I do hope that, someday, we get a list of who declined Isaac Chotiner’s calls

I can’t remember who called him Ser Allentown Dominguez but that’s the only way I can hear his name now

Phillies aren’t even in it anymore and I still have to watch the Phillies bullpen cause drama.

Trolling each other since 1054

Damn This is 🔥

In about an hour we’ll find out if the Philly mob guy was lying about the good pork chops

On today’s call with my aunt I was telling her about the mob pork chops and she reminded me of her Five Fingered Meatloaf recipe that she got from a former coworker at the bank who ended up indicted for embezzlement

New health system gives a printout after the visit with bmi prominently featured so it’s pitchforks at dawn

someone posted after 2016 something like "i just dont know how to convince you that you should care about other people" and i think about that a lot

well there’s your problem

Philly mob pork chops did not happen this weekend due to reasons so I’m making them for a late dinner tonight will report back

If you’re looking to donate money to food banks please don’t forget to check to see if your company will match your donation! If they’re big enough they may have a third party administer matching donations and you’d be surprised at the breadth of organizations that can seamlessly receive a match

It’s extremely frustrating that I picked my doctors in a non-catholic health system only to have that health system bought out by a catholic one Health care in this county is so stupid and I’m saying that as one of the lucky ones with the good insurance in an area with a lot of specialists!

How is it already Monday again didn’t we just do this

I like this and agree with it but Guillermo del Toro is quickly becoming the world’s number one source of inspirational quotes we can post on Facebook as we age into embarrassing aunt and uncle ages, gonna embroider that shit onto a pillow and paint it on an old wooden board

M has gotten me watching Nobody Wants This and I can’t decide if I like the sweet love story or Esther more

Kids doing the eagles chant and hand to god the bird responded

Complimented a woman at the zoo on her tiara and she’s was like yeah I love it and when else do you have an excuse to wear one, so I told her about emergency desk tiaras and formal meetings

If you have it please donate cash to the food banks. $10 in their hands will feed more people than the $10 worth of canned goods you can buy for retail prices. Also check on your elders. Many of them will not admit they rely on these programs so grocery gift cards or a surprise bag of staples

Wanna see an incredible autocorrect

I’ve written about a lot of horrible historical figures in American politics and I always get earnest questions asking “but did they really believe that?” I get the curiosity but I tend to remind people what they do in public is vastly more important than what they tell themselves in private

Today’s middle aged lady relationship tip is marry someone who never thinks they’re too old to go see some animals shred pumpkins

"Tzefardea Tzedek" (Frog of Righteousness) As soon as the Portland Frog became a meme, Jewish social media blew up with jokes about the 2nd Passover plague - tzefarde'a (frogs) - and the Rabbinical commentary around it. I knew I had to make a calligraphy piece encompassing all of it. (more in alt.)

I am now 50. This shit should be illegal.

Girl’s dinner going really well as friend says gonorhea is forever as the waitress walks up to the table

Go Birds

Chaos! At the Costco today as about a third of the parking lot is closed for resurfacing and people were like fuck it and moved the cones and just parked on the milled surface anyway

I’ve got 8 so lots of story options, but how about an unexpected and nice one? My Alex P Keaton uncle sent an email to the whole family before hosting the Christmas get together a few years ago that said in essence: my kid’s significant other is trans and if any of you are assholes gtfo of my house

I have extremely complicated feelings about anything to do with weight loss because fuck diet culture, but I’ve lost a bunch of weight after a few years on glp 1s and for the first time in like 20 years I was able to try on hiking pants *in a store* and that’s pretty rad

M has returned from produce junction with an unholy amount of cherry peppers so I guess we’re making the Philly mob pork chops this weekend

It’s giving Gritty

hey what if I cried

Brilliant thread is brilliant

It is somehow fitting that the first sport to fully overwhelm the timeline on the retirement home for millennial posters is baseball, the Spreadsheet Nerd's sport.

Ok I was gonna say this as a joke but I’ve thought for a minute and I would like to see it Harry Kalas, Richie Ashburn, and John Kruk

Ok. I’ve found it. I’ve found the one thing that will make me actively cheer for the Blue Jays.

M is watching the Philly mob doc and I just made him rewind because I think maybe the dude who keeps saying literal hit men are nice guys, family guys may have dropped a good recipe?

Imagine Ippei sitting in jail watching the World Series start with Ohtani/Betts

We really need to put together a “Philadelphians Guide on How to Sports”

New thing to play around on at 1am when I should be sleeping just dropped

i think what online needs is a new video of a nazi getting knocked out

In exciting personal news I’m pretty sure there is a mouse in our walls

Caught a glimpse of Marty while I was doing my popsicle run to Giant and I don’t think I’ve ever seen 2 people bond more fiercely than my mom and friend did a few weeks back over their intense hatred of this thing. Like I think 75% of our drive down to the stadium was them spewing bile about a robot

Related: a parenting hack that worked well for us is dump a bunch of frozen uncrustables in a lunch bag before going to the zoo or amusement park or whatever- boom cheaper lunch whenever the kid gets hungry

Just thinking about this as I can’t log off for the day until someone on the west coast sends me their last update for a deck I need to send out today

With the caveat that I of course understand that this isn’t actually what it’s about… Sure. Go ahead and do all the classical architecture you want, but I think you should have to paint the neoclassical stuff to look like it would’ve in actual classical times

It's not lost on me that the part of the White House we are destroying is the part that has to do with women's history in the White House.

Laser and tattoo studios who offer pro-bono or heavily discounted work for removing/covering up Harry Potter and Nazi tattoos are doing great work.

My sister texted me last night after seeing this to ask if the edible had kicked in - how presumptuous and rude and also correct which is why I didn’t catch that stupid auto complete at the end