Yesterday a work crew repairing the sidewalk dug up and snapped my internet line. A tech came and installed a new one and left it lying in the dirt, pending burial. Today another work crew laid sod on top of my new line and cut through it with a circular saw.

Oh my god

I don’t think I’ll ever beat this. www.maptap.gg June 22 100🎯 100🎯 100🎯 99🔥 97🏅 Final score: 988

tired of the "#1 dad" nonsense. if you're a dad, stop treating it like a joke and post your actual national dad ranking. i'm # 492,018, which is actually really high up there, but more importantly it lets me enter ranked dad lobbies where i can get matched up for fistfights with dads of my caliber

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.

I used to watch a lot of hockey games. I watched one game this year (the last one). Next year, I’ll probably watch zero games.

I threw on the new Olivia Rodrigo album. “Wow,” I thought. “She has obviously been listening to a lot of the Cure.” My theory was further supported by track 8, titled “The Cure.” And as I write these words two songs later, a male voice has joined her in a duet. It is—you guessed it—Robert Smith.

I guess it *was* the Corsi Hockey League

I don’t ask for a lot. All I want is a Stanley Cup for all the computer boys in the Hurricanes organization and one big, lingering closeup on a red-eyed Mitch Marner blubbering fat, salty tears.

After the tarp went up to try and stop the “Berlin Wall” moment, Cliff Owen of the AP got the iconic 📸 shot. 🇺🇸

Elon Musk is unambiguously calling for a violent race war. This is far from unprecedented. The Rwandan Genocide was stoked and enabled by Felicien Kabuga, the wealthy owner of the RTLM radio station that helped coordinate the genocide and used euphemisms like "go to work" to signal attacks.

Facebook is bad, but sometimes it shows me things in my Memories that I’d forgotten about that are very good. This is one of those things. youtu.be/1HDugJMKbHo

"nudity today, political speech tomorrow" In five words, @signal.org has given a more trenchant critique of government surveillance tech than 99% of UK legislators, pundits, and NGOs.

They want to turn every computer, app, and web site into a machine that constantly monitors your behaviour for the government. And yes, I obviously know how much information about us our devices already collect, but this is so much worse.

at the end of every level all the enemies get back up and shake your hand despite having clearly sustained life-ending injuries, like miyamoto wanted to do in goldeneye

they should make a jackie chan game like the new bond one where you're just having slapstick fights. there should be a button to yell "sorry!" or "i don't want any trouble!" while you're smashing someone's skull with a mop

Wait let's make the meme correctly.

I don’t know why I assumed he’d just have the UFC fighters brawling on the lawn like drunken louts ruining a barbecue without erecting some twisted, obscene architecture like the dark tower of Barad-dûr, but of course he is.

Every commencement speech intended to get grads excited about the future being AI slop reminds me of Monty Burns genuinely thinking he’s doing good by leaving no sea creature unwasted by recycling them into slurry.

2 * $0 = $0 Math checks out.

I have the Beach Boys’ “Johnny Carson” stuck in my head, which would be fine if I hadn’t realized how easily you can substitute the name “Jimmy Fallon.”

Me, listening to the first 45 minutes of the episode.

The song of the summer is "I Hog the Ground," by Steven Drozd from The Flaming Lips and Steve Burns from Blue's Clues:

someone said Kyle Rittenhouse has the face of one of those cartoon pigs they have on the signs of BBQ joints and I’ve never been able to unsee it

The dumbest men in the world are crashing out over the historical accuracy of casting trans and Black people in a story that features one-eyed giants and women with the bodies of birds.

The original title of The Vagina Monologues

I cannot wrap my brain about the magnitude of this bait and switch.

I always love when the antagonist pulls this move.

The The Band

[extremely Suzanne Vega voice] I am standing At the icebox Looking inside Where your plums were I am sorry But I ate them You were saving Them for breakfast And I hope that You’ll forgive me They were cold and So delicious I am William Carlos Williams And I wrote This Just to Say

You hear about Jean-Luc Picard’s new holodeck program investigating a series of men inexplicably falling groin first into the same ant colony? It’s a dicks-in-hill mystery.

Social sciences prior to Strauss–Howe generational theory.

I have to hand it to him: Robert Wuhl looks great for his age.

I’m excited that The Odyssey finally concludes the Matt Damon Goes Home Trilogy begun in Saving Private Ryan and continued in The Martian.

A stealth contender for the band I’d be most tempted to use a time machine to see in their prime. youtu.be/6-daccV_a54?...

I think the casting of Aziz Ansari as Kash Patel on SNL might be brilliant because Patel *is* Tom Haverford, abusing his government position to party and launch his own branded swag and liquor.

[To the tune of Isaac Hayes’ “Truck Turner”] There's some dudes in a bar With busted heads and broken jaws What hit 'em? Ted Turner!

Almost like a low level drug dealer, pushing product from a mall parking lot.

She never imagined the peacocking fashion show frequently compared to the decadent elites of the luxurious Capitol in The Hunger Games would start being seen as a symbol of excess.

Pulling an incredible practical joke on my roommates with the ol’ switcheroo.

I saw some recent footage of Frankie Valli performing, and he looks like Panya the mummy from B.P.R.D.

Hello, baby! Yeah, this is the Big Berkowitz a-speakin' Ah-ah-ah-ah Oh, you sweet dog! Kill the WHO? In parked WHAT? Oh, baby, you know what I like!

So @cdnpress.bsky.social has written THREE separate stories today on potential social media bans for minors, and not one of them has mentioned that this would require whole-of-internet surveillance. This is a fundamental part of this story, and they are flat-out ignoring it.

After hearing via @500songspodcast.bsky.social of the many indignities heaped upon young Rod Stewart, I now hear the “find myself a rock and roll band that needs a helpin' hand” lyric in “Maggie May” differently. Forget lead singer —can Rod be your backup vocalist? No? How about roadie? Driver?

I love this essay very much!!!!

Film you’ve watched more than 6 times with a gif “Hard mode:“ No Star Trek, Star Wars, LotR, Disney or Ghibli.

Started watching The Testaments. Going to get a lot of mileage out of this after Leafs losses.