I love to try to wind down after a week of grown adults freaking out at me by cooking a large meal, and what I love more than that is to walk into the grocery store and see a small child having an absolute earsplitting hall of fame meltdown for twenty straight minutes while his parents just hang out

This was yesterday I don’t know why my family tolerates me

I love to go to the grocery store to get a single item and come home with like $45 worth of deeply discounted treats on accident

Sound Design is my Passion

dick's nice and all but clean your room you nasty bitch!

lol

looking down at my phone and ignoring the fireworks to scope out some fat anime girl ass

The first titty has been popped out at the barbecue

“Salute to America Immediate Evacuation” is an instant classic.

it is 76 degrees here with a strong breeze which i declare to be the ideal weather

It is very funny that I went through rTMS to fix my depression and then, like, six weeks later had several very upsetting and depressing things happen in quick succession. I cannot imagine how much worse I'd be feeling if not for the big magnet. I would probably be a statistic

The more I dig into this old synthesizer the more I am convinced that the stuff people were doing in the 90s was Dark Magic and we have lost the old ways

Ernest Borgnine on Channel Two

Oh and here is said puppy. His name is Kermit, he is four months old, and he weighs 7 pounds. I adopted him from a shelter because I’m not a weirdo

PORTLAND FRIENDS does anyone have a contact for a good employee-side labor attorney, preferably one versed in union matters

Attention ALL women…. I am your friend!!!

this doesn't even have the full context which makes it funnier

my autocratic nondescript son Choward says he won't finish his dinner because of its "ludonarrative dissonance"

I have given my disgusting electronic son the gift of life

If it happens on the 250th then American exceptionalism is real

marie gluesenkamp perez heard all those jokes about penis inspection day and was like yep lets make that real. lets decide who goes to college and who doesnt based on penis inspection day

"you're scaring the hoes" ENOUGH. do not project your own cowardice unto the hoes. I have heard their words and seen their deeds, and you besmirch both. die where you stand

Well this isn’t a very big deal given how cheap digital storage is. Now to take a big sip of water and open Newegg

does anyone who follows me have any idea how to rig an external synthesizer into Logic Pro 12.3 using a MIDI interface

Thank you so much for all of your happy birthday wishes. Honestly, I don’t really feel 100. I feel pretty good. I feel like I’m only 98!

who was this?? they were cooking

Unemployment deposit is finally pending AND I just got a $7 class action settlement. Money Mindset All Day Every Day

With Elon Musk becoming our first trillionaire, I talked to American users of the rapidly growing “Almost Homeless” subreddit, who are struggling to stay housed amid a brutal job market and with social services slashed to the bone. They say this online community is crucial to their mental stability.

BAH! Enough talk! My <Beam Blast> shall make short work of you!

Picked up a shift at the bar tonight and forgot that the food truck is closed on Mondays. Who wants to bring me a snack

This is how every 70 year old conservative man gets fleeced for their life savings

"Weird Al" Yankovic has always been a real one. Just learned that he very recently turned down "a nice pile of money" to shill for A.I. Damn right he did. @alyankovic.bsky.social www.syracuse.com/entertainmen...

Available until July 6th, which is also my birthday, in 4 different colors. roryblank.bigcartel.com I will cut it off early if I think it's going to become difficult for me to manage fulfilling all of them. I pack every order by hand myself, you know.

Everyone's already said every joke and otherwise rude thing about this that could be said so I won't jump on that, but I do think the tacit admission that the Dems have absolutely zero ground game is an important one! When was the last time a Democrat knocked on your door? 2012 or earlier?

I had one of these. It said NUTCRUST in big letters on the side like a pimp cup

Ads you get after trying to buy furniture online once

Big problem with the farmers market is that I am a creature of habit and shop like I’m not, which means I come home with a week and a half worth of baked goods as a man who doesn’t eat many carbs and two pounds of produce that I can’t possibly consume before it goes bad

I have this problem where my husband is always cheating on me and I’m always busting him and putting it online. I just celebrated our six year anniversary by handing him divorce papers for the 12th time in front of our children at his side piece’s house.

We need to adopt as a nation a politics of kindness and empathy and peace. And to do that we do as a nation unfortunately have to put a bunch of specific people in the ground

I should call her

It takes a special kind of creep to stand out for sleaziness among NBA owners.

I sliced up a bunch of radio shows and sandwiched them in between two pieces of a 1950’s child’s birthday party 7”

Horney's (on Main) Clinton, IN

Hey - I just wanted to say that last year I asked Councilor Kanal to look into an abandoned massive housing project in my neighborhood, and not only did he look into it, the city funded the gap with some of that extra housing money - so now a new developer will actually finish the project this year.

You ever lose something interdimensionally? Dropped my AirPods case in my dad’s driveway and they both popped out. One landed about a foot away. The other is completely gone. “Find My” lists it as “Far” no matter where I stand. I looked for hours. That motherfucker is GONE