The things I could tell you had I the Freedom of Speech!

how about cafes fringing a charming cobbled old town with colourful, eccentric looking buildings?

Can people in Europe please post more when I’m awake on a red eye…

“Most people are stupid” mindset will save you from finding yourself in this unsavory rhetorical pretzel, among many others

Drinking 1000 beers and playing Flight Simulator

perfect joke alert

Overhearing a meet cute at the airport but they are both brain dead so it sounds like a conversation you’d have learning a language. Just naming items they like

“I misread this as” posts are such a low form of conversation as to be basically submental, but that being said I read this blue boomer post as “The NBA” and was like huh. Didn’t know that

Probably only good things will happen in 2026, that's what I'm thinking, is that, probably, it'll only be good things all through 2026, the whole damn time. That's my guess, anyway.

Always interesting to hear someone describe “American” culture (or a particular state or region) and it becomes clear that their friends and family just have bad taste.

Telling everyone I get sad at the end of the day on Christmas does not make me feel better but it does transmute a personal emotional problem into me being everyone else’s problem, which is not nothing

Me playing a video game where there's a stoic, rigidly scrupulous blacksmith and the game doesn't let you have sex with him: alright, well there goes my plan to have sex with this stoic, rigidly scrupulous blacksmith

Xi Jinping, sir, my family and I would also like access to the deep water port of Gwadar

I’m like a truffle pig except for identifying Basque people. Literally never wrong about it

Fans of Christmas are in for a treat tomorrow

James Merril’s poem “Christmas Tree,” written while he was dying of AIDS. 1995.

You can't "make" the yuletide gay, but you CAN accept it for what it always has been :)

You guys let me know when you figure out which of the dozens of letters that go like, "And to my luscious fellow traveler in the dark appetites, Donald J. Trump...life is a cabaret until the music stops!" are real or not. I'm going to lunch

[with an extremely famous degree of wit and erudition] Dear fellow sex criminal. It seems that instead of “grabbing ass,” I have been reduced to “being imprisoned.” It makes one think, of Paradoxes, my old friend. Sinceraly [sic], Jaff [sic]

Sean Payton we are going to make a purse out of you

Computer: A STRANGE GAME. THE ONLY WINNING MOVE IS NOT TO PLAY. Me: Shut the fuck up! God!!! Another guy: Jesus Christ, enough Third guy: We fucking get it, holy shit

I like it on a plane when the captain has to go to the bathroom because they block the front off for security reasons and you can tell exactly how long he or she has been in the bathroom. Captain are you keeping up with your screenings

Getting your ass kicked is trending

I know it's a busy time of year but I really hope you can make it to my Tunguska event

I'm still waiting for the Zoomers to produce their Kwisatz Haderach (a 23 year old who becomes the "coworker who knows how to edit PDFs")

I bet it would feel so good at first to get microwaved

It would be funny to slam a nuclear Oh So You Assume Everyone Has Access To Healthcare on the person losing their shit about STI testing in straight monog couples but it’s Christmas after all

In transit across this great pig nation and just heard a guy pronounce “Lagunitas” like -itis. Enchanting

it only gets brighter from here, bitch

yeah i...i *think* i read theory

ohhhhhhh hell yeah its the fuckin solstice !!!!! fuck the equinox its #solstice the god damn #Solstice ‼️‼️

I was deleting a bunch of screenshots and I guess this was a joke I was going to make at one point (I think I was going to put Kindly Cowpoke on this list by himself.) Here you go. You can imagine how it might have been funny.

Nut Luncheon

happy solstice eve to you and yours

Why are sports guys always referring to the “man upstairs”? You think there are stairs? Can you draw me a floormap you fucking imbecile

"My 10th-great grandfather founded Hartford and I post incessantly online. He would be ashamed of me."

Fake. Not a coherent entry in the taxonomy of American hog fauna.

trump: prices are down. we're living deliciously. it's beautiful kilmeade: democrats say you met with black phillip-in essence the devil. can you squash that rumor? trump: i won't say who but we had a conversation that might be one of the most wonderful conversations in terms of the things we said

Tis the season

As the foremost scholar on younger generations (zoomer ladies at work tell me about their dating woes approx. quarterly) I think there has never been an easier layup than being a normal-ish zoomer guy. You can have the stupid haircut just don't be telling the newspaper how much you love Hitler

Nearby favorite brewery announced a canned ESB within 24 hours of posting this.

You are god's strongest soldier and a daily inspiration on the virtues of being 'that bitch'

try our new black IPA. it's black because we ground up a gun and put it in there

The most popular beer in the US is Misty’s IPA that tastes like ground-up guns

In light of word that the US admin is trying to eradicate trans youth via threats to hospitals & care providers, my werewolf horror / trans catharsis story "They Say Don't Get Clocked" is free through the weekend. May it provide comfort, catharsis, and perhaps inspiration. itch.io/s/176242/we-...

i just burned down the jerk store. tired of their spam calls.

No one with a job should have to know who Adin Ross is

Found a post from 2017 lol

new york city fall 2025 #photography 📷 #believeinfilm #35mm #landscape #cityscape #filmphotography

I'll be home for Christmas. Hell, I'm home right now