Goddamnit, Dutch. What other errands do you have us running for the DA

Did Bear Grylls’s camera crew have to drink their own piss too?

Abolish ICE is just the first step. Send everyone involved to The Hague is the second.

Wouldn’t *you* like to know, weather boy

My dude you were a small timer with zero pull who is now making a living talking about things actual gangsters did as if you’re some authority.

Attractive blonde people are never to be trusted. They have had life too easy.

It’s Albays Subby in Philabieldia

Ok now which looks better 1 or 2? 2 or 3? 3? Ok good, 4 or 5?

The most important thing to remember from the sandwich guy trial is that cops are lying liars who lie every chance they get

I’d like to thank all my big account followers for rarely reposting my skeets, both because most of my skeets are mid and also I don’t need a shitton of people trying to explain my joke back to me. I have no idea how any of you deal with it on a daily basis.

12 Hangry Men.

hearing the prosecution will seek torta reform

I’ve worked in EEO investigations for a decade and people who believes things like this just want to be able to say slurs and ogle women at work without consequences. They want to say things like “you seem upset, are you on your period?” They resent ever being corrected or told they’re out of line

AOC posted a video about this the other day explaining that Marge is doing this solely out of spite because Trump told her wouldn’t back her if she ran for senate.

First time I’ve been happy to see Nancy Pelosi’s name since 2006.

Sucks that we have a president who is a piece of shit in his own right but it’s some how worse that he’s basically incapacitated and being tricked into decisions by way of poorly made AI videos produced by his scheming viziers

For me, this is one the most beautiful pictures on the internet right now. May we all be inspired by her bravery and also, her joy.

Had one of those once. Never felt so much pain in my life.

The Mayor of New York has seen Alf Hog.

To me, it is bad and not good for the leader of the WNBA player's association to join a league as a part owner that is backed by Saudi Arabia.

ICE cop man ICE cop man ICE cop man meets sandwich man They have a fight Sandwich man wins Sandwich man

Can someone in New York send me a copy of this? I want to frame it

I’m sorry to hear about John Rocker

A 34-year-old as a politician: My god he's like a baby. It's like they just elected an infant to be their mayor. A 34-year-old as an athlete: You have to admire the bravery of him attempting that dunk, knowing full well the grim reaper is right behind him.

One time about 20 years ago a girl I had a huge crush on invited me on what I thought was a date to what I thought was a Bryan Adams concert. It was not a date and it was Ryan Adams and it sucked on both accounts.

Absolutely incredible stuff here

The tackiest motherfucker to ever live

Andrew Cuomo, like Tom Homan, is a bitch

I have one cigarette a day, right about this time. This one tastes better than any I’ve had in a long time.

“I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life”

Bluesky rn

Higher quality cos I'm a sicko

Was wondering how he’d deal with Trump in that speech and my goodness that was fuckin perfect. And starting with Debs? Fuckin A man. Fuckin A.

Fuck he’s good

Ok now go draw a 52-0 map

Prop 50 called immediately hell yeah

If we're libbing out tonight let's go to the source material

This New York reporter is talking to people in California poll lines and he keeps saying “on line” to them

Lmfao they’re big mad

She’s running against Schumer. Bet on it.

There are still a lot of hard times ahead, but remember this moment and what it means: We can win.

If it happened tonight this would be the greatest night in history

Florida awaits, Andy

It’s Zover

Grabbing on to this bit of hopefulness with both hands

It ain’t Zover til it’s Zover

Congratulations to Abigail Whataburger