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My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and— I said look. Look with your eyes! Oh now you’ve gone and touched it. The paint is peeling. My beautiful paint! I’ll have to call my pool guy back. Vandal! Antifa! I said look And despair Nothing but the algae remains.

If Waffle House doesn’t make this their new slogan, then capitalism has failed

Ok this is a truly great tweet

The Bluesky motto

I already dealt with this.

I used to be good at Computer. Now Computer thinks it is good at me. But it actually isn’t??????

Normally when an investment bank wants to invest in I dunno, say oil, they'll go get an oil guy At SoftBank though I think they just rip through a baggie of nootropics and watch ted talks at 2.5x

do you want "Catholicism but american" we invented that, it's called Episcopalianism and it's even more woke. all the priests are lesbians. good luck

One day, "It" will happen, by which I mean sudden and unexpected news that you want to celebrate. In such cases, you will want the right outfit. 🧵

Trump does not think strategically, historically, geographically, or even rationally. He does not connect actions he takes on one day to events that occur weeks later. Allied leaders know that if they help him in the Gulf, he won't be grateful, or even remember www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/0...

the tankers yearn for the mines

I know it’s the Wild West out here but it is still incredibly reckless to do this with the levers of our government and basic functions of our infrastructure.

You can still shoot a person on 5th avenue as long as it is not a corporate person

The Supreme Court:

"this doctrine we made up, we can't agree on what it is, but we all agree it's very important and gives us the ability to do whatever want"

Five of the past 10 years have had storms with an "M" name reach category 5, make landfall as a major hurricane, and cause 50+ deaths and $10B+ in damages: Matthew, Maria, Michael, Milton, Melissa (TBD but seems certain). Watch out for Marco next year.

George Soros : wait there were how many protestors? Aide : over 7 million sir George Soros : i am never gonna financially recover from this

A lot of centrist commentators who genuinely got worked up about the unforgivably insulting nature of "cling to guns and religion" or "basket of deplorables" are weirdly silent about Trump portraying himself as literally shitting on American cities

anyway

Twitter right now

this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake

Sherman's March through the Sea

Just incredible

I… do gotta hand it to Bret Stephens.

the american electoral system is basically 500,000 information-resistant people across a handful of states taking a guess and then going "haha! oops!" every two years. this process takes 18 months and costs four trillion dollars every time

Then: Horse in the Senate Now: Horse in a hospital

Nice one whoever when to the trouble of cropping my signature off this one Prints here: jimll.co.uk/products/mil...

the specific callouts of “never go on dates” and “never pay taxes” are starting to make me think elon musk might actually be the only autistic person rfk jr is aware of

Good morning. A reminder that historically when the US has wanted to punish other countries, it imposed sanctions on them, cutting their people off from global trade, hoping to create enough economic havoc that they rein in their leaders. Trump has imposed economic sanctions on the American people.

From my Atlanta home, to yours: Happy Confederate Surrender Day to all who celebrate— and doubly to all those who don’t. Perish all compromises with tyranny!

thank you to Kendrick and the Eagles for making terrible people angry tonight

super bowl postgame show link

And I saw a pale horse, and his rider was Death, and Hell followed close behind him.

Muting Tom Brady, turning on the Philly police scanner

He knows the song is not about him, right? Like I get the confusion, but its not about him.

imagine believing a victor hasn’t been determined

Snoop and Tom Brady: say no to hate Kendrick: actually

Drake is the all-time biggest loser of a rap feud and that includes people who have gotten shot and died as a result of rap feuds

RONALD REAGAN (1988): We should be aware of the demagogues who are ready to declare a trade war against our friends, weakening our economy, our national security, and the entire free world—all while cynically waving the American flag.

HAPPY FIFTH ANNIVERSARY to Susan Collins saying Trump learned a “pretty big lesson” from his first impeachment. thehill.com/homenews/sen...

I will be thinking about this tweet for the next four years