I did not expect this to include his own wife.

To be fair, he was planning to do that the second the Epstein files drop anyway.

Dick Cheney departs the world he made: defector.com/dick-cheney-...

They Leafed it.

Just had a Freudian slip and called them the Leafs.

I finally put my finger on who Alejandro Kirk reminds me of: Clarence Beeftank from Jon Bois’s Breaking Madden series.

I just figured out who Kash Patel reminds me of in every photo.

I have a second cousin around my age; we share paternal great-grandparents. Her mother (who is around my parents’ age) is my first-cousin-once-removed-in-law. I’m not calling her that. I had to look at a chart just to figure it out. She’s my aunt. She just is.

If we’re going after politicians for this kind of thing now, the so-called MILF that Ted Cruz liked on Twitter does not even have biological children of her own.

Happy Barf on Your Butt Day!

If I needed to get a coverup tattoo on my chest, I would simply have an entire shirt tattooed on my torso so that people would never even know if I was shirtless again.

What a brand name. “Park your fat ass and let us hose you down, you big cow.”

Just found out my wife thinks the iconic scene where Richard Dreyfuss builds a mountain out of mashed potatoes is from Mr. Holland’s Opus.

I know he doesn’t take outside suggestions, but if Weird Al doesn’t make a parody of Tame Impala‘s “Dracula” about Count Chocula, I am going to lose my mind.

"Chuck! Chuck, it's Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Berry. You know that new toilet camera technology you're looking for?”

Carson Jerema: Yes, North Korea is a democratic people's republic.

An interesting fact about Ace Frehley that I’ve known since I was a kid is that he was only the second most famous member of his family, next to the author of Rusty Bedsprings.

You will SIT down and you will FINISH your dinner and you will

Instead of celebrating Christopher Columbus, you should celebrate fellow Italian explorer Giovanni “John Cabot” Caboto being the first European explorer since the Vikings to land on mainland North America and, in fact, in Canada, where Thanksgiving is observed on its correct date.

good afternoon

Nice try, witches. Mine are staying buried in their jars where you can’t find them.

and scene

Reach out, text faith Your own virtual Jesus Something to preach the Word Sounding assured

I saw a giant koi today that was far too big for its tank, and over and over, it kept rushing back and forth, slamming its head against the glass and then turning around and doing it again, and I logged in here to tell you about it on an app that gives me the same feeling.

Every few months now I re-read this "Who Goes Nazi?" piece from 1941 and am blown away by how it captures the people we are dealing with 80 years later. harpers.org/archive/1941...

Wow, the University of Washington's Psych 201 class does *not* play go fuckin Huskies Nazi UW students fuck off

Obviously this is compulsory listening, but prior to this episode I just thought of Jimmy Page as 'the guy who steals tunes from black blues artists'. In fact he's 'the guy who steals from blues, management, ex-bandmates, CURRENT bandmates, sound engineers, folkies and his singer'.

“You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me twenty!” Hey, whatever happened to that guy, anyway?

It can’t be hard to turn a blind eye when there’s nothing at all behind those eyes.

These sellout comedians have the chance to win back our respect by putting on the show people are dying to see: the Comedy Central Roast of Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud.

It’s going to be weird when you click on your female Sim to go to work and she can’t get in the car and drive.

The surveillance state is going to backfire on Larry Ellison when it constantly records and reports on what everyone is saying about his weird face.

With Pete Davidson getting a big check to do the Riyadh Comedy Festival, the Saudis are finally paying reparations for 9/11. And jokes like that aren’t allowed at the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

"You'll laugh your heads off!" Look at these fucking assholes.

Happy 16th anniversary, to all who celebrate.

Good to know King Charles is the one political leader on TERF Island who respects the Egg Prime Directive.

Put together some thoughts here. In an earlier time he would have been the kind of writer being paid $5 a word by magazines to go write about whatever he pleased. And no one would be pissed off or jealous about it either. www.welcometohellworld.com/life-is-a-pr...

I think Kaleb would have loved this show.

RIP Kaleb Horton kalebhorton.ghost.io/2025-so-far/

I’m stunned to hear Kaleb Horton is gone. He was so gifted and such a gift. Go find anything he wrote and read it.

Compromise: transgender for some, miniature American flags for others.

This is the thing. Elbows up doesn't mean "whatever the Liberals say" or even "stand up to the US". It means "Stand up for Canada" and supporting Canada Post is standing up for Canada. 💪

Dave Matthews has the opportunity to do the funniest thing.

Canada Post “lost” 1 billion dollars last year? How about, “it cost Canadians 1 billion dollars to have a national postal service” which works out to costing about $25 a year per person (population of Canada in 2024 = 40 million). Seems like a pretty reasonable cost to me.

Bugs Bunny fucked with Marvin the Martian in each of these at least once

He steps aside as the bull is coming.

POV: My wife excitedly sharing today’s to-do list with me.

Very thoughtful: My seven-year-old woke me up to tell me he was going to watch TV quietly so he didn’t disturb me.

It would be pretty funny if Jimmy Kimmel got raptured on live television.