i cannot find the post anywhere but every time anyone posts the vampire survivors deckbuilder i think about the tweet that was like ‘from the makers of crack cocaine, comes black tar heroin’

Starting a mid-decade redistricting war only to end up with -1 seats is the same fine strategic genius and subtle grasp of game theory that brough us the Strait of Hormuz.

The implicit media consensus is that urban voters should not be able to overrule rural voters, but that rural voters should be able to overrule urban voters, an assumption so axiomatic and unquestionable that nobody even understands they're making it.

BRB, mogging

tomorrow is day 2 of my road trip home from minnesota and i predict it's gonna suck ass

staying in a fancy hotel for a few days is nice but nothing hits like returning to your shitty little apartment where all your garbage ass crap is

Markets ping-ponging between bottom left and top right corner every time someone schedules or cancels a meeting about Iran

First saw this story over on Threads, and people really, really, really did not like anyone correcting misinformation about their misreading of the story. We seem to be moving to some sort of post-reality where people just want fake stories that reinforce their beliefs.

(me, having spent 4 hours completely stationary playing on my Steam Deck) I should brush my teeth in the shower so as to optimise my time

Social media and group chats have microwaved the brains of the ruling and media class. They set that shit to POPCORN and let it go until it smelled like burning.

9% of kitchen table issue dems going "wow, based!" is so funny

this is one of the most unhinged app concepts I've ever seen. I don't even know how to process this

There's a Loki summon in the new Final Fantasy game but after an extremely long cutscene of him getting pregnant by a horse all he does is deal 9999 damage to your own party.

I know about 600 ppl at the local renfair who would kill this guy in under 8 seconds in a swordfight where only he had a sword

Always hate when a brand tanks and they resort to lazy pinkwashing, but it's particularly egregious given Infowars' history of anti-LGBT propaganda. We won't forget!

component cable hair ties go hard

found my new favorite wikipedia picture on an article

one morning gregor samsa awoke and found himself metamorphosed into a hunky seismologist with a heart condition in an erotic visual novel for adult women

i've invented new type of programming function that takes polite disagreements instead of arguments

I get to the airport at the exact right time every time. Anyone arriving any earlier than me is a sap, anyone arriving any later is a reckless nut.

lol i went to a board game night with my sister but was feeling kind of iffy so opted out of the first game which has gone on long enough for me to watch the entirety of Empire Records

i'm happy to see the onion take over infowars. i've been a big fan of the onion for quite a long time and it's given me plenty of laughs over the years. and as for infowars, i really disliked alex jones and disagreed with him on a whole lot of things. so to me, this whole situation is a win-win

Imagine if some sort of tragedy occurred in this room! That's nearly 100 collective IQ points, gone!

Again: young people might not realize that this kind of repugnant racism was unacceptable to express publicly, *not that long ago*.

people who say this act like if they weren't at the airport they'd be at home curing cancer. what exactly are your big plans for your extra 45 minutes at home you fuckin loser

sector 420

telling someone in 2010 that Apple is on top today because they make good computers people can afford

How To Live A Good Life #oldknees

🍀

horseshoe theory is real. leftists almost got kat abughazaleh elected into congress and now it comes out that her boyfriend owns infowars…

I’m on every one of these shows and I think Scott is too

i don’t get this post. is it supposed to be funny

Kurt Vonnegut on buying an envelope

Watching baseball @jonbois.bsky.social

Naming my security company after the giant evil eye that, crucially, was too distracted to see the actual threat sneaking in

It annoys me that AI slop, specifically, has ruined the niche of the quick photoshop joke. Just an utter flood of garbage unleashed by removing the barrier of "spend a couple hours learning how a piece of software works".

the greatest "Infowars Parody" was adult swim's TruthPoint, invented by @dril.bsky.social and myself we've retained the IP, so the onion guys are allowed to help us revive that program. would love to work with them 😉

Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

You look like the MCU design of The Hamburgler

My final surprise for Fanfest.

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director. Please stand by for more.

Absolutely incredible. NASA Astronaut Reid Wiseman, who commanded Artemis II, took this footage from the far side of the Moon with his iPhone. Watch with sound on.

How men in movies feel about women in glasses: Haha. Eeww! What if I bonk her disgusting glasses when we’re making out?! Grody! How men in real life feel about women in glasses: If we leave now we’ll be in Vegas before sunset. How do you feel about the name change? Doesn’t matter. Whatever you want

This dev has likely impacted your life without you even realizing it. Love your software maintainers, chat. It's thankless work. #ffxiv #xivlauncher #linux

i need someone to poll "Would you know what I meant if I said I was 'waiting for it to happen'?"