As a guy with half a trillion dollars, I have lots of options: 1. Enjoy a 100% stress-free life doing whatever I please in unfathomable luxury all over the world with people of my choosing 2. Have 87 meltdowns a day on a website

And so they’ve done their best to make menopause something that isn’t talked about in polite society, the same way they’ve made everything about women’s bodies taboo. If they can’t make older women invisible, they try to make them monstrous in our stories.

We know almost nothing about it scientifically, we are taught nothing about it and how to deal with it, and we have almost no language to use to communicate about it.

Our society is obsessed with adolescence—all the stories, all the media, all the romanticization and horror of it—because it is the only metamorphosis cis males go through, and metamorphosis is legitimately a big deal. But people with uteruses go through a second one, and it is ignored.

They have left us with so few archetypes of the post-menopausal woman as leader, as hero, as sage, as savior, they have positioned menopause as degeneration rather than transformation, and they have left us without language for any of it.

I fought so hard to escape my father’s house and then the whole nation turned into my father’s house.

When you begin to suspect the vet visit might bankrupt you

I'm going to find a pet psychic to get to the bottom of why, at 2 am every night, my dog brings a mouthful of her crunchy food onto my bed to eat, one at a time, next to my ear

he was the dumpster fire burning in my heart

the US university system is one of the great wonders of the modern world and it should be celebrated rather than attacked at every turn by dipshits who don’t know what we have

One of the greatest disservices we do to ourselves is retcon Trump's 2024 campaign into something it wasn't, a tightly disciplined killer messaging machine, in order to paper over the chief mystery it raises, which is how it wins. But it was no different than anything else Trump runs: a train wreck.

No one has taken a breakup harder than 1-800-Contacts. Bro, I just wear glasses now, you've got to move on.

Pretty wild that one of the two parties decided that pretending someone who talks like this — dementia, general stupidity, whatever — is deserving of more reverential deference than anyone in American history

all this sweaty calvinball horseshit feels like hysterical panic from the court

Bath time, baby shampoo, puppy print pajamas, bare feet, wet hair with neat comb marks. Books and giggles, stuffies and snuggles. 300 toys strewn on the floor downstairs, sippy cups in the sink. Each day the same as before. The growing invisible to the eye. Time wins of course, but I don’t forget.

My favorite mother’s day cartoon from the stupendous @rosemarymosco.com

the worst thing about having such a good memory is all the memories

Today in YouTube's My Real Dad: changing a miter saw blade

The response to the SCOTUS decision in red statehouses shows not only did the rise of Trump condone official racism, it’s encouraged gleeful racism.

Look if you've got a better way to run a country than "putting an illiterate octogenarian bigot on TV every few days to free associate and complain, and then everyone tries to figure out if it means we're about to start a war or not" I'd love to hear it. But the constitution says this is it.

beautiful sunshine and blue skies for the first farmer’s market of the year. I wonder if there’s any correlation between “going outside” and “feeling happy”

hot take: women are less likely to use AI because we’re quick to clock flattery as a tool of manipulation

This ridiculous creature has seasonal allergies 😒

Me: How do I *feel*? Crippled by sorrow. Imprisoned in my own consciousness. Like a man with no parachute in a burning plane Dr: I meant your ankle

Shit like this is why god doesn’t talk to us anymore

I wish we had met before we both turned bitter.

The dog, very put out by being football-carried to the basement in the middle of the night, wants it to be known that she did not choose to live in the Midwest

I don't have a lot of regrets but I really squandered all my best collagen dating stupid assholes

Lately I’ve been finding it harder to care about stupid bullshit that doesn’t matter

I may have actually saved a man's life by recognizing that something was wrong with him and continuously hounding him to see a doctor. (He is not grateful)

It’s like Robert Frost said: I’ve got shit to do before I sleep And more shit to do before I sleep

I only cut my grass so my house looks bigger.

I’m literally sitting by my kitchen window staring at the hummingbird feeder, willing one to appear like a child staring at the night sky on Christmas Eve hoping to see Santa and his sleigh.

You’ll survive but you’ll be funnier in ways that worries people

My proudest accomplishment this year is being able to park both vehicles in the garage, and it's not even close

Unlovable tangle of emotions, logging on

Who needs antidepressants when you have new clients?

After I do yard work, my body holds a grudge and somehow is madder on day three.

I maintain that among the media's biggest mistakes has been continuing to ask Trump questions as if he's a normal guy instead of asking things like "Can you explain who Jesus is" or "Describe the process of pumping gas"

he's counting on people not knowing what a doctor looks like because they don't have healthcare

At this point I think Trump is as curious as the rest of us to discover how far is actually TOO far for Republicans.

🎶 And so I wake in the morning and I step outside And I take deep breath And I wish he’d die 🎶

what the hell is going on

A multi-day severe weather outbreak, with some tornadoes, begins Saturday. If you find this graphic overwhelming, so do we... there's just a TON to plot/discuss. These outlook zones come directly from NOAA/SPC.

Home Depot guy: ok and what is it you’re trying to build? me: I’m trying to trap a djinn

I spend the first 60 minutes of every day in denial about my own existence

I am aging in fucking dog years because of this lunatic.

there's just no way that strange women lying in ponds distributing swords could be even half as bad as this

I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine

It would be nice if mainstream media would report the obvious fact that the president of the United States is out of his mind. Seems like a highly relevant fact that the media have buried so far, in betrayal of their duty.