The Berenstain Bears have been humanely euthanized

700 million-car pileup has left 1.3 billion dead on the information superhighway

I am currently near the end of a month long murder trial. My client is claiming self defense. He testified today. While on cross exam the prosecutor brought out a five foot tall visibly female doll and a toy lightsaber and had my client reenact how he was being attacked at the time he shot the guy

GANGSTER FROM 1940: so they're godless, the annoying kind, not the scary kind, have no dames, and dress awful? ME: yep. in about 70 years G: me and this hat will be gone by then. what's the blue hedgehog's name again? ME: sonic G: and the thing you did with that car earlier? ME: ghostride the whip

everyday beautiful women plot my demise

Michael Tracey is not in fact in his mid 50s despite looking like that. He is in fact one year younger than me

can’t buy house. can’t buy car. can’t buy computer. welcome to PISS WORLD bitch!!

Learning is the dopest adventure #education

EMILY BRONTE: [attempting to write a work of fiction that will stand the test of time] perhaps this next chapter sh- EMILY BRONTE'S FRIEND LARRY: [bursting into room] sup brontesaurus

(curled up shaking on bathroom floor as wet and pink as a fetal pig) im squinked. im all squinked up

It’s just phone. Phone is bad

Who will be second and third in the Rule of Threes? Maybe if we all think hard enough it will happen

Liberals seeing social injustices that dont effect their own lives

The thing that offends me the most about AI stuff is the lack of respect. If you don’t respect me enough to write something yourself, why would I read it. On the topic of respect my wife and kids give me very little and I have this problem where buttons and handles fall off my shirts and briefcases.

Is that good

A lot of 1990s photos of Oasis look like this to me.

That’s Dan❤️‍🩹🦅

continuing my trip to burn down every public building in Project Zomboid, we go and set fire to some places around a dick-shaped lake. which says so much about society #projectzomboid #gaming #youtube #promosky www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ttoj...

just had a formerly republican friend say to me that osama bin laden was right about the united states so things are going great here

no driver has ever done “the double’’: winning the Daytona 500 and saving 155 lives by safely landing an Airbus A320 in the Hudson River

ICE using the same ruse that Ted Bundy used to kidnap people should tell you something.

KINDLY FARMER: Come on inside, Dick. Martha has a hot plate for you. DON DRAPER: (shoveling a pile of manure) Thanks, Hank. You've taught me something important about the human condition. [later] BUCKTOOTHED RUBE ON TV: Dove soap can even wash the shit off my stupid country ass FARMER: what the hell

reading about the effects of cutting USAID. i think a painting of elon musk should be hung in public for everyone to see. a painting of elon musk should be put up against a wall and shot with a nice camera

This rules. I love how delighted they all look!

sorry your wife is mid, but i don’t really see how that qualifies her to help anyone through childbirth

LAMBS ARE ALWAYS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY!!

Its so important to tell your cat that they are stinky, even if they arent

Chuck Epstein Cheese

10 years ago today, Barack Obama smothered Antonin Scalia to death with his pillow. Thanks, dude!

I just used 12 AI agents to create 5 AI agents. And each of them used 7 AI agents to use 8 AI agents. What were the 8 AI agents doing? 𝗟𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴. The transformative power of agentic AI is here. Get on board—𝗼𝗿 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱.

Jeffrey Epstein to Bill Gates in December 2016: “come to visit the island. new adminstration people visiting” (www.justice.gov/epstein/file...)

horizon view, atlantic city, new jersey, 1985

its friday the 13th baby

sorry i missed the virtual meeting on discord, liz. i got hit with the id verification that happens when the app detects youre young

A little Cowboy Bebop action on the space sax 🌛🎷✨

tom wilson aka biff from back to the future or famous dipshit david brooks

The best play is just to never, at any cost, be on any list

My sources say the death penalty, for espionage, is being considered for Nick Castellanos. I am pro-life and take no pleasure in reporting this