"We're going to create superintelligence" How about making outlook search work first. How about that

slightly ominous mailer from the Red Cross

And now for today's good news ... a wonderful librarian now has a full time job getting people excited about books. All kinds of books. Even the diverse ones that the government doesn't want you to read.

"When you interrupted my story with a story about yourself, I was so, so glad."

The cast of Saved! looks a lot different than I remember.

I have no need for genAI. It would improve nothing in my life. It wouldn't save me time. I could not trust any text it assembled. It cannot research. It cannot write like I do. It cannot create like I do. It cannot justify its existence or its expense. It is not inevitable. It is not unavoidable.

What movie do you consider "perfect"?

"Right now, the most important thing is for us to come together as Americans and stop listening to those voices who would push us apart. That is why asking me to stop beating you with this sock full of quarters will only further divide our nation." www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ask...

Back when I was in college and wrote for the school newspaper I wrote a whole thing about the Telecommunications Act of 1996, which eliminated media ownership restrictions, and how that was going to fuck us over forever and people were like "Dan, I dunno this is an art school," well eat shit fuckos.

You know what can do this shit right now and you can’t blame WiFi for? A fuckin cookbook lol, maybe invent a book

It is the job of the Democratic party to sell and defend the policies that most Democratic voters want, not to present a candidate slate that is palatable to moderate Republicans who might switch if they hate their own candidate enough.

You want to be alive, but they want you dead. We’re a new, well, funded democratic group that thinks you can meet them halfway.

What's being "protected" is not "free speech" but rather the RIGHT for white men to be white supremacists in public without any criticism or any consequences. I hope that's clear.

Debate is a hobby. It’s not a thing you do to understand another person. Listening is a thing you do to understand someone.

Conservative white men are not used to actually being the victim of violence which is why we are seeing such a massive fear reaction from the Right disguised as “where is your EMPATHY, perform it for me RIGHT NOW!”

update: male loneliness epidemic solved

Let me tell you something…. Cool ranch Doritos????? An experience

When did "unleash" become the go-to buzzword for government officials/statements (particularly the GOP)? Talking-point-ass corporate jargon bullshit.

Wife: I'll buy a subscription to any publication that writes one honest story about the "masculinity crisis" that just says "Men want to be able to treat women like shit and still get laid" and just be done with it. There's no more depth to the discussion. There is no nuance.

wrapped in chains, howling in the basement as my crying wife presses her body against the door to prevent me from leaving the house to buy another shacket

All is forgiven. For now.

A saga, in four parts. @darthbluesky.bsky.social

In America we have city cops, different cops for your county, cops for the whole state, cops for soldiers, cops for malls, presidential cops, cops for the stock market, mail cops, federal cops, cops we secretly send to other countries. Even your neighbors get to pretend to be cops. We’re very safe

every day there is some of the worst news imaginable and then we all have to keep sending emails and filing reports like there hasn't been another mass shooting or another deeply reported feature about the horrors of war, technology, and new policies designed to hurt vulnerable people even more

Tim Curry on the set of The Three Musketeers (1993), in costume as Cardinal Richelieu, holding an original GameBoy.

You know what never gets old? People in inflatable t-rex suits visiting t-rex skeletons in museums

A lot people are proudly ignorant. It’s wild. If I’m clueless about something, I keep it cute and quiet.

the only one I even come close to trusting is the guy whose cats watch him cook, because presumably they'd call him out if he did anything out of pocket

You don’t have to be mad online, you can be on a train hurtling somewhere else listening to “Hey Jealousy” the hit 1992 single from Gin Blossoms. You can be free.

can i explain the gap on my resume? uh okay…thought this was obvious but that was when i didn’t have a job. you okay man

[writing the constitution] Benjamin Franklin: Write down "no dumb fucks as president" Alexander Hamilton: Stop saying that Benjamin Franklin: I'm tellin' you. You're gonna regret not writing that down

teachers! excited to share a new website at this late date of Aug 15 to try to help us collectively prepare for back to school in the interpretative humanities classroom assaulted by the AI grift, so we don't have to go it alone. take a look, share, + most importantly: CONTRIBUTE against-a-i.com

No, I don’t like you. No, I don’t want to be around you. No, I don’t value your conversation, opinions, or even your safety. Yes, the world would be better off without you, and I’m starting with not having you around me. Make people feel REALLY bad about being in league with fascists.

Finding out Christopher Guest DIDN'T CALL JAMIE LEE CURTIS BACK when she saw his photo in Rolling Stone and left a message with his agent and said she wanted to go out with him. He agreed when they randomly ran into each other months later at a restaurant. Almost an ALL-TIME BAG FUMBLE

“I love making women upset” is a really underestimated motivation of modern conservatism

My brother did not ask me to do this, nor did he know I was going to, but I made him a mashed potato volcano for his birthday. The number of potatoes this required was shocking but otherwise it was relatively simple to do. A side effect is a freezer full of leftover mashed potatoes.

we've lost the art of cutting high-waisted, full legged trousers that will show off a man's buttocks

"Got any ideas for that Beech-Nut Gum ad?" "I was thinking a circus clown and strong man sharing a couple sticks backstage." "And they're in love, right?" "Of course they're in love."

when they close it all up, I do believe this will go down as the funniest video on the internet

I am extremely excited to have written a new little piece for @mcsweeneys.net! It’s about those weirdos who are trying to live forever! I hope you like it!

If men want to cure their loneliness problem, have they considered getting back into writing songs about failed expeditions through the Northwest Passage?

Ozzy is one of like 3 people in Decline of Western Civilization Part 2 that comes off as a decent human being and I always love the scene where Penelope Spheeris interviews him making breakfast while he explains the ups and downs of the business.

Toxic Masculinity is OUT! Ghost of Christmas Present Masculinity is IN! - Loud laughs - Roasted meats and spiced drinks - Hospitality to strangers - Living in the moment - Singing in public - Body positivity - Emotional generosity - Sick robes

increasingly pissed off when i have to do captchas now. i am getting every part of the motorcycle. i am doing what you want. what the fuck do you mean i did it wrong. do you want me to NOT get all of the motorcycle.

Society says, "It's OK to take your phone out and look at it while walking." But, does society know the consequences???

Do not lead the goats.

this is the writeup you get when you ask the ad agency to undo the thing you forced them to do

Art is inefficient. Care is inefficient. Joy is inefficient. Humanity is inefficient. Don't let them take that away.

peggy came home with a list of names she didn't believe in transcendence "and it's time for a few small repairs", she said peggy came home with a vengeance

i am not a "hustler". i am not "on the grind". i do not want to "work hard play hard" and this company is not my family. i want to do my job and go home 👍