If the afterlife isn’t real, how come my late cat talks to me from heaven telling me to get a fluffy kitten & he will visit me using it as vessel for his spirit. Yet another inconvenient thing for the ‘scientists’ to explain

“And let me be clear, I don’t care what all you do in your fancy suit in your off-hours, I’ll tell ya, what ISNT in the shadows is your tax returns.”

I hate the collective manic episode we call Christmas, I try to keep a grip & then it has me thinking I want hairy shoes flabelus.com/collections/...

This must be an awful era to have health anxiety because the press run *SO many* 🚨’thought I had an itchy nose but I had stage 4 cancer’ 🚨stories. GPs must be dismayed too. Even tho you logically know the ‘it was just an itchy nose’ outcomes don’t make the papers, it has an effect

Sultana and Corbyn act like they were put together in a competition by Simon Cowell and now they're contractually obliged to go on tour

There will come a day when I tire of reading about the Your Party uncivil war. Today is not that day. observer.co.uk/news/nationa...

‘It’s one of those’ is a phrase that gets criticised for being meaningless cliche but every time someone shrugs: ‘it’s just one of those’ I know exactly what they mean. It conveys 1. We’ve seen it before & 2. We can’t do anything, so why stress. Essence of British

observer.co.uk/style/featur... absolutely beautiful piece about Rachel Cooke by her husband.

I know lots of people who love a Do, and the associated frock action and mingling, but I am fully aware I will be the person who utters ONCE THE SWELLING GOES DOWN just as the room falls silent for a word from the CEO

Realising how many empowerment memes for women boil down to this

The CURRENT sitting MP for Clacton earns £511,000 as a presenter for GB News and took £281,000 as a brand ambassador for Direct Bullion. So maybe sit this one out, you rancid herring.

‘I love being middle aged, I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks anymore’ says person not previously known to be behaviourally circumscribed by this concern

My auto correct just delivered me the words ‘Egg Tharp’ if you need a protagonist name for a deeply felt portrayal of boyhood in a touching coming of age saga that crosses the ‘Fleischman Is In Trouble’ space

If I can subscribe to your service online but have to call up to unsubscribe then you just want to make it hard to leave, which is a good reason to unsubscribe

The papers keep confusing ‘rich people who don’t self identify as rich’ with ‘people of minimal resources who are being dealt unbearable & unjust taxation blows in this communist nightmare’

Listening to Jeff Buckley yesterday on a walk through town & saw a pigeon with a little disabled foot, like a wad of chewing gum, hopping awkwardly. Absolutely untenable feels at this point in menstrual cycle

My dream last night was sure there is a Coldplay ballad called ‘Digging Potatoes’

I love Gail's work. I did a generic repost and then cancelled it to say this instead - just reposting is easy but feels a bit impersonal sometimes? And since I have actually bought from Gail several times I thought it was worth saying so. It's good stuff, and a small business well worth supporting.

Apologies for research Q: ✍🏻 - if you get married at a registry office with just 2 witnesses, is there a paperwork bit for the marrying couple before or after the vows that the witnesses aren’t needed for? 👰🏻‍♀️

A wild @mhairim.bsky.social appeared, and was super effective!

Me at 9am: a fresh week, a positive mindset Me at 4.51pm: why can’t literally everything go piss itself

I know Taylor is architect of own downfall with her clues & Easter eggs, but I still find the frenzy of literalism where her lyrics can’t be *made up cool stories* rather than honest testimony, very odd. Like we are going to demand police check if Jake Gyllenhaal’s fridge had an interior light

Amongst other things, this is the problem with the "triangulate with Farage" theory of Labour government - the right does not have a limited list of demands - every time you try to appease them, they just go further.

Restaurant news: snouts are having a moment. I’m a carnivore but this stuff makes me feel like the Cleveland Torso Murderer

Might as well say this now

Male friend: ‘Why do I have to do it, why can’t you download the file to your laptop and send it to them?’ Me: ‘I’m not Gary McKinnon’

Sophie Ellis Bextor having five ginger sons is like a Hans Christian Andersen

Carte D’Or rum n raisin is the most ‘car keys in a bowl’ retro dessert. That or rum baba with glacé cherry

Free three months of Apple TV activated, just in time for Slow Horses next week. @mhairim.bsky.social

‘I've been working with this now for about half an hour. I can't figure it out.’

Nothing we know about Trump’s diet makes me think he’d like milky nettle pudding as a starter.

An incredible legitimate concern seen in London on Saturday. (📸 @eamonn-forde.bsky.social )

God, Bros were dogshit

the extent to which Elon Musk believes he can simply post the world into his preferred shape can't be overstated

Friday night dipping chocolate biscotti in a cup of Earl Grey while watching a Scandi crime on iPlayer

The existence of Betty Boo doing the do implies the existence of Betty Boothroyd doing the doothroyd

Definitely suspicious when an Air BnB property has too many photos of pink cava & 2 goblets on a television tray to bulk the album. Also do not recommend ‘view of house from POV of lurker smoking cigarettes while plotting.’ This is the artwork on the back of a Lisa Jewell thriller

Charlie Brooker was right about Banksy.

That very clever @jderrfuss.bsky.social, who created the map of my reviews in my Linktree (in bio) has now developed a page tracking new hospitality openings across Nottingham. @mhairim.bsky.social this one is for you.

The world would be depressing anyway at the moment, but there is something peculiarly crushing in being on a bus that's heading straight for a cliff and everyone screaming to change direction and the guy at the wheel maintaining that only he knows how to save everyone and it's definitely this way.

Thrifty Shades Of Grey youtu.be/ID0rqEWrN44?...

I don’t think any piece about Reform’s conference speakers should be published without mentioning that they’ve allowed an anti-vaccine conspiracy group to host a panel. Sadly this story doesn’t flag it

Nigel Farage looks uncomfortable as Jamie Raskin uses his opening statement to absolutely demolish him

Guys, I’ve just seen the worst job advert in the world. Absolute state of this.

Sometimes I think I could go vegetarian & then I see a £20 main of carrots baked in salt for Sunday lunch

Told my brother that I suspected the woman he fancied had Munchausens, to which he replied I’d munch her hausens

"i've got access to the kids, but they don't wanna see me"

Watching the last Mission Impossible & latest Superman and think cleverly done exposition may be a dying art. Whole scenes of half a dozen characters just explaining the plot to each other, brazen as you like