, zero light, a white noise machine, and one leg out of my covers before I can even close my eyes
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Billion dollar idea: An egg slicer that actually cuts through the whole egg.
about 1 month ago
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A Dr. Pepper knockoff appreciation day. Call it Thankspibbing.
about 1 month ago
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THE Burger King
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
about 1 month ago
A Bee Gees appreciation day, call it Thanksgibbing
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THE Burger King
Merry Deeksmas 🫶
about 1 month ago
A key ring is a cool little thing that allows you to lose all your keys at once
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THE Burger King
Todd 'Papi' Carlos
about 1 month ago
COP: Where were you the night of the murder? CROW: I was with a group of friends. COP: And what would you call that group? CROW: Uh…I want a lawyer
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THE Burger King
Uncle Duke
about 1 month ago
Larry the loaf enjoying a few blissful moments, unaware that this was to be the last day of his relatively short life.
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THE Burger King
d.ly
about 1 month ago
first date idea: I eat a rotisserie chicken and you're in your home, eating your own rotisserie chicken
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@lalalyds.bsky.social
Happy Birthday! Frost your cake without the cake if you wanna!
about 1 month ago
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My eyes swollen with tears, I gently lower the pizza cutter's remains into the garbage can as my family honors it with a 21-topping salute.
about 1 month ago
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