Alexa, show me something written by someone who has an absolutely terrible relationship with her parents.

PICK UP THE PHONE

Happy Easter, shitter's full

*three* red cards? Good CHRIST

NASA, an organization dedicated to precise timing and calculation, *completely misses the post* and radio folks across the planet are devastated.

And then share the story about why Burt Reynolds was crying doing his ADR!

This Easter weekend, many parents will be looking for a movie to keep their children under six amused and distracted. May I recommend the perfect film? It's even bunny-themed: WATERSHIP DOWN

Regardless of the regular status, they should have done something for you including asking for a dry clean bill.

FLASH FLASH FLASH: BRENT IS OVER 1000

:51 - :53 needs to be a meme

OK, engagement bait time: At a restaurant you are a semi-regular at, eat there maybe once a month. In between apps and mains, the waiter spills an entirely full glass of soda on you, soaking your pant leg and shirt. Because you are soaked and uncomfortable, you ask for the mains to go. (1/2)

an inspiration for us all. she got out.

Fucking around leads to finding out.

Top load LGs with no agitators. Trust me on this.

Another pretty great shot taken by one of the crew

#Jets #Bills #Patriots #Dolphins #nfl #NFL #nflmemes #afceast

I know a close friend is a big UCONN fan, so I will stay out of that conversation, but Dawn Staley ready to go full boots to ass is hilarious.

SEAN EVANS: As you tackle the fires of Da Bomb, a two-part question as a Chicagoan and a Pope: one, who wins a best-of-7 between the '05 White Sox and '16 Cubs, and two, as part of the Nostra Aetate dogma of Vatican II-- THE POPE: (coughing) fuck! SEAN EVANS: careful around your eyes Your Holiness

Dr. Arroyo

this is what gritty kidnaps you in

The Aaron Nola Mile-High Experience

NASA has some explaining to do

I’m not waking up everyday thinking about “engagement” Here’s a cool book Here’s a cool movie Here’s a cool butt

Watching four people eat dinner in fuckin' space. That's rad, man. Space.

Today I engaged in the time honored tradition of beating one’s niece and nephew in Mario Kart. (Then I told them to have their dad or uncle play me on Easter and they’ll feel better lol)

I have been burned by the Yankees too many times in the past five years. They consistently starts to lose steam around Father's Day. That's the time to really start paying attention to them.

The worst start of the season by a Yankee:

After taking time to connect with the Pretti family and with their consent, we are honored to share that we have created the Alex Pretti Nursing Scholarship. For those interested, you can learn more and make a gift here: crowdfund.umn.edu/campaigns/Al...

Oh, happy day 🥰💙⚾️

Aaron Judge.

Is it just me, or whenever you switch up deodorant, you say to yourself, "Goddamn I smell good."

Science is so fucking cool, and about half of my country are too stupid to care.

I mean, it has Carson, Hope, and Betty White. Literally 3/4 of a Comedy Rushmore right there.

I mean, this is how I've gone through life so far...

@thequeso.bsky.social put this guy on the worst Matts li— …. shit.

EKERSLY1.BMF

Tapping the sign

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: outlook's haunted nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and booking a flight to Redmond, WA* outlook's haunted