Responsibility for thee but not for me

There's not really anything beyond "a whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again"

Scenes from the Continental Idealism Convention

As someone who does not like AI it's kind of glaring how little a lot of the people who criticize it seem to know about it. I don't know a lot either! But I don't pretend that I do

It's funny that folks will be like "I don't care if this site is dying I hope it dies I don't even like it here" and then Bluesky has a couple days of server difficulties and the same people are like "Excuse me this site seems broken how am I supposed to complain that I don't care about being here?"

bluesky is and has always been a posting retirement home for elder millennials

In general, you shouldn't be policing art at all! Why are you being an Art Cop? Does the world need a new, more obnoxious breed of cop? You can do so much more good for the world by highlighting and spreading the word of great artists, rather than busting out the calipers and shaming people.

doing a “husband’s run” (early morning grocery run for a missing breakfast item, because i get to wander the store and get whatever else i want) but committing the “husband’s folly” (forgetting the one item i was asked to get, eggs)

Frantic nurse: We're losing him! Doctor who thinks irritating pessimism is savvy: You're a fool to think we ever had him

Showing up at Saturday greenmarkets all across the country and asking vendors if they've "got any lung meat" in a voice that sounds like a skillet falling down a flight of stairs.

i thought Ovechkin was entering a decline phase in 2017

there's never been a drum solo i actually wanted to listen to. "but John Bonham--" nope. sorry!

I'm trying to be more positive, and also more negative

there are so many things i hate about the fascist project, but administration officials making up increasingly absurd lies about the amazing mind of Donald Trump is way up there

i keep seeing people talk about Tavares shifting to the wing. how is that going to happen? what centre are you acquiring that puts him there? there is generously one 2nd-line centre who may actually change teams in FA and it's Charlie Coyle

Been saying this with @ashrivats.bsky.social but the Gillis/Mehta duo feels like a best case scenario www.nytimes.com/athletic/716...

This is a good one too, though it goes around all the time more because it's distressingly apt rather than laugh-out-loud funny.

i say this as someone who enormously enjoys these movies: all of these riffs are perfect

my only real point on the BlueSky discourse is the same as ever: if you don't know someone and they quote you in an annoying way, block them

Very good piece

very alarmed at how much of the chatter is "the Leafs should hire Doug Armstrong"

The most important qualification for any incoming GM is that they fire Craig Berube. Lots of mistakes have been made but this team has no excuse to be outshot 2-to-1 most nights, and it's made a flawed team look unplayable

no idea why you would be certain of this

i may have invented this man www.baseball-reference.com/register/pla...

you only hire John Tortorella if you're at least somewhat angry with your players

I say this as the fan of a team whose GM should be exiled to live on an asteroid: the amount of rope Yzerman has gotten despite doing a pretty lousy job is insane

(downloading a document I wrote) MICROSOFT: are you fucking nuts? This thing could have the Hell Virus. I put you in protected view for your own good! Don't edit it. DON'T EDIT IT

Gimme the beef, boys and free my soul I wanna put beef In my eating hole and drift away...

My God how many cheques do you think are physically signed anymore

could you assholes stop winning for a couple of weeks

Retrospectively I can see that *South Park* and *the pilot episode of The Newsroom* were both early expressions of a homegrown form of alcoholism that was beginning to shape and color Egyptian life...

one thing that has always been true in hockey comments: the dumber the take, the more bizarre the spelling of Russian player names in it

I think there's real emotional nuance & anguish in loving art from people who suck - I couldn't stop loving Neil Gaiman's works when i found out he sucks, they'd already made an emotional imprint on me - but I did stop buying Neil Gaiman's works when I found out.

First, the good news. The bathwater has been disposed of.

Dad Suggests Arriving At Airport 14 Hours Early https://theonion.com/dad-suggests-arriving-at-airport-14-hours-early-1819573933/

There's a small town I pass through every few months, and since COVID it has had a perennial Convoy/Rightwing Freak protest on its main street. At peak you'd see 30-40 of em screaming and honking. Last time I saw they'd rebranded to hating Carney...and there were four people, looking embarrassed

guy commissioning a bust of himself: how will you determine the shipping charges me: weigh a head of you

when I see a bad take: [this person follows me]: oh man, they must be having a rough time, best to give grace. [this person doesn’t follow me]: what a credulous dipshit, a stupid loser who believes idiotic things

By the midterms the median American voter will not remember any of this

will never stop marveling at the efficiency of the writing in the Peak Simpsons years. this joke is escalated like five times in three lines of dialogue across ten seconds. the last letter escalates it. it's so perfectly tuned and there's like a few dozen of these little runs per episode. fuck off

selectively endpointed market charts will not save the world from Trump, volume one billion

Chuck Norris jokes were the first memes that people who weren't funny could join in on. A true harbinger.

I don't think I'll watch The Pitt just because every post I see about it written in the tone of announcers watching a concussed player be stretchered off

One thing this website needs is a better class of reply riffer. Lots of joke restaters, people turning everything into politics, nitpicking dorks etc.

Mrw I accidentally become God Emperor of the Vacuums