Today's newsletter: Sunday's action, an ump had a bad ABS day, a comebacker magnet, Baz's extension, Heyward retires, comparing closer entrances, some home run data visualization, chaos at DHS, and capybaras on the loose. www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

A lot of SCOTUS decisions are dumb, badly reasoned, even dangerous, but merit compliance out of respect for the rule of law and the Court's position under Article III. A decision denying birthright citizenship is a challenge to the constitutional order and should be understood as such.

This is like drinking depression from concentrate.

Local Bully Calls Timeout After Opponent Has Hands

Because of ABS, player heights had to be re-measured to get accurate zones. Turns out that a bunch are shorter than their "official" heights said. Anyone who has been close to ballplayers knew that a lot of them lied about their height but it's funny to see this. www.nytimes.com/athletic/715...

Today's newsletter: Sunday's action, an ump had a bad ABS day, a comebacker magnet, Baz's extension, Heyward retires, comparing closer entrances, some home run data visualization, chaos at DHS, and capybaras on the loose. www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

Per YouGov Rahm Emanuel is the 78th most popular Democrat, behind everyone from Michael Dukakis to Barney Frank. He is 12 places behind Harry Reid, who died five years ago. To the extent anything's happening here it's *entirely* media-driven. yougov.com/en-us/rating...

"bombing a founding myth is more likely to consecrate it than to dissolve it." This is a fantastic column. www.nytimes.com/2026/03/29/o...

Today's newsletter is out! Inside: Sunday's action, an ump had a bad ABS day, a comebacker magnet, Baz's extension, Heyward retires, comparing closer entrances, some home run data visualization, chaos at DHS, and capybaras on the loose. www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

We’re rewatching “Schitt’s Creek.” I don’t know if there was anyone as funny as Catherine O’Hara as Moira. Every single line delivery is perfection. She just batted 1.000 for years on end.

Friday: My brother tells me he might go Saturday's Tigers-Padres game. Saturday: I text him during the game, "you there?" No reply. 10AM today: He calls me, mentions he ended up not going to the game. Just now: I get a text from him, responding to last night's text, saying "no, stayed home"

I need all of the companies to get together and agree on either the space bar or the right arrow to execute the auto-complete function. I don't care which one, but I want consistency across all platforms. Seriously, clean this shit up, guys.

Viator has hired Samuel Johnson to handle its direct marketing.

When your company is doing well

You need to pay for news

Between Baz and Luzardo it's not a great afternoon for dudes who just got multi-year contract extensions.

spurs' natural replacement would presumably be igor stuart.

I don't know how a foreign outlet like the Daily Mail plays into this but, historically, when a right wing rag is raking down right wingers it's because other right wingers have the knives out for him and are orchestrating a hit. bsky.app/profile/empt...

Igor Tudor is out? Guess it's pretty hard to follow in Thomas Frank's footsteps. At least if you're not Keith Andrews.

Looking back at "Best of 1994" lists and. see someone referring to Jarvis Cocker of Pulp as "Joe Cocker" and ho-lee-shit that would definitely change the flavor of a lot of Pulp songs.

If you're a 100+ MPH-slingin' closer and you're gonna come out to a song from 1994 it should be something off of Portishead's "Dummy"

I was just called a "grandpa" for not liking a Korn song that is 32 years old. Call me crazy, but if you're passionately stanning for a 32 year-old song you're in no position whatsoever to accuse someone of being a grandpa.

Of all of the sins my generation has to answer for, nü metal is by far the worst. bsky.app/profile/nume...

it would be crazy if it happens while you're on a plane because some of the passengers would start crying and like have no where to go for hours while everyone else is really happy and laughing and going nuts

This is from the Wikipedia page for the TV show "Hunter." I'm pretty sure that it was written by the character Hunter.

"Let's look at the tomfoolery on that last pitch" -- Jason Benetti.

Brant Hurter is the most 1986-lookin' motherfucker I've seen in a while. I still cannot believe that Zoomer dudes have brought back Magnum P.I./Matt Houston-core.

I think the Tigers solid road alternates are marvelous, aesthetically speaking. I'm still sad that they stopped being traditional about uniforms.

Too many extra innings games today. Please eliminate one. I am not a crackpot.

Whole lot of people at Columbus’s #NoKings protest this afternoon, starting at the Ohio Statehouse and marching through downtown

Few people know this, but the tinderbox of Europe was set alight and the world was plunged into horrifying war when Phillies first baseman Bryce Harper, pictured below, traveled back in time to 1914 and assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand. bsky.app/profile/wpie...

Speaking of World War I, I spent a bunch of time earlier this week reading the (very thick) military record of one of my 2x great-grandfathers. He was English and fought in the Second Boer War. Then after emigrating to Canada, he re-upped in 1915 at the age of 47. [cont'd]

During this week's coffee visit with my parents they asked me to explain (a) the rise and fall of the British Empire; and (b) World War I. Like, all of it. So I was over there for four hours, my throat is now shredded from me putting the proper outraged emphasis on it all, and they are appalled.

Yeah, well, tough shit my man. Maybe do less evil and you wouldn't have this problem. The body doesn't lie. www.politico.com/news/2026/03...

The Declaration of Independence specifies 27 grievances with King George III and Britain. Donald Trump and his regime have committed at least 20 of those same offenses highlighted in yellow. #NoKings

I'm glad they're participating but I think it's funny that in countries that have kings they call the protests "No Tyrants" rallies.

If you’re looking for the absolutely shittiest, smallest loaf of bread ever AND you want it to cost $9.19, may I recommend you acquiring celiac disease? It’s the best man.

In today's newsletter I wrote about A.I. sommeliers and how, actually, it's OK not to know and optimize every goddamn thing. www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

Two of the people involved in this scheme, including the guy who took $4 million in bribes, literally killed themselves rather than face justice yet some jury is gonna let these dudes off. Unreal. bsky.app/profile/ohio...

But what is Iran going to actually DO with 5,000 emails about penis-lengthening products and hangover cures? bsky.app/profile/fint...

My brother: *texts me 50 individual photos of his latest haul of Topps Heritage cards over the course of a 90 seconds, not stopping even if I beg him to* Also my brother: *totally refuses to respond to urgent texts in which I need crucial information about something that only he can provide*

I would've expected more from the composer and performer of "A-hab the A-rab" bsky.app/profile/dave...

For years, Ohio's GOP supermajority has simply chosen to ignore any laws it doesn't like, including recently-enacted constitutional amendments, by passing stuff that directly violates them. At worst it's satisfying vice-signaling by culture warriors. They hope, however, R-judges will ignore the law

Foley, Hartman, and Root were just an absolute murderer's row on "Newsradio. If only we could go back in time and (a) give Andy Dick's part to like Chris Eliot or someone; and (b) cut out Rogan altogether. bsky.app/profile/erup...

Today's newsletter: Real Opening Day, dead birds, Tommy Pham, Chourio's ouchie, the top 20 jerseys, foreign-born player headcount, the military-technology complex that killed hundreds of Iranian schoolgirls, A.I. sommeliers, and Sir Paul. www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

I'm going to come back to this paragraph from today's @craigcalcaterra.bsky.social newsletter today often. Puts into words what I feel every time I hear about someone asking AI to make every random decision for them. Just try it out! That's what being a human is for!

Today's newsletter is out! Inside: Real Opening Day, dead birds, Tommy Pham, Chourio's ouchie, the top 20 jerseys, foreign-born player headcount, the military-technology complex that killed hundreds of Iranian schoolgirls, A.I. sommeliers, and Sir Paul. www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

Yeah . . . I can see it. www.dispatch.com/story/entert...

It's the name of a vaudeville act from 1928. bsky.app/profile/neil...

In addition to saying nice things about Oneil Cruz in that podcast today, I also said that the White Sox were going to be respectable and that the Brewers are due to lose their Devil Magic. Please hire me for your sports predictions.