New assistant coach Ravelli arrives, sells Groucho a variety of tactical manuals in bewildering permutations. Meanwhile the strangely silent team Doctor spots a pretty girl in the stands, honks alarmingly and takes off to hand her his leg.

Any time I'm down there it always reminds me of this bit from The Prisoner - Free For All.

"We must perform a Quirkafleeeeeeeeeg Ooooh. You know your onions..."

SATANUS OLD ONE EYE, THE HAG TYRANNOSAURUS Those two, then all other dinosaurs afterwards. THAT IS THE ORDER

“And I thought; what would the Queen Mum do? So I smiled and said ‘We shall have fog by teatime.’” - Kitty

I'm going to assume "dinosseurs" is a misspelling of "dinosaur" and not some hideous attempt to make "dinosaur connoisseur" a thing.

What astonishes me is that they got hammered for 20 grand when they did this against Slovenia in 2014, and they obviously thought oh, we'll just do this again then. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Is that Mel's "Time and the Rani" outfit lying on the floor behind Sophie in the third picture as well?

If this meant we got David Battley in to play Doctor Who, I'd be all over it.

Back from the Doctors. Recurrence of symptoms Bells Palsy for poor Luisa, but the Doctor seems to think a few days of steroids will see it off, thank god. Uber drivers both ways - we couldn't have done it otherwise - and in both cases, they were so thoughtful, so *nice*, I wanted to hug them.

You look like you need a Puffin. Have a Puffin. 📷️ Sue Wood

Broken the glass on the emergency Jellyfish supply. God, "New Mistake" is close to a perfect pop song, isn't it? www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gkgv...

An emergency which has meant phoning the Doctors this morning, and startled to find they're using hold music which sounds almost identical to the start of Marillion's "If My Heart Were A Ball It Would Roll Uphill". At least, they answered before the rhythm section crashed in.

Reminds me of Nish Kumar proudly brandishing his "clubman of the year" award, and suddenly crushingly realising that it amounted to a "we had to give him SOMETHING" trophy.

Lets all answer their SOS Bogarde and Eggar and Justice, No Less

It's been a long time since I've watched "Clarence", but I can't believe Ronnie Barker's pseudonym would have got past me at *any* point. Nonetheless, it did.

Finally it's my moment to shine

Somewhere along the way, this became The Thing That Liam Neeson Does. I can't say I'm not tempted though.

George Roderick as Mario and Roger Moore playing you-know-who, sharing a moment in the first episode of "The Saint". Mario has just said to Simon, "sometimes, I feel I don't know you at all". Leading to this.

The banks don't mess about with their text messages these days, do they.

The Munich Beer Hall Putsch, 1923

England are losing, and John Stones is down injured. The camera cuts to Mick Jagger. Guy Mowbray says some pre-scripted thing about "He won't be feeling much satisfaction." YES BUT THERE'S A PLAYER CALLED 'STONES' DOWN INJURED. MOWBRAY! YOU HAD ONE JOB.

<William Dozier On> But WAIT. What's THIS? Oh-ho-HO! Can it be Zara Death Pants, back to plague Gotham once more? Can she be stopped? Can the man with a taste for crime defeat the woman whose crime is taste? Tune in next week. Same Bat Time... <William Dozier off>

"So... Monsieur Deschamps... France defeated tonight. You won't get to leave after this tournament as manager of the world champions. Any thoughts on that?" "Gaaaaarn.... COBBLERS!"

God knows I wish them well tonight but this... well, this is just tempting fate.

Another one of the BBC's Best Things Ever. One of the most remarkable, absorbing, addictive, downright *immersive* adaptations ever. Truly great television drama.

William Dieterle, one of the directors who revolutionized Old Hollywood, was born #OTD in 1893. Last year, I wrote a book on Dieterle, whose classics include The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Devil and Daniel Webster, and Portrait of Jennie. If you’re curious, it’s here: www.amazon.com/dp/B0FK127P37/

Sorry Thomas Tuchel, I know you have a proven track record as a club manager and have now managed England to the World Cup semi-final but Eddie Cooper on Facebook who works for Screwfix and lives for his kids "no matter what anyone says" has posted "play mainoo ffs!!!!!11" Big error, Tommy T.

If you go - and for GOD'S SAKE, why wouldn't you? - to the Discogs page for "Saints and Sinners" by Whitesnake, you'll find the cover's hidden. The cover is a very silly version of Canova's "Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss" with additional snake. I assume Discogs disagreed with the bumpy bits.

I've just discovered that a piece of music I love dearly is actually a cover of a sixties thing. Specifically, "Flash", by The Marquis of Kensington. Both of them are *chef's kiss*. Here's the original. www.youtube.com/watch?v=dar_...

There's only one person who I can think of could justify two pairs of pervert specs. Come to think of it, the sod probably invented them in the first place.

This has just popped up again, and it's *wonderful*. The isolated horns and strings from YMCA. Amazing sound. www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnMa...

Fred Allen and Tallulah Bankhead take aim at morning radio and give it both barrels. The levels of sarcasm in this, delivered by two absolute experts at it... it's glorious. www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQq5...

Can hardly contain my excitement writing about this lady — in a newsletter about radio history! Tallulah Bankhead, you guys, will be in Continuous Wave. Sign up so you don't miss her: continuous-wave.beehiiv.com

Last RT this happened to us. I still feel sick when I think about it.

The scary rise of locksmith scams: ‘I was shut out with my baby – and charged £2,200 to get back in’

In this day and age, when everything is fraught with uncertainty... when everything's confusing and there's nothing left in the tank... ... there's always the picture of The Kitten From Underneath to keep us going.

Timothée Mallette

France, this entire tournament : elegant, precise, despatching the opposition with such ruthless precision it's impossible to imagine anyone else winning this thing. Where have *that* team gone tonight?

"Somehow, Matterface returned"

"Neanderthal Man" has just popped up on this compilation I'm listening to. Another dispatch from an alien dimension where they don't do pop music in quite the way they do in this one. Still sounds *extraordinary*. Still sounds off-kilter, off-balance, woozy, and I still love it to pieces.

The Ottowan. And if he still has energy after that, The Liquid Gold.

Just started "Introducing The Toff", by John Creasey. 30 pages in and he's been machine-gunned off the road, put the fear of god into a local thug called Harry the Pug and drowned a tarantula somebody's sent to him in a hatbox. Eat your heart out, Charteris. Take a back seat, Durbridge.

Something I've discovered today - most versions of "September Song" seem to bring me to the verge of tears. Whether it's an exquisite studio production or belted out in front of an orchestra, or by some beloved actors playing about to amuse themselves; that melody makes me cry.

Really rather beautiful.

"Verify your age" "Well as you may know, it's the General Election tomorrow so if you want to watch the next installment of this Jackanory story or find out The Secret of Steel City, make sure to tune into BBC2 tomorrow afternoon, where you'll find all your favourites"

A random Humph ISIHAC moment has popped into my head - one where he's almost tipped over into giggles. A Mrs Trellis letter. "Dear Dr Clare (she begins). Tits like coconuts..." (pause to try and hold it together) "...and if you leave out some milk they'll have that as well"

Mrs Trellis of North Wales, Bunty Hoven, Angus Prune and Eric Pode of Croydon among the correspondents who are enraged by this development.

Spinal Tap's first ever appearance, from "The T.V Show" (1979). Rob Reiner as Wolfman Jack, Loudon Wainwright III on keyboards. Yes, I am reading "A Fine Line Between Stupid and Clever", why do you ask? www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzux...