New York Yankees infielder Jizz Jism.

THE RIYADH COMEDY FESTIVAL I came, I "saw", I laughed!

Times were tough. Comedy clubs were closing. People didn’t have the money to go out for a night of stand-up. So that’s when I hit the bonesaw circuit.

However you can’t poll yourselves out of fascism. He’s in power and he’s not going to surrender it.

Bonesaw Bill Burr.

man this really foretold the entire tech industry huh

New York vs Boston. Baseball Hitler vs Baseball Hitlah.

My goals are simple: one, create the most lethal fighting force in the world and two, make them resent me specifically

Did someone tell him that Wick was clean shaven?

The Never-Grew-Mineers.

Generals gathered in their masses Having to listen to two dumbasses

remember, 4-5 fun size candy bar wrappers in the garbage can can easily be covered by a crumpled paper towel

the president of the united states wants to use the american military to kill american citizens on american soil. that's the whole story!

No more pesky Geneva convention or rules of war. Just do whatever you want and then it's ok for your enemies to just do whatever they want to your guys because they assume you are doing the worst to theirs.

@yogurttowne.bsky.social Just a minor correction on your Amanda Shires article in Paste. Isbell filed for divorce, not Shires. Cheers.

[A farmer looks out his window at the For Sale sign down the end of his long driveway. Soybeans are rotting in his fields; there are no workers to pick them and no markets to sell them. Fox & Friends blares on the tv in the background.] "This is what Jesus would've wanted," he says confidently.

The endgame for all of this is constructing a military that will obey orders when ordered to fire on citizens. That's the throughline to half of what Trump is doing.

Chase Brown: Cincinnati Bengal or ICE mandate?

*Smoke on the Water voice*

not true

just remembered the time I went to a performance at the Met Opera (my first ever) and the crowd cheered for the return of a longtime director after a medical absence from the row behind me, in the most blue-blood voice I’ve ever heard, I hear a man mutter disdainfully “It’s not a rodeo.”

He steps aside as the bull is coming.

Peter Thiel giving lectures about the antichrist is just another illustration of the fact that the most dangerous thing about billionaires is that they exist in a world where nobody tells them their stupid ideas are stupid and are therefore prone to inflict their stupid ideas on all of us.

We are fucking morons in this province. I would vote for a broken stool over this grifting idiot.

Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth* A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel” Person watching on tv: well if they say so

"If we go light on the Kissinger part, I wouldn't complain" is an instant hall-of-famer.

Never forget how Michael Ian Black cuddled up to this ghoul.

This sounds like an ODB lyric.

This true and has happened for a long time. Years ago Canada sent Ted Cruz.

Do you remember The chicken we put in the blender It was such a delight to dismember With the feathers flying every waaaaay

The editors on that planned Sinclair documentary got through about 10 minutes of this sort of footage and went, ummm.

Out behind the plastic surgeon's office, scavenging mediocre noses again.

his neck was probably made of pure diamond with that fuckin dome pushing down on it for 3 decades

you ever shit your pants so bad you shit your shirt too

A phenomenal live show.

(Solemnly shaking my ass) I call this The Charlie Twirk.

LARGE ADULT SONS ALERT.

I'm kind of shocked at how mad I got about this. Just an absolutely dipshit coward decision.

I’ve been misled. None of the guys at this gay dance club want to even try these.

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen

Canadians should be super mad at this shit. Fuck the monarchy. Threatens Canadian sovereignty, still gets the red carpet treatment.

Turns out it's a lot easier to turn it all into state media when there are like 5 media companies instead 5,000.

Officially the worst and weirdest time I've ever experienced in the US. Congrats kids, I can no longer talk about how post-9/11 was the stupidest time. The points have been reset but the numbers are all frozen at like 999 or -1. "2025" itself is slowly drifing from numbers, currently known as Z-A☐5.

this is so stupid defector.com/nice-hat-mel...

He has such incredible Tim Robinson ITYSL energy.

Having a pet raccoon would probably be the closet thing to living with a goblin

@gordonshumway.bsky.social Explain this.

not an exaggeration to say I am WEEPING with laughter at this reply from someone who hadn't seen that Robert Redford died today