Going through security at the Eiffel Tower, looking nervous because I had an engagement ring in my pocket, the man in front of me was loudly insisting that it was ok to bring his knife with him because it was his favourite knife.

This is the maddest tour I've ever seen in my life. It seems like he's doing more gigs than there are days in the year.

Might compile all the inane 'From 'x' to y:' BBC football website headlines of 2025. The ones that are like 'From 'baby who couldn't play football' to potential Premier League star: The rise of Amad Diallo' etc

Plus ça change...

David Byrne’s best song is ‘Lazy’.

A Flake is just a Twirl that's learnt to trust the world again

What very normal thing did your wife spend her weekend making?

lol this is 114 in peabody i'd recognize it anywhere. the carwash is actually named maddy's but the photoshop is top tier and i can confirm as someone who drives by this place multiple times a week that they always have funny ass signs up on that screen

Swapping hot Springsteen pics with my mate and we're both loving it 🩵

Went to Kylie

Very wholesome to see a bunch of kids at the cup final buzzing off that palace opener

How would I describe myself? I am like a vintage wine. And by that I mean I wish to be left untouched in a cold, dark room.

Ah yes. Wrexham. The heartwarming story of the underdogs with infinite money who somehow managed to climb the leagues.

Woah, woah slow down there Michael Palin with your in-depth diaries.... A cat, you say?

Oh there we go. Proper headline

Went to Wembley, team won, saw a cat

I didn’t think you were allowed to use that word now

Consumed with a massive need to declutter, today. With that, I’m realising that I need to do something I swore I would never do again: take boxes of unsold records I foolishly manufactured to the recycling centre. OR if anyone would like 120 copies of a COVID-themed disco album, just shout

It's getting buried, but Houston will almost certainly not have representation in Congress until January 2027. Democratic Rep. Sylvester Turner died nearly a month ago and Republican Texas Governor Greg Abbott has simply decided not to call a special election to fill the seat.

Me when the Telegraph's promised civil war finally pitches up

We don’t talk enough about society’s greatest privilege. An enclosed porch for deliveries.

It Doesn’t Have To Be About You.

🚨 Officially one month to go until the 2nd annual Oxford Pop Culture Buzzer Quiz 🚨 As a reminder, this means there’s still a little time for teams to sort your uniforms and walk-on songs

New hair, who dis?

Watching BBC journos (and others tbf) trying to get their head around Trump’s tariffs is as painful as it was watching them try to understand Brexit. They either cannot or will not countenance politicians deliberately and knowingly causing harm to their country. Their normalcy bias is off the scale.

eric clapton: (throwing his kid out a window) i’m going to write the shittiest song in the world about this.

Christophers Lloyd and Walken, from a 1974 stage "Macbeth" (Lincoln Centre). Every time this photo turns up I stare at it hypnotised, like a snake in front of a dancing mongoose. Just wondering what it could possibly have been like. Astonishing, I suspect.

I am not a German speaker but Thomas Mueller is very good in this Adidas advert. Get him acting like Cantona. youtu.be/ydp6TASRTAg?...

Avanti trains as on brand as usual.

Noone:... Absolutely Noone:... Met Police: "yeah quiet night sarge time to raid the fucking Quakers"

I mean, I will almost certainly not read this but I'm kind of surprised about how snarky people are being about James Patterson's use of ghost writers. He's very transparent about it and gives them credit (unlike many others).

One thing I found unrealistic about The Man in the High Castle was that more Americans weren't fighting back. But I've changed my mind - in reality, the level of cowardice in the face of authoritarianism is enormous.

👍

“I know mugs don’t actually have feelings. But I can’t help feeling that somehow, deep down, they really do.”

ME-EE-EE-EE-EE AND TG, TG JONES, TG JONES, TG JONES, TG JONES. We got nothing going on.

I slagged off WH Smith's a lot but it was a savvy brand, being in airports, collaborating with the Post Office, but towards the end it was disgustingly expensive

I hope some Grandad made this in his shed because he refused to buy plastic tat. It's so much better than the real toy. Bet the kid hated it and called Grandad a cheapskate though.

A long piece on the German War Graves Organisation that is definitely worth reading.

Imagine not loving Hildegard of Bingen though

Drivers who give you a dirty look for not thanking them for stopping at a zebra crossing make me laugh. Oh sorry i didn't congratulate you for obeying the law.

"tourist submarine" is at the same level for me as "hobbyist neurosurgeon"

It seems that “disabled people who are unable to work or who need support to work should live a comfortable life and not struggle” is a radical opinion in this here race to the bottom UK

Even if you accept the premise and decision, which I absolutely do not, it is the simplest thing to phone the visa holder, tell them their visa is revoked and say they have a month to leave the country. Accosting someone on the street like a kidnapping is just a spectacle of terror.

Every time I see a sob story about transphobe being “silenced”:

Smashing! I've got one of those. www.express.co.uk/mentalhealth...

Shanine! I didn’t know you were on here. Lovely to see you and congrats on the TV appearance.