Laz šš
@crumbbutler.bsky.social
š¤ 695
š„ 215
š 679
suddenly all my problems gone
Itās possible the fatal flaw of the Republican Party will be the incorrect assumption that every person who ever voted Dem even once would go to the mat for Bill Clinton forever until their last breath and instead they just didnāt give a shit
3 days ago
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Your absolute dumbest coworker loves to tell you your lunch smells good and ask you where you got it
3 days ago
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Try our new 35-Napkin Burger! āHorrible!ā
3 days ago
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My year-round Christmas Themed bar āNogs + Gloggsā has been valued by private equity at forty billion dollars
4 days ago
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reposted by
Laz šš
leon
5 days ago
add a skeleton here at some point
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Nice pass fuckface
6 days ago
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Iāve got to be honest I basically have no idea whatās going on with the government this go round but everyoneās suggestions seem very good. And if I may: have any of the senators tried dressing weird?
6 days ago
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6 days ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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We need a national investigation into what the fuck people ahead of you in the Dunkin drive thru line are doing up there
7 days ago
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Alright zohdog speech is a little long cmon man
10 days ago
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10 days ago
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Bad news gang: a guy just got off a free bus and stabbed me with a big scimitar
11 days ago
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Thatās it, Iām moving back to Israel
11 days ago
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When a guy flies in from out of town in a special attention grabbing outfit to get an 87 point election lead over the line, I thank him for selfless service
11 days ago
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Hold on, thereās a guy who can tell me some very obvious political opinions to hold, AND heās zany? Surely access to this man must cost tens of thousands of dollarsā¦
11 days ago
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People are open to Zohranās ostensibly novel ideas because he looks and acts normal. Quote tweet unrelated
add a skeleton here at some point
11 days ago
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I am reporting that Dick Cheney is alive
11 days ago
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I love using an app and then getting the pop up āHow Are We Doing?ā and then trying to figure out which answer is going to waste less of your time
11 days ago
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Tough day today. I had HR called on me (the Homo Response unit)
12 days ago
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Can Zohran hurry up and win already so I can stop seeing these unbearable articles about how New York is dying
12 days ago
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Voting is both and honor and a privilege and being a poll worker is a venerable civic duty. Unfortunately some poll workers are fucking DICKS who should be set adrift on a bargeā¦
15 days ago
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Joel Osteen has that look now where things are just holding on but give it a couple years and heās going to look truly truly monstrous
20 days ago
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The sad reality is that gambling (or whatever the vice of the day is) did not turn tens of millions of Americans into boorish slobs. They were boorish slobs already and this is just what theyāre being slobs about at this moment
21 days ago
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reposted by
Laz šš
King of Turtle Island
23 days ago
Also this isnāt even sports gambling
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Itās so funny to be like āthis illegal gambling scheme would never have occurred without legalized sports gambling, before which gambling never existedā
add a skeleton here at some point
23 days ago
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People love to run and hold open the subway doors at the last second, delaying everyone else, and then look around smiling like everyone else is sharing in their Zany New York Adventure instead of wishing that that doors had bisected them
23 days ago
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Tired: 8 foot yard skeleton Wired: yard skeletons with big asses
24 days ago
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āLemme get a tattoo of a cool skullā¦..the coolest skull you gotā
25 days ago
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We all love the big dumper but a loved one correctly pointed out there are like 4 guys on the field at any point in time who could credibly be the big dumper
26 days ago
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āNatural wineā. Thatās not anything, right? Itās just normal wine
26 days ago
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i'm concerned that the president flying around a cartoon plane full of shit will have a "chilling effect" on political discourse...
27 days ago
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(80 million people protesting) they bussed these guys in from out of town...
28 days ago
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Deliver me Thai food from nowhere
29 days ago
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The main thing about music now is song titles are in all caps. Also the songs are garbage
29 days ago
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I love to āscore points on Israelā in the mayoral debate
30 days ago
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So many articles trying to figure out why New Yorkers are voting for Zohran and none of them can figure out itās that heās the only one who seems like a genuinely nice guy. Thatās it. Insanely, Sliwa comes in second there
30 days ago
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People think the right to read the worldās largest paperback on the subway is extremely important and you must create space for it. Wrong. Iāll knock that dumb book right out of your hands
about 1 month ago
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Well I canāt think of a better way to spend forty billion dollars
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Some people feeling like they donāt have to pick up their dogās shit when itās raining is one of lifeās great mysteries
about 1 month ago
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āToo excited for free foodā is one of the least appealing coworker characteristics
about 1 month ago
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refs simply don't have to call every penalty. they can see a penalty and just go "well that isn't really anything" and just not make a call. and it would be great!
about 1 month ago
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punching at the ball is so stupid. it's not fooball and it should be illegal
about 1 month ago
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Eagles looking sharp
about 1 month ago
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August: Osage County and Songs: Ohia are the same thing
about 1 month ago
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An insane amount of people are openly like āthe greatest American filmmaker under 65 has graced us with another movie to watch. And now I will give him some pointers!ā
about 2 months ago
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Trying to get the Japan native sushi chef at the Michelin starred omakase place to say āCharlie Kirkā and filming it
about 2 months ago
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????????
about 2 months ago
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Not now
about 2 months ago
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Kimmel thing extremely bad. Unrelated: so, what he fake hated Matt Damon? And that was it? And people loved it?
about 2 months ago
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