Looking back at "Best of 1994" lists and. see someone referring to Jarvis Cocker of Pulp as "Joe Cocker" and ho-lee-shit that would definitely change the flavor of a lot of Pulp songs.

If you're a 100+ MPH-slingin' closer and you're gonna come out to a song from 1994 it should be something off of Portishead's "Dummy"

I was just called a "grandpa" for not liking a Korn song that is 32 years old. Call me crazy, but if you're passionately stanning for a 32 year-old song you're in no position whatsoever to accuse someone of being a grandpa.

Of all of the sins my generation has to answer for, nü metal is by far the worst. bsky.app/profile/nume...

it would be crazy if it happens while you're on a plane because some of the passengers would start crying and like have no where to go for hours while everyone else is really happy and laughing and going nuts

This is from the Wikipedia page for the TV show "Hunter." I'm pretty sure that it was written by the character Hunter.

"Let's look at the tomfoolery on that last pitch" -- Jason Benetti.

Brant Hurter is the most 1986-lookin' motherfucker I've seen in a while. I still cannot believe that Zoomer dudes have brought back Magnum P.I./Matt Houston-core.

I think the Tigers solid road alternates are marvelous, aesthetically speaking. I'm still sad that they stopped being traditional about uniforms.

Too many extra innings games today. Please eliminate one. I am not a crackpot.

Whole lot of people at Columbus’s #NoKings protest this afternoon, starting at the Ohio Statehouse and marching through downtown

Few people know this, but the tinderbox of Europe was set alight and the world was plunged into horrifying war when Phillies first baseman Bryce Harper, pictured below, traveled back in time to 1914 and assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand. bsky.app/profile/wpie...

Speaking of World War I, I spent a bunch of time earlier this week reading the (very thick) military record of one of my 2x great-grandfathers. He was English and fought in the Second Boer War. Then after emigrating to Canada, he re-upped in 1915 at the age of 47. [cont'd]

During this week's coffee visit with my parents they asked me to explain (a) the rise and fall of the British Empire; and (b) World War I. Like, all of it. So I was over there for four hours, my throat is now shredded from me putting the proper outraged emphasis on it all, and they are appalled.

Yeah, well, tough shit my man. Maybe do less evil and you wouldn't have this problem. The body doesn't lie. www.politico.com/news/2026/03...

The Declaration of Independence specifies 27 grievances with King George III and Britain. Donald Trump and his regime have committed at least 20 of those same offenses highlighted in yellow. #NoKings

I'm glad they're participating but I think it's funny that in countries that have kings they call the protests "No Tyrants" rallies.

If you’re looking for the absolutely shittiest, smallest loaf of bread ever AND you want it to cost $9.19, may I recommend you acquiring celiac disease? It’s the best man.

In today's newsletter I wrote about A.I. sommeliers and how, actually, it's OK not to know and optimize every goddamn thing. www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

Two of the people involved in this scheme, including the guy who took $4 million in bribes, literally killed themselves rather than face justice yet some jury is gonna let these dudes off. Unreal. bsky.app/profile/ohio...

But what is Iran going to actually DO with 5,000 emails about penis-lengthening products and hangover cures? bsky.app/profile/fint...

My brother: *texts me 50 individual photos of his latest haul of Topps Heritage cards over the course of a 90 seconds, not stopping even if I beg him to* Also my brother: *totally refuses to respond to urgent texts in which I need crucial information about something that only he can provide*

I would've expected more from the composer and performer of "A-hab the A-rab" bsky.app/profile/dave...

For years, Ohio's GOP supermajority has simply chosen to ignore any laws it doesn't like, including recently-enacted constitutional amendments, by passing stuff that directly violates them. At worst it's satisfying vice-signaling by culture warriors. They hope, however, R-judges will ignore the law

Foley, Hartman, and Root were just an absolute murderer's row on "Newsradio. If only we could go back in time and (a) give Andy Dick's part to like Chris Eliot or someone; and (b) cut out Rogan altogether. bsky.app/profile/erup...

Today's newsletter: Real Opening Day, dead birds, Tommy Pham, Chourio's ouchie, the top 20 jerseys, foreign-born player headcount, the military-technology complex that killed hundreds of Iranian schoolgirls, A.I. sommeliers, and Sir Paul. www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

I'm going to come back to this paragraph from today's @craigcalcaterra.bsky.social newsletter today often. Puts into words what I feel every time I hear about someone asking AI to make every random decision for them. Just try it out! That's what being a human is for!

Today's newsletter is out! Inside: Real Opening Day, dead birds, Tommy Pham, Chourio's ouchie, the top 20 jerseys, foreign-born player headcount, the military-technology complex that killed hundreds of Iranian schoolgirls, A.I. sommeliers, and Sir Paul. www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

Yeah . . . I can see it. www.dispatch.com/story/entert...

It's the name of a vaudeville act from 1928. bsky.app/profile/neil...

In addition to saying nice things about Oneil Cruz in that podcast today, I also said that the White Sox were going to be respectable and that the Brewers are due to lose their Devil Magic. Please hire me for your sports predictions.

The Mets signed Tommy Pham and then a couple hours later a bird up and died right next to their rookie right fielder. Please don't insult me by claiming that those two events are unrelated.

Kyle Schwarber homering sorta puts a dent in my Curse of Team USA thing here. Does he not realize that I have priors which I am seeking to validate?

An alien came into Oneil Cruz's hotel room overnight, ttook over control of his body, and is trying to fake being a ballplayer today.

Free newsletter today. In it I talk about the fall of the American Empire, with heavy reference to the fall of the British Empire. It's a longish essay, and I hope you read it all, but these chunks get you most of the way there. www.cupofcoffeenews.com/cup-of-coffe...

Opening Day

I used to think that spring training was way too long but taking a few days off of it to put Opening Day on March 25 was, in hindsight, something of a mistake.

For year scientists wondered if Lowes could survive outside of Tampa Bay, but we're learning the answer to that question is yes.

Cruz havin' a day

Aaron Judge and Paul Skenes are, statistically, the two worst players in major league baseball in 2026.

I like when a just-retired player gets an analyst job. Partially because they have more recent/current stories and insights, but mostly because there's a non-zero chance they'll autopilot to player mode and use the word "slapdick" on a live mic.

I'm blacked out of Pirates games usually. That may be for the best after today.

Judge, Skenes, Webb all eating shit on Opening Day. The Curse of Team USA is in effect

Almost in the Air Force, almost finished the first inning

I was on a podcast literally this morning in which I was asked what players I like to watch and one of the guys I mentioned was Oneil Cruz

The "run in six feet, then have to run back for a ball over my head" was my signature move when I played the outfield in the mid-80s

Oooooohhh Neil Cruz

Cristopher Sánchez being retroactively awarded the 2025 Cy Young before this afternoon's Rangers-Phillies game.

I sorta want to see the Pirates do well this year but not gonna lie, happy to see Skenes struggling a bit.

I know it's early and they have plenty of time to mess it up, but kudos so far to NBC for broadcasting a baseball game instead of a talk show with a baseball game in the background.