I live here

Just trust me you’ll be fine… ouogh when I’m back to Chicago I’ll feel it… I say goodbye to the beginning…

Attention ALL women…. I am your friend!!!

Blah blah blah… blah blah blah…

Guy on Scotland named London Dykes… he should be named Edinburgh Dykes #itsmytwocents

Looking forward to eating pizza after softball practice tonight

@beepthief.bsky.social hope you are having a good Memorial Day weekend buddy.

Bro turn around

Blazers-Spurs, what is this, the damn dress code to Buffalo Bill’s funeral??

Fern time

gas station attendant: it's a air fryer. it fries the air. anton chigurh: you don't know what you're talking about, do you?

Good evening

Very funny to now consider Poptimism as an idea. Buddy it’s all Poptimism

New Balance - All your favorite young hoopers living it up in a well-lit gym - It’s New Balance

this ones for the car guys, my uncles corvette

Money Long like Justin

Just took a crap that could only be accurately described as “spindly.” Curious… most curious….

Hows it going Everybody

Geralt vs Chewbacca….. WHO YA GOT!!!!!!

SEAHAWKS!!!!!

Anybody got any nice queso dip recipes?

they should make a movie series about how it’s irresponsible to use technology to mess with the natural order of things for profit

Milliseconds before waking up this morning, in one final, tiny burp-up of subconscious, I saw a printed chapter break page that read simply “Irv.” Today, I am Irv.

Imperial hyperCredit for your thoughts?

It’s so sick to draw a lightsaber

There should be a law that allows you to threaten the public relations professionals who work for the Washington State Department of Transportation’s social media team

This chili i just made is gas.

Going to start trying some new slangs out

JD Vance you will never fill the hole in your soul and you will never experience real love platonic or otherwise. The world will never be quite real to you despite all desperate efforts otherwise. On your deathbed your last thought will be “Is that all?” And you are very ugly as well.

The only thing that could heal us as a nation would be for every person who lives here to line up in a big line and one by one take turns taking a banjo solo in one final ultimate rendition of foggy mountain breakdown

Sitting eating my torta and a nerd orders and walks away with a limp. A nerd with a limp. Lmfao

How about a Piven Table. In excel

not an accurate representation of our interaction. I was enjoying a quiet beverage alone when this man accosted me

Reading some Zane Grey

Rest in peace Scott Adams. Ratbert was a HUGE influence on my comedy

This is the year I fart my own brain

This is the year I fart my own brain

That epic moment when you realize that you don’t have to brush your teeth anymore because your wife went to stay at her mother’s for “a while”

"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...

Moneyball (2011) | Brad Pitt explains why Nien Nunb isn't worth 7.5 million credits

Behold the goated chocolate shortbread jam sandwich cookie of my Aunt Linda

All right, no more saying “Autistic” please